Too much too soon? Work trials

dekaspace

Im careful how I word this as people may think I am making excuses or such but I havc a history of mental health/anxiety issues and a few disabilties meaning been out of work almost 10 years and in and out of education for that period i.e starting lasting a few months and dropping out due to severe anxiety/panic attacks and had no councelling to deal with my issues.


Managed to get a council supported employment advisor, had my first appointment with him Friday where I filled in some forms and on the spot he arranged a job trial for tomorrow with the council!!


I don't even have clothes that fit for the interview/trial, but then this morning he also contacted again with another trial for Wednesday.


Its meant to take 8-12 weeks for job trial, but he did it quicker as hes got annual leave in 2 weeks for a month so it feels he is doing this for his benefit and not mine, don't think hes being rude or anything but hasn't taken into account my mental health issues.


So this may seem like a rant but also wanted feedback on if people thought this was normal or right thing to do with short notice.

elsien

It may give you less time to get anxious about it rather than having it on your mind for weeks.
You can nip to the charity shop for clothes - that's where most of my work wear comes from.
What does the trial involve? How long is it for and what length of day. I think my thought would be to give it a go and see what happens. Then at least it will give you an idea as to what is manageable and what support you need to do it properly? Maybe tell them at the start that you have anxiety so may need to leave or take a break if things get too much?
Good luck with it all, whatever you decide.

dekaspace

elsien wrote: »

It may give you less time to get anxious about it rather than having it on your mind for weeks.
You can nip to the charity shop for clothes - that's where most of my work wear comes from.
What does the trial involve? How long is it for and what length of day. I think my thought would be to give it a go and see what happens. Then at least it will give you an idea as to what is manageable and what support you need to do it properly? Maybe tell them at the start that you have anxiety so may need to leave or take a break if things get too much?
Good luck with it all, whatever you decide.

I am a overweight guy so its hard to find clothes at the best of times, and almost impossible in charity shops.


One trial is just call centre which my experience is in, however due to anxiety in recent years I stutter a lot, other is in IT.

BorisThomson

dekaspace wrote: »

I am a overweight guy so its hard to find clothes at the best of times, and almost impossible in charity shops.


One trial is just call centre which my experience is in, however due to anxiety in recent years I stutter a lot, other is in IT.

Have you been and looked? Lots of people give clothes to charity after weight loss, no reason why they shouldn't have larger sizes.

The employment advisor has been good enough to find you a placement rather than leaving you hanging for a month. That is entirely for your benefit.

If not now, when? What is going to be any different in a month/ three months from now?

[Deleted User]

dekaspace wrote: »

So this may seem like a rant but also wanted feedback on if people thought this was normal or right thing to do with short notice.

No different to employed people getting a job that is quick start as if they say can't be done; the employer just picks someone else who can closest meet their timeframe. Best way is not to be able to think sometimes like they say "you only regret the things you didn't do."

Have you tried supermarkets like ASDA for bigger clothes - only Saturday I picked up a size 20 top that will do for work (only a tenner) after my relax and eat to much last week. Notice they were actually pretty good for bigger sizes.

dekaspace

BorisThomson wrote: »

Have you been and looked? Lots of people give clothes to charity after weight loss, no reason why they shouldn't have larger sizes.

The employment advisor has been good enough to find you a placement rather than leaving you hanging for a month. That is entirely for your benefit.

If not now, when? What is going to be any different in a month/ three months from now?

I have, but I only have one small and very expensive charity shop in my town that charges more for used stuff than is new and is a tiny shop the next towns along only seem to stock ancient clothes and mostly female, I mean they want like £10 for tatty old shoes at all of them.



But let me get some points here
= the companies own policy is work trials don't take place until 8-12 weeks after initial contact to help client prepare
=He only wanted to speed it up as he is going on annual leave
=He himself stated he has never in his 6 years with organisation done a job trial less than 8 weeks before he started with a client just as he stated he is speeding it up because he wanted it done before his annual leave
=One of the reasons for the referral to the service was I have disabilities and mental health issues like severe anxiety because I don't have enough time to prepare for things, knowing this he gave me next to no notice for a work trial.
=Their own policy and what he promised was to meet me and train me with mock interview skills knowing I have been out of work for years and suffer anxiety




And before anyone thinks it, I am greatful for his help, so its not for my benefit in fact im struggling to even calm down enough to turn up, not due to being lazy or anything but severe anxiety.


I dropped out of college before as I couldn't handle the shock to my system so fast and needed practise to calm me and get a good sleep pattern, the same is relevant here as well as I need time to prepare for interview and work trial and only recently am getting my sleep pattern in check.


So the point is lets say he gave me 10 days notice for a interview I could buy some clothes online (cheaper too) calm down enough and have some mock interviews with him and plan best interview skills and not feel overwhelmed, as it is he gave me weekend notice when shops are closed or busy and just came out with it then today tells me of a seperate work trial, but on a slight side note he was telling me that he was happy I picked It and call centre as none of his clients have ever chose it before and it looks good on his portfolio so it goes back to its not for my benefit like him rushing it before his annual leave.

dekaspace

Deleted%20User wrote: »

No different to employed people getting a job that is quick start as if they say can't be done; the employer just picks someone else who can closest meet their timeframe. Best way is not to be able to think sometimes like they say "you only regret the things you didn't do."

Have you tried supermarkets like ASDA for bigger clothes - only Saturday I picked up a size 20 top that will do for work (only a tenner) after my relax and eat to much last week. Notice they were actually pretty good for bigger sizes.

Tried, but the point was if I have already applied for a job I can expect a call/email/text or letter to invite me in at short notice but here I had none of that it was just meeting him for first time and being told before and during meeting it takes 8-12 weeks to get a placement then out of the blue him saying "oh I just realised I have a contact at call centre and they can give you a trial on the spot" whilst so many times during meeting bringing up his annual leave and how he wanted to rush paperwork in.


But Im a man and I must wear a shirt for this, t shirts are easy to find but not suitable.


I have suffered from mental health issues that escalated 13 years ago, before that I worked on and off since I was 15 and times I wasn't I was in full time education, it was the mental health that deteriorated that caused me to be out of work for years.


It would be different if I was told I had a permanent job on the spot starting tomorrow as then I wouldn't have the intimidation of worrying about screwing up or getting tounge tied


Its pure panic its sinple

polgara

Right - you need start thinking more positively. All I can see is excuses - you either want a job or you don't. Whatever the advisor's motivation, their role is to get you into employment.

lincroft1710

Agree with polgara

dekaspace

polgara wrote: »

Right - you need start thinking more positively. All I can see is excuses - you either want a job or you don't. Whatever the advisor's motivation, their role is to get you into employment.

So your idea is to tell someone with MENTAL HEALTH problems to "think positively"


You don't know me so you don't have a right to make that statement


So I was POSITIVE enough to make an effort to find this service


I was POSITIVE enough to go round local employment agencies and sign up.


I was POSITIVE enough to ask for help from occupational therapy and councelling


I am POSITIVE enough to make a slow but stready effort to change my sleep pattern.


I am POSITIVE enough to make small changes to diet to make myself physically and emotionally better.



So you focus on the one thing I struggle with and not the 99% of things I make an effort with.


So as much as I have tried, you see fit to criticise the things I struggle with.


What does that accomplish? Do you tell someone who has put on a lot of weight then started to go to the gym and losing it slowly that they are fat and lazy as they are not thin right now?



Let me tell you things need to work in stages, forcing me into work straight away sets me up to fail, doing it in stages which are steady enough that you see improvement whilst not overwhelming you mean you can adapt and get better whilst doing enough that you dont slide back into old habits.


Thats what I want, not to overwhelm me in one way or not to do nothing so I get zero improvements.

pollyanna_26

Dekaspace while I am aware of your struggles at this moment I would urge you take this up .
You have said many times that things you have tried to access have never been right for you and complained of lack of help . Not long ago you spoke of trying to get into work and then mentioned meeting with the job coach with a view to doing so .
One thing you've often mentioned is you always have savings . My advice would be to get a bus to the nearest Asda or whatever and buy a couple of shirts and a pair of suitable trousers .
I do understand your fears and other barriers but to my mind turning up at the call centre is important to move forward with your life .
I notice you have started yet another thread about your two friends . I've advised you before but will repeat once more you need to focus on your life and future . Everything else is avoidance .
You don't have weeks of anxiety if you attend the call centre , it's one day at a time and if you struggle the first day talk to your person who set it up to see if issues can be dealt with .
Whenever you do training you will need the correct clothes so do it now .
I should clarify regarding my saying weeks of anxiety I meant you don't have weeks of overthinking the situation . I know you'll still worry but this is going to happen sooner or later so do your best to seize the day .
Good luck
polly