Too much too soon? Work trials

dekaspace

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

Dekaspace while I am aware of your struggles at this moment I would urge you take this up .
You have said many times that things you have tried to access have never been right for you and complained of lack of help . Not long ago you spoke of trying to get into work and then mentioned meeting with the job coach with a view to doing so .
One thing you've often mentioned is you always have savings . My advice would be to get a bus to the nearest Asda or whatever and buy a couple of shirts and a pair of suitable trousers .
I do understand your fears and other barriers but to my mind turning up at the call centre is important to move forward with your life .
I notice you have started yet another thread about your two friends . I've advised you before but will repeat once more you need to focus on your life and future . Everything else is avoidance .
You don't have weeks of anxiety if you attend the call centre , it's one day at a time and if you struggle the first day talk to your person who set it up to see if issues can be dealt with .
Whenever you do training you will need the correct clothes so do it now .
I should clarify regarding my saying weeks of anxiety I meant you don't have weeks of overthinking the situation . I know you'll still worry but this is going to happen sooner or later so do your best to seize the day .
Good luck
polly

Oh I haven't said I won't take it up as much as panic from the short notice and in past I have freaked out (as in years ago) when I had short notice job interviews.


And the first thing I did when I was told about trial was check local supermarkets and charity shops, didn't find anything.

pollyanna_26

Apart from anything else although very speedily arranged which will have shocked you it's in a way a chance to assess for yourself and for feedback to the job coach where support and effective coaching is needed .
It's a while since you were in the workplace so it will be a worry but if you don't try you'll never know .
If you struggle the first day has the coach on holiday left a backup regarding what happens until his return ?
You need to start to break through the mental barrier of previous experiences and sadly it's not good that the guy has gone on leave before the coaching has really started .
I would give one day at a time a go . Is there anyone at the workplace to deal with any issues in a supportive manner . If they offer training I imagine there will be .
If you really can't get to a supermarket have a search through your stuff if you don't have trousers a decent pair of darkish jeans should be ok . A plain polo shirt or t shirt should do for the first day . Just tell them you had very short notice of the placement .
polly

dekaspace

I wear dark jeans and have plain black t shirt, but the coach says it must be smart clothes not casual (maybe as both placements are within the council and he is friends with the staff and works for the council he thinks it will look bad on him)


I have supermarkets around but few sell clothes, and a Primark a mile away but nothing in my size.

pollyanna_26

I would say the dark jeans and black jeans should be ok for now . As it is a council setting and your placement is via someone employed by the same council it should be ok in view of the short notice to explain you couldn't access the necessary clothing in the time frame given .
It would be worth a look at Asda online at trousers and shirts and buying them . With two different placements set up you will be better just to get what's necessary . The IT one sounds ideal for you so it's worth giving these a go .
Don't let pondering on the intentions or any aspects of the coaches thoughts or reasons cloud your thinking . Often Autism , Anxiety and Stress can cause another interpretation of what is said and meant .
I agree it is very short notice but for all the stress and worry turning up and seeing what it offers is better than staying at home going over the what ifs if you fail to attend .
Good luck
polly

[Deleted User]

Whatever you have will be okay as long as pressed and clean etc. I think when people know of a landmark building such as for the authority, they get all star struck on appearance like this work coach seems to be.

Come to think of it when I would have started as a temp in Business Support AKA Accounts payable for the county council, the most knowledgeable or closest thing (who was star employee many times over) as our mentor wore the attire you mention.

Our line manager wore her coat even over day clothes, in the building - and was accepted.

I would freely let them know of your struggles but this might be the best place for you as this type of organisation really do accept honestly everybody, good luck I can just see you there : )

polgara

dekaspace wrote: »

So your idea is to tell someone with MENTAL HEALTH problems to "think positively"


You don't know me so you don't have a right to make that statement


So I was POSITIVE enough to make an effort to find this service


I was POSITIVE enough to go round local employment agencies and sign up.


I was POSITIVE enough to ask for help from occupational therapy and councelling


I am POSITIVE enough to make a slow but stready effort to change my sleep pattern.


I am POSITIVE enough to make small changes to diet to make myself physically and emotionally better.



So you focus on the one thing I struggle with and not the 99% of things I make an effort with.


So as much as I have tried, you see fit to criticise the things I struggle with.


What does that accomplish? Do you tell someone who has put on a lot of weight then started to go to the gym and losing it slowly that they are fat and lazy as they are not thin right now?



Let me tell you things need to work in stages, forcing me into work straight away sets me up to fail, doing it in stages which are steady enough that you see improvement whilst not overwhelming you mean you can adapt and get better whilst doing enough that you dont slide back into old habits.


Thats what I want, not to overwhelm me in one way or not to do nothing so I get zero improvements.

In my organisation I actually arrange work placements for people with mental health conditions for them to get work experience after years of not working, in conjunction with a mental health agency. I find that the people who look for solutions are those that succeed - and by that I mean trying. We have had individuals who have thrived in the working environment and others who have realised that they need more time and therefore work with their support network to build resilience. However the common factor is that they were willing to give it a go.

rach_k

Why do you think rushing it before the adviser's annual leave is for his benefit and not yours? I don't think many people, knowing they are going on holiday, willingly take on MORE work in the week or two before going away. Most people would be winding down and delaying whatever they can until their return. If he's speeding it all up, I think it far more likely that it's for your benefit i.e. he doesn't want you sitting around wasting your time (and probably getting yourself all worked up). Perhaps he thinks you can cope with it, perhaps he is very experienced at his job and his, albeit brief, contact with you so far made him think it would be better for you just to get you out there doing something instead of giving you time to talk yourself out of it. You mentioned it looking good for him... it doesn't look good for him if you fail so I don't think he would expedite things just because of his holiday.

dekaspace

polgara wrote: »

In my organisation I actually arrange work placements for people with mental health conditions for them to get work experience after years of not working, in conjunction with a mental health agency. I find that the people who look for solutions are those that succeed - and by that I mean trying. We have had individuals who have thrived in the working environment and others who have realised that they need more time and therefore work with their support network to build resilience. However the common factor is that they were willing to give it a go.

Ok then why do you think I am neither attempting solutions, or trying, or not willing to give it a go?


The very fact in past I attempted college is a clue to me attempting to get out of a rut, the fact I spent years with grief over a family members murder and was not even offered councelling, the fact that I moved from a area with no work but I liked (but had bad memories) to somewhere dull but near city and with excellent transport shows commitment, that I myself signed up with local agencies as jobcentre didn't even give me time of day even told me to not stir things.


I was the one who asked for social work support
I was the one who asked for occupational therapy
I was the one who asked for councelling
I was the one who signed up to local agencies
I was the one who researched and spoke to local charities.
I was the one who moved despite the attachments to my old area in order to have more job opportunities.


I haven't said anything about not giving it a go, I have explained it was the too much too soon part that I was worried about, and to take it further my mental health issues haven't even been fixed or at least an attempt to, I mentioned however in the past I was overwhelmed and couldn't handle it (which should imply I need more support)


It was explained to the worker that I have mental health, anxiety and disability issues and going into full time work would not be for me, his own boss agreed with that as did occupational therapist, and social worker, he tells me when he sees me that I should do full time work.


I struggled with full time work before my mental health issues were there and agreed with those other staff members a part time schedule with the option in future to go full time when I am comfortable is best, also means I don't have to worry about making ends meet due to tax credits.


So of course I did my research first and everyone agreed that was best thing.


So since its been years since I last work did you not think I tried things in past and got nowhere so ended up making mental health worse?


Point being its never that simple.


My head whilst still scattered has improved enough to attempt something like this.

dekaspace

rach_k wrote: »

Why do you think rushing it before the adviser's annual leave is for his benefit and not yours? I don't think many people, knowing they are going on holiday, willingly take on MORE work in the week or two before going away. Most people would be winding down and delaying whatever they can until their return. If he's speeding it all up, I think it far more likely that it's for your benefit i.e. he doesn't want you sitting around wasting your time (and probably getting yourself all worked up). Perhaps he thinks you can cope with it, perhaps he is very experienced at his job and his, albeit brief, contact with you so far made him think it would be better for you just to get you out there doing something instead of giving you time to talk yourself out of it. You mentioned it looking good for him... it doesn't look good for him if you fail so I don't think he would expedite things just because of his holiday.

He himself said he has never done a job trial this quickly and officially its 8-12 weeks,



He himself said he wanted it over and done with before his annual leave so he can take it easier when he comes back.


His own supervisor who has worked in the job 20 years said she didn't want me rushing in and to take it slow as did the occupational therapist and social worker who came out to see me at same time and all agreed.


I knew him all of 15 minutes and this was before he knew my work history when he decided he wanted a work trial a few days later, he didn't know when I last worked, he didn't know my educational background, he did know I had mental health problems.


Please tell me why you think I would of talked myself out of it AFTER having time to prepare, rather than talk myself out of it when I don't, that isn't my personality at all, at most it would be on my mind and I would actually be excited to go for it knowing I had prepared.


So his own words state things like it looks good on his portfolio and he wanted it done before his leave so he has less to come back to yet somehow its not for his benefit? Even knowing I have severe anxiety and disabilities that mean I need to be prepared?


The difference between a application I made and waiting to hear back is at least I am prepared for a rejection or invited for interview.


Oh and his own words multiple times before we met as well as at the meeting was that the first few sessions were filling in forms and looking at my cv and improving it, nowhere did he say job trial until he mentioned he wanted it done before his annual leave.

BorisThomson

Lots and lots of excuses. Are you going tomorrow or not? Would you like any help in preparing for the interview?