KonMari 2017 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

PollyWollyDoodle

Of course we don't know all the circumstances but it does sound as if your sister is taking you for granted a bit. I think it may be time to put your foot down a bit - tell her she can have X amount of space in the kitchen (e.g. this cupboard/those shelves) and anything else must live in her room. It's your house, not hers.

minnie2

He wont cook in our kitchen because its not manky and usually a mess as theres no cupboard space. but they will dump all their takeaway stuff on the side and leftover food and leave for days until i clear it.the fridge is full of her mouldy leftovers thats shes always going to bin but never does.

minnie2

She has a shelf in the kitchen cupboard and two drawers in our 4 drawer freezer and still uses ours.she has a massive bit of meat in freezer that she won and i ask and ask and ask her to do something with but its still there.i put my daughters name thing on her bedroom door today as her room is actually my daughters room and she moaned.if anything gets put in there she then says where do u want this and i say there coz there isnt anywhere else we have no storage.ive kondoed her room too so here are only some of my daughters toys in there.she has taken over thenwardrobe so my clothes are in a basket and my daughters clothes are in my wardrobe.theres a chair i want to give to mum but she said i cant get rid of it until she leaves

minnie2

Friday we had wedding reception to go to.hubby was at work.sister and fiance were at work i was out with kids we met up at home they went to buy wedding card.i said i am going to buy kids a mcdonalds for quickness and did they want me.to get them something while i was there.they said yes.i did but they havent offered any money do you think i should ask for some? They bought me a wedding card which was £1.but two happy meals cost me £20 basically because i paid for theirs

minnie2

Ive gone into a bit of a moan sorry!! My moaning here falls on deaf ears so thank you!! & sorry!! I say over and over ive just wasted so many hours for it to be undone!! They dont seem to care how long it takes me.i thoroughly cleaned the toilet out last night she moaned at me saying i thought you were going in the bath hurry up coz i want one.i said i was going to but there was so much stuff dumped on the bath i was fed up with having to move it and it never getting sorted that i decided to sort it.son peed on his car seat i cleaned the cusion of the seat and it was there drying but ihadnt done his clothes yet.one of the dogs bed is in bath waiting for a clean too.hubby had a bath dumped everything on the floor then back in the bath meaning that he car seat cover id spend ages washing had been dumped onto clothes still soaked in pee and the dog bed had the pee stuff dumped on it too.more work for me!! So the dog bed that needed a wipe now needs a wash and i have had to rewash the car seat cover.i also had to throw out the carpet around the sink as that's where he had dumped everything and that then stank of pee too.it makes me so frustrated i just cry and cry

Slinky

Oh for goodness sake minnie, they're just taking the pee! (This isn't a pop at you) Sister living with you for 5/6 years, what makes you think they will actually go? They've had it too easy and aren't grateful for what they've got.

Yes of course you should ask for money for the food. Give her the ultimatum, if that meat isn't used by her by the end of next week, you'll use it for yourselves/give it away/throw it away, whatever but it's not having space in your home any longer. Be brutal with your sister, anything belonging to her & him not in it's own allocated space gets dumped in her room. Leftovers included. They're creating filth, they need to deal with it.

Please tell me they're paying you rent.

atypicalblonde

greent wrote: »

Currently in Portugal and hoping the debilitating cough I came with will 'do one' - am feeling run down and have no energy, which is no fun for the kids. My ears are also playing up Will be leaving some clothes behind (deliberately brought some summery clothes which are past it) in the bin. Have brought hotel toiletries with me to use so less small bottles also going back And also brought a spare car booster seat in a suitcase for ds3 to use - much cheaper than hiring one with the car (Ok - was free but even buying one is cheaper!) and I know it's ok. Will leave it with car - have done this before and it works well.

Will also look to use up the part bottles of sun cream but will bin if not finished (Will only be a tiny bit left and would rather start anew next year) I will, however, be bringing back any unused nonperishable foodstuffs
X

Lurker on this thread (normally on flylady and MFW) popping in to say hope you feel better soon greent. We are also currently on holiday, and Ive offloaded a bag of summer clothes to the local charity shop that I knew were past their best and having a final hurrah on this holiday. Frees up space in the check-in case for local chorizo, cheeses and of course the odd bottle of very inexpensive cava which will be thoroughly enjoyed in time.

Before we came away I went what GQ calls 'un-shopping' - taking three huge very heavy bags of things to the charity shop. Returning home empty handed is so liberating, isn't it? xx

minnie2

Since she got a job about a year ago she had been giving me £100 a month but she hasnt for the last few.they are in the process of buying a house so it shouldnt be long......although the first one fell through.

Siebrie

Minnie, I think the kondo magic is working for you. Your sister and your hubby are not sparking joy.

Sister is easily dealt with in that she needs to go and seems on her way out with her fiance. Definitely ask for her to pay her own way, and maybe calculate how much it is actually costing you to let her live with you (rent/mortgage, taxes, electricity, gas), and show her that. Offer that she can make up the difference between what she is paying (zilch) and what she should be paying in chores. For instance: clean bathroom (3 hours and up to YOUR standards) is 25 GBP. Deep clean of the fridge is 10GBP.

Hubby might improve if sis is no longer living with you and the house is less crowded. The throwing everything on the floor seems exasperation rather than ill will.

Go easy on yourself; if your child is prone to wet himself, put him in pull-ups when out and about. It may delay potty training a bit, but it will make a huge difference to you.

I'll think of some more ways to stand your ground and let you know; maybe others can chime in.

Edit: I heard a mouse running in the attic last night! Time to get back up there and put the traps out.

Floss

Minnie, I think you have endless patience. If it were me I would return all her stuff to her room every day, and put all her empty takeaway cartons in a bin bag in there too. If she can leave them lying around in your space for you, then you can leave them in a bin bag in her space for her to deal with. I would probably ask for the rent she hasn't been paying recently to be paid too, as well as cooking the joint and eating it for Sunday lunch!