Mrs S, family life and debt

MrsSave

Thank you for asking. We did have a nice day out. The boys enjoyed, and were completely shattered by the time we got home. They went straight to sleep at bedtime with no problems. I avoided a few phone calls last night (I did contact people to explain why!). I just don't feel I've had any time to process anything as when I'm with the boys all my energy goes in to them. We were late home last night so once they were in bed I just wanted time to think, and not chat with people. MrS is picking them up around midday today and will be bringing them back Sunday afternoon. It's going to be a strange Saturday night, but I think the time alone will be good to get my head straight!

I have a grocery delivery coming mid afternoon which will be £40 something. It contains quite a few household items to stock up. My plan for the weekend when the boys aren't here is a general tidy up downstairs, vacuum throughout and then a deeper sort out of the living room. I'm thinking of working through the house one room at a time and having a proper declutter.

Money - yesterday was a no spend day thanks to my mum. Today's only spend should be the food delivery. I'm keeping an eye on ynab and the bank accounts. They're all up to date. I had an e-mail through from British Gas yesterday to confirm my switch to them. It should be all switched by the middle of January.

wishingthemortgaheaway

So pleased you had a lovely day out yesterday.
The deep clean and declutter sounds like a good plan, but remember to have some you time and some fun too.
I'm sure it's hard at the moment speaking to friends and wider family, but the longer you leave it, the harder it will be. Maybe pick a couple of close friends, explain the 'ground rules' what you don't want to talk about, then go and have some fun.

Have a good day today.

Wish

MrsSave

I've spent this afternoon tidying and cleaning most of the living room. I've got a few things to sort through that are currently on the floor behind the sofa (the living room is split in 2 with one of the sofas splitting in - if that makes sense. The piano and children's toys are behind the sofa so that when they're in bed I can only see a tidy room....no toys!!). I even sorted the cupboards. I disconnected the Xbox and connected the DVD player.

I received a form through the post for the council tax discount. I've filled that in so will post it in the next day or 2. The food shop was £48.10. No other spends today. I've got £46 left for Spends this week. I don't think I have anything I need to buy this week, plenty I want but nothing I need so that £46 should be good.

It was difficult seeing the boys go today. Saying goodbye was so difficult, and trying to do it in a cheery way too. I totally broke down after they went, gave myself 10 minutes to be all sad and then got busy. MrS sent me a pic of them today, and a video of them saying they loved me (well ds1 did, ds2 was just happily splashing away - they were in the bath!). I've also spoken to then over facetime just before they went to bed. It all seems ok now - it's just like they're in bed! Tomorrow morning will be super strange, being the only on here. They'll be back tomorrow afternoon and they're then here with me until Wednesday night.

I won't put off speaking with friends for too long. I think I really need time to process without other people expressing how sad they are (already had a lot of that) and have had a few asking if we can try again by either getting back together or counselling. I know people mean well but I need to work out my feelings, and what's going on in my head without influence from others. I'm still 100% sure that we have made the correct decision. People didn't see what was going on beforehand with our talks and general unhappiness with each other so it's has been a complete surprise for people.

System

It happened to me over 14 yrs ago, I knew 12 months before that my marriage was over but tried carrying on for the children. It all came to a head and DH bought a house of his own eventually and we stay acquainted and are tolerant of each other . I didn’t want to talk about it either and probably only told my parents and 2 close friends any of the decisions. If and when you want to you will speak to people or you may never want to do it. The children are being well looked after by their father and the grandparents are around as well. It will be strange to start with , but you will soon get into a routine with it all. If you need to sound off , have a moan or anything else , we are all here to help you .

MrsSave

As someone who struggles to sleep, I went to bed around 9:30 last night, and other than stirring to look at the clock a couple of times, I slept through until 6:45. My plans today before the boys get home this afternoon are:

• Finish sorting the living room,
• Wash both boys' bed clothes,
• Sort the bins - bin day tomorrow,
• Take empty bottles to the bottle bank,
• Clean downstairs toilet.

If I manage that, it will mean that downstairs will be clean and tidy for them when they get back (probably not for long :rotfl: ). Then next Saturday when they're not here, I'll tackle one of the bedrooms - probably mine. I have a canvas wardrobe to take down, and may rearrange furniture a little.

I've checked ynab and the accounts this morning - no change, but they're not usually updated over the weekend anyway.

The boys will be back mid afternoon today. Tomorrow is then an inset day so they'll be with me all day. Will contact the school tomorrow to let them know what's happened, rather than trying to talk with the teacher first thing Tuesday morning when she has a class full of children and parents in and out. Ds1 does tend to keep school and home separate but I think it's important for them to be aware.

debtaghh

Hope you’re ok, you seem to be doing well.

System

Glad to hear you slept well , have a good morning before the little ones come flying through the door.

[Deleted User]

Morning MrsS,

Just caught up on your diary and I'm sending big hugs your way.

I'm sure you and MrS will do what's right for you both and the boys and it'll be different initially but things will work out.

Xxx

MrsSave

Yesterday’s list:
*Finish sorting the living room, done
*Wash both boys' bed clothes, done
*Sort the bins - bin day tomorrow, done
*Take empty bottles to the bottle bank,
*Clean downstairs toilet. done

Almost all tasks done. The bottles are in a box outside, I was going to take them today but I forgot! Will do it tomorrow. I also started sorting my bedroom out yesterday, and ironed everything in the basket.

Today I took the boys to soft play (my eldest has an inset), as well as to buy new school shoes :eek: £40 shoes, £2 soft play and £3 car park. I was supposed to post the council tax letter, but it’s still on the fireplace! I must remember to do it tomorrow. I also sorted out ds1’s clothes - he had a few pairs of too small trousers (including school trousers). I’ve ordered 2 more pairs of school trousers from Asda (£3 each!) so thay he has 5 that fit. I need to sort through ds2’s room tomorrow.

Everything else seems to be going ok. MrS is calling round after food to play with the boys and put them to bed.

MrsSave

I'm feeling super proud this morning - I've just fixed the toilet all by myself :rotfl: It had too much water in the cistern so water kept flowing through. All sorted and now no constant water running. Amazing what you can do with google, YouTube and a screwdriver!!!

I popped to Tesco this morning with ds2 after dropping ds1 off at school. I may keep Tuesday at shopping day for the moment. I have been having Saturday as shopping day, and Saturday as new money week which has been working well. I don't want to be worrying about things like groceries over the weeend though when I either have time with the boys, or time to get done what I need to when they're with their dad. I need to have a think about this!!