KonMari 2017 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

greent

Back from holiday, having left 4 items of my clothing there in the bin (all were very much on last legs - eg: cropped jeans with thighs wearing through) and 4 items of Summery too-small for wearing again clothing of DS3's in a charity bin I found on the last day Also left 4 books in the villa - but did bring one of the ones from there back home (was a shelf of books which you could swap out, as long as you didn't reduce the number there)- which will be heading back out again once read, of course! Used up some hotel and airline toiletries too and 2 bottles of sunscreen. Only things we brought back which we didn't have before were the above mentioned book, a new pair of flipflops for DS1 (his broke on holiday last year and we hadn't replaced them), a small toy for DS3 (tat, but @ 3euro and the only thing he asked for, I can cope!) and a photo we bought on a day out of DS2. Oh - and 2 gift-y things for my mum - one for now, and one towards her Xmas present - but both are consumable Most impressed - and, as a result, we spent very little money in reality (only other spends were food (supermarket and eating out/ icecreams out), entrance to a waterpark, fuel for the hire car and drinks at the airports/ on the plane. But we didn't feel hard done by at all.) We spent 400 euros in duty free on cigarettes for my best friend and her hubby but will obv get money back (the cost of smoking is shocking! - I have no idea how people afford it!). Used euro cash, as we still had so much left (still have more too but will keep that as euros as secondary school trips to France/ Germany seem to crop up at times...)

Since coming back I have also been doing some digital decluttering - I finally unsubscribed from all my old yah00 groups (anyone remember those?!) and closed my yah00 email account (not used in years and years) I have 2 email addresses now - 1 which I use and an old one which is my one from our broadband provider. The older one has lots of subscribed emails running through it, so is very cluttered - so I've been unsubscribing from lots of things (not all of which I remember signing up to...) and will then hopefully be able to see what 'good' stuff comes through there and change it to my other address. (Will still keep old address as linked to broadband acct) Thankfully, unsubscribing is so much easier now for most things! :)Am surprised at how joyful it is

ETA: forgot - also bought antihistamine cream for bites, as DS1 had left ours in his room (where it usually lives as he often uses it for cadet camp) so half a tube of that has also come home

maddiemay

Yesterday saw my first attempt at tidying my very cluttered bathroom for a while, I am fortunate to have a good sized bathroom to myself as OH uses the shower room as his domain, I am allowed in there for a shower and vice versa:D

Several items of now unwanted toiletries and manicure products now bagged ready for splitting between two CS, today I am going to try and swap winter and the rest of the summer clothes over. I will MC summer clothes again when I liberate them next spring, and earmark the winter things to be tried on and the joy test done, probably a few each week rather than in one sweep.

I have mentioned before that I have arthritic hands and have to decant a lot of tubes or hard to use bottles into saved pump containers or jars, the stock of empty bottles and jars has built up again and is a pain to store, so need to have a blitz of them again.

Lovely and sunny here, have a good Sunday everyone:D

oceanspirit

Sale on rellie's house has now completed so new priority is to get our new place sorted out. It has become a dumping ground for some of rellie's things as well as ours. Started on clearing things out and have a few things for CS plus a binbag for tip and approx a binbag amount into recycle bin.

Excess around my middle has finally started to go - hoping it won't take too long so I can make a start on kondoing my winter clothes. Summer clothes have been put in loft for now, which I don't normally do but with OH's things in here until he can camp out in our new place there wasn't space for it.

Charis

Minnie2 you have my sympathies. I also had a husband who didn't think it part of the bargain that he should do anything and I should make him as comfortable as possible. I squandered fifteen years waiting for him to grow up and face his responsibilities. In the meantime I raised our three children and kept house, did everything from cooking and cleaning to decorating and studying at college. Nursery provision was thin on the ground those days. None of those things gave me the self esteem I had lost along the way. Eventually he left me, half way through my college course (in those days we didn't have to pay fees). His reason was that his (single) workmates had more fun and more cash left over at the end of the week.

Without an incentive to change, people don't. GQ was spot on when she said

"Some people spend an unhappy lifetime waiting for other people to change their behaviours. Most adults are pretty set in their ways and seldom change majorly after the early twenties"

Floss

I agree with GQs comment - my ex had always run to his parents for financial help when he had mismanaged his (our) finances. When he had to pay me a four-figure settlement amount as part of our divorce in 2001, the cheque was made out to me from his father's bank account, not his.

Karmacat

maddiemay wrote: »

I have mentioned before that I have arthritic hands and have to decant a lot of tubes or hard to use bottles into saved pump containers or jars.

This! I was wondering why I didn't bother taking my vit D and a few other supplements (I take a herb I was recommended because its powdered, and I sprinkle a teaspoon into my porridge, why not tother stuff?) I realised that the bottles - those sort of oval ones from Boots - they **hurt** to open them. So they're going in a sandwich bag with a clip across the top

GQ - loving the info on PMs, thank you again. I not only have those dratted silver animals to sell, I have a lot of new-to-me jewellery to get valued, so that my house insurance is still valid ...

Oceanspirit - yep, me too, decluttering to implement inheritance (tho to be fair, its all stuff I actually baggsied, as we were sorting stuff out). It's done now, but we have another trip booked before Christmas to do more sorting (and baggsie-ing, and hopefully taking-at-the-same-time).


Minnie you sound frantic, and I'm not sure how much longer you can go on taking all the responsibility for absolutely everything in the house before you make yourself ill. And that kind of illness can take a long, long time to get over. Please recognise that the things people are saying on here are *agreeing* that you're taking on too much, and things need to change. For the sake of your health. If that feels too self centred for you - erm .... how about "they can't learn to take care of themselves while I do it all for them" and how about "I need to give a positive example to my kids of how adults do things?" That sort of self-talk might help you pull things back onto a more even keel.
HTH

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GreyQueen

Echoing Karmakat's comment to minnie.

In an early version of my life, I ran the engine too hard and for too long. On the go for 14 hour days, seven days a week, studying and working, not partying btw. I caught glandular fever which flattened me. It turned into CFS/ME. I also had what the doctor described as a nervous collapse at about the same time; lost over a stone in a week, passing undigested food (tmi at teatime, but I'm being graphic for a reason, if it's shocking it should be because it's real).

That was just over 30 years ago. I never recovered fron ME, although I am much better than I was at my worse, and have never been well enough to work full-time. The consequences of the ill-health caused/ excaberated by stress have been the defining factor of my life, affecting everything, every minute of every single day.

I'm not disclosing this to elicit pity, plenty of people I know have far heavier loads to bear and some of reading us here will be living with chronic illnesses or know those who suffer terribly.

What I'm aiming for is a heartfelt plea for minnie to exercise a degree of selfishness in her dealings with her family, to tell them that enough is enough, and to drive some changes before she wrecks her physical and mental health in ways which will take a long long time to recover from.

If they can be recovered from, and that's not always achievable, as I bear testiment to.

camelot1001

Well said GQ, you do remarkably well having been through so much. If I had a hat I'd take it off to you.

Hope you're reading this minnie!

Floss

GQ...what Camelot said ^^

M.E.

My forum name indicates that I, like GreyQueen, have M.E. which started with flu 30 years ago.
Minnie, listen to your body NOT your head and try to stop chasing your own tail.
If your body crashes because you are wrecking yourself the long-lasting effects will impact your every future moment.
Invest your time and energy into yourself and your children. Play with them, go outdoors with them, read to them, get muddy.
If your hubby and sister notice the difference in you and your children's happiness quotient say that "I have done my chores and am now having me time".