Too much too soon? Work trials

pollyanna_26

dekaspace As others have said talk to someone if you're struggling .

Remember tomorrow is a new day and what has happened in the past is the past . The longer you hold onto former things that went wrong in college or work the longer they have power over the future you are aiming for .

I wish you well tomorrow and hope you try to settle a little tonight .
I hope to read your feedback on how things went .

Remember the longest journey starts with a single step . It may prove to be too soon but that will help the coaching to focus on the steps that need to be taken to improve the situation .
polly

rach_k

dekaspace wrote: »

And please please please use your common sense and tell me where I said I WASN'T going to do it.


So why is agreeing with me saying "cancel everything" when I never once said that.


I have both already attempted things said as well as listened,


The point was about me rushing in with my background and him meant to not rush me but doing so because of his own interests.

Isn't that kind of the problem though? If you ARE going to do it, why are you posting about why it's a bad idea, why it's rushed, why somebody else is doing things wrong, why it won't work? If you are going to do it, you need to stop thinking about why it is wrong and whose fault it all is and just do it. It's trite but you need to think positive, because right now you are sabotaging it with your negative thinking and constant whinging about why it won't work. Either decide to do it (and do it without all the dithering) or write down clearly why you can't and go back and explain that. All this "I am going to do it but I'm going to moan about everything and say why it won't work" is a waste of everybody's time and energy, mostly yours.

ssparks2003

dekaspace wrote: »

Managed to get a council supported employment advisor, had my first appointment with him Friday where I filled in some forms and on the spot he arranged a job trial for tomorrow with the council!!

How very dare a local council employee go around being proactive, going above and beyond to help someone who both clearly needs help and has asked for help; its absolutely disgusting. Hope that make you feel better. Now time for the reality check. You ask for help and you got it,m there is no point thinking's you have another 2-3 months till someone helps you, its time to help yourself. You obviously have the ability to shop on line so order some clothes on line; I am a larger man and clothes are easy to buy and fairly cheap.

You see to find it easier to come up with an excuse why you should not do something rather than just getting on with it, that has to stop.

AndyPix

Sometimes a little push out of our comfort zone opens our eyes to what we are capable of !!


Best of luck for today and let us know how you got on.


It might be hard, but try not to look for the negatives and just do your best !
Well done for not just sitting on your @ss and expecting the world to come to you

pollyanna_26

As far as I can tell from his posts Dekaspace has hopefully turned up at the interview today . He never said he wouldn't . Autism and the anxiety issue it brings cause constant whirling of the thoughts and memories of past situations that went awry . Overthinking to extreme is a feature and is both exhausting and leads to images of some catastrophe happening if he steps out of the comfort zone .
A lot of people here have offered good advice and support .
A few have posted some things he will find difficult to process a mixture of help and just get on with it .
Time is wasted as he explains and defends things often rather forcefully . I have worked with those on the Autistic spectrum . Constructive advice and support is useful . Critical words are not .
Not many would urge someone with two broken legs to go and climb a mountain . Today that is what the op is trying to do .
Thanks to those who understood and offered him support .
polly

xapprenticex

How did it go m8?

dekaspace

ssparks2003 wrote: »

How very dare a local council employee go around being proactive, going above and beyond to help someone who both clearly needs help and has asked for help; its absolutely disgusting. Hope that make you feel better. Now time for the reality check. You ask for help and you got it,m there is no point thinking's you have another 2-3 months till someone helps you, its time to help yourself. You obviously have the ability to shop on line so order some clothes on line; I am a larger man and clothes are easy to buy and fairly cheap.

You see to find it easier to come up with an excuse why you should not do something rather than just getting on with it, that has to stop.

What a lazy way of baiting someone to make yourself seem better.


Does that make you feel good to ignore everything but what you want to turn around on someone?


If you bothered to actually read what I said I mentioned the online shopping part, but did it not cross your mind that since I was only told late on Friday the clothes wouldn't of been shipped to Monday and my trial was Tuesday?



Just as its intentionally changing facts, I'd like to know where this magical crystal ball you have that you can determine he hasn't put himself first and even that is about interpretation.


I never said he wasn't doing it to help me, else I would of said, I even mentioned he was a nice guy, what I did mention was he HIMSELF mentioned he was changing his normal routine and NOT because of ME but because HE had annual leave coming up and it was for his peace of mind to do it now rather than do it when he comes back so he has a lot of work to catch up on.


HE said that, not ME, so somehow me saying its for his benefit over mine (not that it was ONLY for his benefit, but specifically the rushing was for him not for my benefit)


And to let you know I told him and his supervisor and my occupational therapist and social worker in past agreed full time work is not the way forward until I build experience, and best was about 8 hours per week.


HE is trying to get me to do either full time or 16 hours as thats the norm for their service and HIS words were it was more work for him if I don't follow that schedule.


So that IS for his benefit over mine.


I think hes a nice guy just hes wanting as little paperwork as possible over the BEST outcome for me.


16 hours a week, or rushed job trials is still GOOD but its also very risky as even BEFORE I had mental health problems and was working on and off for years I went overboard working too hard and flaking out, so imagine how much harder it would be now I have mental health issues.



Think about that for a moment rather than go on the offensive and focus on something you can adjust to make an argument.

rach_k wrote: »

Isn't that kind of the problem though? If you ARE going to do it, why are you posting about why it's a bad idea, why it's rushed, why somebody else is doing things wrong, why it won't work? If you are going to do it, you need to stop thinking about why it is wrong and whose fault it all is and just do it. It's trite but you need to think positive, because right now you are sabotaging it with your negative thinking and constant whinging about why it won't work. Either decide to do it (and do it without all the dithering) or write down clearly why you can't and go back and explain that. All this "I am going to do it but I'm going to moan about everything and say why it won't work" is a waste of everybody's time and energy, mostly yours.

Read pollys post further down, I agreed with you until you accused me of whinging and moaning when you fail to understand this is purely down to my autistic way of thinking (and mental health)


Just as lets say I WAS thinking about the good things but only wrote the negative as that was what was stressing me out you would assume I only thought of the negative, totally wrong way to look at it.


Did you not stop and think maybe I had pre planned things like clothes, last minute interviews and the such, the difference being there was that if I applied for a job I could expect to hear back from it, I don't expect to go into a meeting that he and other staff told me was just a meet and greet and be told im doing a job trial a few days later, interestingly enough he had the actual meet and greet and ask me about my job goals, history, education TODAY after I had my job trial yesterday bit late don't you think?!.


It again is like saying if 99% of life and in this situation about the work trial im fine with and you hear the 1% I struggle with why put me down about the 1% instead of focusing that I have come so far and how I can handle the 99%!

Annie35

How did it go Dekaspace?

Tigsteroonie

Stop ranting, and tell us how it went! You did go, didn't you?

pollyanna_26

dekaspace Firstly I hope you did not mind my post #36 . I was hoping to explain some of the difficulties these conditions bring to a situation many people don't understand .
Anxiety etc conjure up everything from a slight worry to a full panic attack to those who have neither witnessed or have an awareness of them .
Autism added to the mix should be something most people have some knowledge of nowadays .
I can see you sound very wound up and no doubt exhausted at the moment .
For clarification did the meet and greet today go ahead?
It's a bit muddled as you mention the advisor doing it for today and the trial for yesterday so i can't work out that in view of him being on leave .
Anyway how did yesterday go? I have been wondering about you .
If you will be doing the IT trial which was planned , I would suggest if you aren't already doing so considering noting down any positives and negatives in the last few days experience .
Take time out and slowly assess what you've written a few times until you weed out any instant reaction type of things .
What's done is done . You don't know the reason the advisor fast forwarded the process . You can't change it .
You can sort out your thoughts slowly and between now and the next trial aim to speak with the senior of the advisor , the social worker and the OT .
Weigh each word to ensure you are putting down the facts only . This could help determine whether things will be clearer to all involved regarding the way ahead .
polly