No "T" words mentioned at all - the continuation thread

fuddle

Thanks for that floss. The greenhouse is fully glazed but many are cracked. It gets buffeted even in the summer here so when they go completely (repair tape on) i'll get thd sheets you talk about.

I know with mil when she left DHs dad she took Jonses and left DH and his older sister with their dad. They moved to Scotland where they led quite a stressed life with him being a disciplinarian. DH has a decent relationship with them even with all that and doesn't like falling out. I have to ensure I do what is right for him and the girls who don't have my mam as a grandma any more. It's difficult for me because if anyone breaks my trust even in the slightest, I cut ties. That comes easy for me. What comes difficult is continuing a relationsnip which I feel isn't real.

I expect she is embarrassed and I do know that she has difficulty saying 'no' to spoilt Jones so maybe didn't have the confidence to say stop, the girls are here. I guess it's time to get my big girl pants on and rise above it for the good of everyone.

There is a bench on the plot. I could do with the space it sits on but it's staying and I intend tying milk bottle planters with flowers over the sides. I ordered some small nursery gooseberry and loganberry(never had one!) which arrived yesterday. I'll get them in today and have a ponder. Thanks floss

Floss

You are welcome hun - when you are sitting & contemplating, if anyone asks what you are thinking tell them you are plot plotting !!

Cheapskate

Fuddle, sorry to hear about your lovely girls being upset by their grandma and auntie, those sorts of things shouldn't be said in front of them, especially when it's about you!! We've had a falling out between DH and his sisters since last autumn (one of them created a problem out of thin air re our son's wedding), which has caused no end of heartache. A couple of them are right with us now, but I have no time for the perpetrator and feel like we've lost most of DH's family, so I know exactly what you mean.

Enjoy your lottie, your hubby and your girlies - that's more important than all the other rubbish!

A xo

LaineyT

Oh Fuddle am so sorry that your girls had to hear that vile stuff being spouted about their Mum, they must have been so angry on your behalf and then had to tell you what had happened.
Just a thought but could the sister be jealous of you, that despite all her material possessions and pretences deep down she knows that you have so much more of what really matters, that you and not her have cracked it when it comes down to the real meaning of life? X

pollyanna_26

Oh Fuds I'm so sorry to read your post . I did think you'd been a bit quiet but you have a busy life . I know your husband has spoken to MIL but a marker needs laying down if not already done so . That behaviour is not acceptable in the girls presence ever whether you or your husband are present or not .
SIL sounds bitter and jealous and cruel to me . You've said before about people not understanding you living a simpler OS life . Allthe bling and stuff in the world doesn't bring the simple love and togetherness your little family share .
MIL is between a rock and a hard place and is taking the easy option which has led to your daughters being hurt . It's hard to think of a balance , I know she was kind and supportive when you lost your mum but she will need to alter her thinking to have any hope of maintaining a relationship in a healthy and trusted way .
I hope something can be sorted for all your sakes .

You're doing well with the veg for winter and I second Floss re the replacement panels . Wise to keep the bench . I do my best plotting and planning of many things while sitting in the garden .
Love and hugs xxxx
polly
Oh and good luck with the jab !

Cheapskate We lost contact with some of the family 8 years ago . It was hurtful but needed so sending hugs your way also x

The sun has finally shown it's face today so I've been in the garden . There are many berries weighing down trees and shrubs and Billy Blackbird is making inroads already . I hope all are well and get some sun in the next few days .
Much love
polly x

Nargleblast

Fuddle - Nowt wrong with being a witch. You have created a home that is a sanctuary, a place of good food and good vibes, and you are at one with Nature, tending your plot and growing food. That is witchcraft of the finest kind.

The girls found out their mum is perceived as being a witch in the unflattering sense of the word, and they have seen their Aunty is a b.... (fill in the gaps as you wish). Such envy and bitterness is to be pitied. Mum in law sounds a bit weak, or maybe she was piggy in the middle? Just be civil to her and let her deal with her guilt in her own way.

There are autumn preps to do, a life to be had for the enjoying, regardless of what your SIL may think - get your Big Girls Pants on, be the adult in all this and crack on!

scottishminnie

Fuddle - come join the other witch over here as my MIL and 3 SIL have referred to me since before I married hubby. MIL tells people our marriage was virtually dead after the first year and I've only stayed around out of spite to make her life a misery. We're passed the 25 year point so that's a lot of time to stay in a miserable marriage out of nastiness I'm afraid that after years of having hubby sit on the fence as he hates confrontation I took a stand and told him either he dealt with the 4 individuals or I would. He finally did but I would have carried it through. Sometimes a line has to be drawn.
Whatever happens I hope you can move on from it soon.

Been a busy week for me - couple of days in London and I'm quite tired today but glad to be home. One of my colleagues travelling with me was a bit frustrated that I insisted on walking quite a bit rather than taking the tube between meetings but I think they are beginning to understand my dislike of being underground. I'd walk a mile above ground before I'd spend 10 minutes down there:o

Looking forward to a relaxing weekend in the garden. It's a lot cooler here , definitely autumnal weather, but dry so I'm happy.

Our friends in Florida are all ok and our home is fine, no damage, which is great news. One of our friends had a tornado spin off in the backyard at the tail end of the storm and once it was over there was something in the corner under some branches which had been struck down. Once it was safe to go out they found it was a bobcat kitten which they think had been in the tree. They were a bit alarmed that mother bobcat may not be far away so they left it be and sure enough about an hour later if was gone. Seems you can have more than a power cut when there is a hurricane!

pollyanna_26

Just a quick one from me , hope all are well and getting into Autumn mode . Fuds things have hopefully calmed down now but I'm sure you'll have made it clear that none of you adult or children will put up with that nasty and bitter rubbish again .
I read about the sock on the Fence but forgot to comment so well done now you just need the other one !
Take care everyone
much love
polly x

fuddle

I've not spoken to her about it. She rang on Saturday and my heart sank with nerves. Nothing was mentioned. She had what I felt was a dig but I'm aware that when I feel 'got at' I'm extremely sensitive to the point where I'll make myself a victim. Its all too near to how I felt being in amongst the games my mam and sister used to play.

I don't want this, I don't need this and because I'm not strong enough to put an end to it, I'm avoiding. What I do know is one day, and likely soon, I will be pushed too far and i'll stand up for myself and then some. I'm no meak mouse when pushed.

I'm just trying to stay unstressed and healthy. Life at home is calm and happy so this nonsense can toddle on out of my mind.

pollyanna_26

If you haven't already try to find a quiet time to talk it through with your husband . I know you're trying to protect him and the girls but it's better to try to find a way to tackle this together before you reach the point of really reacting . If you can come to some agreement together now as to the way forward it could save a lot of future upset . There needs to be a united front against that behaviour and an awareness on the part of your MIL that it isn't right or acceptable .
Better to sort it now and I am angry you keep having to fight these battles due to others cruelty and stupidity . It is very wrong for MIL to blame the girls when at the root of it all is SIL . She sounds a nasty piece of work and if MIL feels she has to go along with her it doesn't bode well for the future .
I hope you're ankle is improving and you get some sleep . You've weathered many battles and I feel for you just need a way to sort this and maybe then you'll get that life you've earned .
Much love
polly xxxx