Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

Can you ask your mum to chip in towards the cooker?

I think she is going to pay for it. I know nothing about cookers

Can anyone think of anything I can do for my sister and BIL?

Mum is super worried about her and it is obviously a problem I can't solve...

beanielou

It is a difficult one Buffy.
A nice afternoon tea or a high tea?
Or do you mean more on the practical side?

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

It is a difficult one Buffy.
A nice afternoon tea or a high tea?
Or do you mean more on the practical side?

I really don't know. I think at the moment I am trying to put my oxygen mask on first.......I know I don't really have many problems certainly not on the scale my sister has but I need (almost obsessively so) to sort this house out and make the house easier for me and Mum, and then if anything needs doing I am in a better position to do it.

One of my biggest problems last year was that we couldn't have a dog walker/pet sitter because Mum and I were so embarrassed by the house. It is shallow I know but it was such a moment to moment situation and we didn't have a clue how long anything was going to carry on. Plus I was just in the process of starting to straighten out my room and the garden. place looked like a bomb had hit it.

So in the face of having no idea what to do for my sister, I shall sort this... until you guys come up with suggestions.

I might email her. And ask?

xxx

Pooky

When Hubby has his accident and we were suddenly thrown into the deep end, the two things I appreciated most were the friend that dropped round a meal once a week for all of us. Ranging from a home cooked shepherds pie and a pudding to a ready meal curry bag thing (not normally our sort of thing) the fact that I had a night off of cooking was a real treat. I wasn't nagging DDs to help I wasn't trying to get DH up and settled before I could start cooking, I could just whack it in the oven and dish it up.

The other thing was once a month a friend used to take Hubby out, just for the morning, they'd go for a coffee or he'd push his chair round DIY shops just talking like they normally would. Those few hours alone in the house were amazing.

What we didn't want was lots of visitors, lots of disturbances to our new routine or lots of well meaning but useless offers of "call us if you need us", because let's face it, most of us won't make that call.

See what your sister says but don't be offended if she doesn't want help, they've got to learn how to cope and they will find ways of getting through this x

Buffythedebtslayer

Yeah, she doesn't seem to want help and I get that, I would need to know I could cope in that situation, bit like sorting the house to make everything manageable. She doesn't cook as such, much like I used to be it is all cereal toast and ready meals. BIL has a very specific diet that cannot be modified.....I could cook soup, like home made soup and food processor it. But she has everything done in date order so... but on the other hand he might like it, the big worry at the moment is that he isn't eating. She has always had a specific and definite way of doing things, whereas the rest of us are a bit haphazard(although Mum can be similar it isn't as consistent) - she reacted to that by being ultra organised and if things challenge that she really gets unsettled.

I might make soup. She can always chuck it if it messes up her plans.

XX

crazy_cat_lady

Hey Buffy
Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit pants at the moment. I'm not surprised though - it doesn't take a lot to knock my mood off course, and it's lots of little things, and some big things as well for you. It's ok to feel rubbish though - everyone does from time to time.

I think you're absolutely right to 'put your oxygen mask on' first as well. It's hard to accept that you're as important as everyone else, but you are - regardless of the 'scale' of yours or anyone else's problems. I don't know why some people (me included) find it so hard to put themselves first. What about that spa you were thinking of?

Lots of love xxx

RosaBernicia

Soup is freezable too - so could become a back up plan even if it doesn't fit with the current schedule.



But totally get what you mean about trying to get the basics sorted so that you are in a better position to offer more.





Rosa xx

Buffythedebtslayer

That is true about the soup Rosa - good point. hmmm.

Ok. so in the spirit of putting my oxygen mask on first today I am cleaning my room today. As in going through the wardrobe, getting shot of clothes, books (the horror) generally fafferey and junk. I am also going to move the room round again as can't settle in the current configuration. (configuration - get me!) I just have to work out how to coral the rabbits whilst I am moving things...

xxxxxx

Pooky

Can the rabbits not go out now?

beanielou

Hope it went well