Please help, owed money, need it back!!!!

MrsL2004

It just seems completely pointless for him to have done that. It must have cost him hundreds in petrol over the years months. Plus money spent on food and drinks etc. He had money. The only time he didn't have money was when his pay was interrupted. And for constant messaging, every night, talking and laughing, even planning for the future.

It just makes no sense to me at all. It's a huge amount of time effort and money for him to put into it ... for him to probably only be a few hundred pounds better off at the end of it.

If i did call the police, would they be able to tell me if he was known for doing this before? X

MrsL2004

**over the months ... not years... auto correct fail, thank god I didn't waste YEARS of my life on him

poppasmurf_bewdley

MrsL2004 wrote: »

Look. I'm not here to debate whether or not he has lied to me or not. I know he has. This is a very difficult time for me. I am looking for productive comments which might help me get my money back. Trying to convince me that I'm stupid and gullible is not going to help my cause. Thank you anyway.

Have you thought of a Garnishee Order?

See: https://www.creditreport.co.uk/help/jargon/garnishee-order.htm

They're not used very often but they can be invaluable. Years ago, I used one to great effect but they have to be timed right, ie when you know the debtors bank account is loaded!

Good luck.

Candyapple

MrsL2004 wrote: »

It just seems completely pointless for him to have done that. It must have cost him hundreds in petrol over the years months. Plus money spent on food and drinks etc. He had money. The only time he didn't have money was when his pay was interrupted.

It just makes no sense to me at all. It's a huge amount of time effort and money for him to put into it ... for him to probably only be a few hundred pounds better off at the end of it.

Not really. He's actually £1,320 better off for stringing you along for 6 months. Like I said, how do you know that you aren't one of hundreds of other women he may have 'borrowed' money from as well? You don't. You certainly wouldn't be the first woman to be scammed by a man.

MrsL2004 wrote: »

And for constant messaging, every night, talking and laughing, even planning for the future.

That's called love bombing and future faking. Google for more info. It's by no means an indicator that you were anything other than a source of funds to him to hit up (sorry) most of these men are extremely adept at using women, to them it's almost a sport.

MrsL2004 wrote: »

If i did call the police, would they be able to tell me if he was known for doing this before? X

I have no idea how it works but from all the articles I have read where women have been conned they reported to the police and I imagine the police would have a system where they can see if he's known for doing this.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38678089

Did you meet him via online dating?

StopIt

MrsL2004 wrote: »

Maybe I need to go and find him.

Yes, yes you should.


Court is one thing, actually confronting the *expletive deleted* is another.


It may not work out, but I think you need the closure. This isn't about money at the end of the day, but trust. I take no pleasure in pointing out the folly of your situation but I don't want you to think anything other than you realistically have to hope the guy gains a conscience to get your money back.


You've been taught a lesson that nobody should really have to learn

MrsL2004

The garnishee order is interesting. I will look more into that. I do know he is paid on a Wednesday.

MrsL2004

Interesting article about romance fraud. I will report him to the Action Fraud UK people. Yes I did meet him online. Altho as I said, we met very quickly, spent a lot of time together, and money was never even mentioned until the last month. Who knows eh? I'll report him to action fraud. And continue with the online claim. If he doesn't respond I will go ahead and get the ccj sent to him.

In a few weeks time I have a few days without my kids. So I may drive to find him at that point. Could be a waste of time. But I think he's a bloody coward and after 6 months I deserve an explanation.

27cool

You say you want an explanation.
The explanation is that he wanted some of your money, and you gave it to him.
Cowardliness does not come into it.
He just saw you as an opportunity for some easy cash and took it.
Good luck with getting any of it back.

jonesMUFCforever

MrsL2004 wrote: »

Interesting article about romance fraud. I will report him to the Action Fraud UK people. Yes I did meet him online. Altho as I said, we met very quickly, spent a lot of time together, and money was never even mentioned until the last month. Who knows eh? I'll report him to action fraud. And continue with the online claim. If he doesn't respond I will go ahead and get the ccj sent to him.

In a few weeks time I have a few days without my kids. So I may drive to find him at that point. Could be a waste of time. But I think he's a bloody coward and after 6 months I deserve an explanation.

IMO don't go near him - he may turn it round and suggest you are stalking/harassing him.
Leave it to the courts and police.

breaking_free

I disagree with the above. DO go round to see him. He can't go to the police to claim that you are stalking/harassing him until you've done it on several occasions.

He's hoping you'll just disappear. A one-off visit might be enough to let him know that you're not willing to let this go.