Partners and friends of the opposite sex

Guest101

beautiful_ravens wrote: »

Ive had a similar problem most of my life, being a woman who prefers male company/friends. Its caused at least one ruckus in every relationship Ive had.
My now DH is ok with it because he is good friends with the same blokes. But I can almost guarantee that if I met a bloke today and became friends, DH would not quite believe that they werent 'after something'.

I think a big problem with opposite sex friendships is the perceived potential for cheating.

It may be that OP's partner sees something in the other woman/friend that she considers worth being worried about. Maybe its 'what does she know about him that I dont dont' kind of worries. Maybe its just that friendships have no particular strings or obligations compared to relationships and its a jealousy over an easier style of relationship.

I don't know your DH obviously, but from my perspective, I find it stranger when people stay friends with exes than make new friends.

maman

Guest101 wrote: »

I don't know your DH obviously, but from my perspective, I find it stranger when people stay friends with exes than make new friends.

I think I can agree with that.


With my platonic male friends I've never had a sexual relationship and never will but there's always history attached to an ex.

gonzo127

Guest101 wrote: »

I don't know your DH obviously, but from my perspective, I find it stranger when people stay friends with exes than make new friends.

i dont know, i dont find it that surprising, as there is the 'been there, done that, not interested any longer'

whereas a new friend can be like the shiny new phone you want, even though you dont need it,

shiny newness can/does create desire even against reason

heartbreak_star

I'm at least on speaking terms with all of my exes bar one, and he was violent. I was actually best man for my ex-fiance, ha ha!

It's nice to retain a passing acquaintance at least, especially if you have friends in common

HBS x

beautiful_ravens

Perhaps my post wasnt clear - my bloke friends arent my ex's. Theyre just our friends. I am only facebook-friends with my ex's!

NeilCr

My ex and I are good friends.

We were together for a long time and the relationship had just run it's course. There was no big bust up - we sat down one day and decided the best thing was for us to go our separate ways

She lives in a different part of the country and we chat on the phone once a week. We have a lot of history, know each other very well and can help and advise on occasions

To be honest, we probably get on better now as there aren't the daily niggles that used to be so irksome (for both of us!)

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Time to bail out. Otherwise you'll end up skulking around and trying to find excuses to hide your tracks just to talk to people - add in a bit of the excitement of subterfuge/disobeying Mummy/psychobunnyboiler and you'll end up nobbing the first secret friend who actually fancies you and suggests that you could experience more freedom in a relationship with them.

Control freaks tend to push relatively normal people into behaving exactly how they imagine they will as soon as the leash is loosened; it's partly the 'may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb' response.

aussie_in_wales

Totally agree with Pollycat.
I do a lot of climbing and a lot of my friends I climb with are male. We go away on weekends camping and climbing but they are just friends and have been for 15 years or so. I would not accept a boyfriend demanding that I cut of my friendship with my long time friends as they were too jealous, immature or distrustful to handle it.

I have ended relationships with guys in the past because of this. If you give in now you've set a precedent for her to 'demand' certain unreasonable things from you in the future.