The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

mardatha

Ivy the gp has referred me to hospital podiatry dept but I don't see myself living long enough to get an appt. Unless that elephant I accidentally et makes me live to 100..

Floss

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[Deleted User]

monna, no not moaning at all, it is what happens unless one lives in a multi generation close family house. Almost every couple eventually becomes one and it happens quite suddenly, when that link becomes weak and then breaks. Then those of us who have never been single, are single possiblyfor the first time since birth. Becoming solo at a later age is very hard, learning on our feet, wanting to remain independent, no-one to ask how to take a screenshot for example. However this is life and you monna, you have that os get up and do it attitude and you do it with a smile.

Softstuff

monnagran wrote: »

kittie, I hope you don't think I'm moaning. Fundamentally I'm a happy and positive person, but I know too well that feeling that you are, suddenly and completely, on your own.

I also know that I am far from the only person to feel this.

Honestly Monna, this is what scares me. I worry that OH and I are too reliant on each other, too insular. At the same time though, I realise we should just enjoy that while we have it, because after all, even if we weren't we could have friends and an outside circle that when, come crunch time, simply weren't there. So we'll too be old, but without any offspring whatsoever.... so hopefully we'll each endure as long as we can, because we're all each other will have.

Mardatha, I'm sure the saying was something about elephants never forgetting, not about eating them causing longevity... but I've had a couple of wines at dinner, and I'm a bit vague.

fuddle

You are all breaking my heart but it's sensible to be real, accept and get on with life. I learned at an early age that we are all just individuals responsible for ourselves while living our own lives. That can be quite an insular outlook but I think, if I dare at my younger age, if you have that understanding as a foundation you can revert to it when you mourn loss, whether that emotional, social, physical or cognitive. Funny that those 4 words are the building blocks we teach tiny ones from when they're born so they can have a full life. No wonder it's a struggle when we lose them as I doubt there's ever an opportunity to learn how to cope until it's arrived.

Aside from Hannah Hauxwell, are there any hermit type women in history who have been successful in other ways?

carolbee

VJsmum wrote: »

LOL (at the song) - my mum went out in her wheelchair for the day a few years ago and ended up like that! Sorry about your troubles

MMF - my mum had a real internal battle before she went into a wheelchair. She asked me what i thought and said "isn't it just giving up?" I said that right now (at that point) the illness (rheumatoid arthritis) had got hold of her and was dictating to her, going in the wheelchair meant that she'd told it "b@lls to this, i'm doing things anyway". She liked that, went in it and never looked back - she went on holidays, days out, could go shopping and had a much fuller life. i should say, though, that my mum was only in her early 60's then. We have just persuaded MiL to get a motorised scooter and she can now go on dog walks with her daughter and out with her baby great grandson... She's not thrilled, saying things like "I used to skip from rock to rock walking up Snowdon" but i just say "Well i used to turn cartwheels down Sheerness high street, but things change. Now if i were to turn a cartwheel, I'd have to lie down for the rest of the day.". :rotfl:

I used to live in Sittingbourne, I wonder who it was used to do that, now I know!!!!128514;

mardatha

Aside from Hannah Hauxwell, are there any hermit type women in history who have been successful in other ways?[/QUOTE]

Julian of Norwich?

silvasava

Hmm - very mixed feelings on the subject of loneliness. In many ways I've had to deal with life changing events on my own without someone to share them with although to the outside world that wouldn't have been the view. It's made me much more resilient and very independent. I have learned that you can be alone but not lonely. I do make a conscious effort to have a wide circle of friends - not necessarily for company but for things to do, to interact with other people and stimulate my mind. I'm also saying yes to any opportunities I can. DH as he gets older is getting quite insular and it does worry me - much as i love my home while I am reasonably fit and active I want to do as much as I can.

[Deleted User]

Me too, particularly when much younger I went through a sadly difficult divorce and learned that people you think are friends are sometimes not what they seem. He Who Knows and I are best friends and spend amicable time together but have totally independent areas of life where we happily go our own way and as much space as either of us need in a marriage to do just that. It makes for a good relationship and also allows self reliance and the independence we both need to be us. I don't need physical people to be happy but I think I'd be a little lonely if I didn't have all of you my online friends to chat to.

nursemaggie

mar I thought the same it would be ages but I got an appointment in just over a week and it was only 3 weeks away. It's the appointment I thought I had yesterday. I'll let you know how I get on.

I don't exactly feel lonely but sometimes too alone. I really miss DS as we have been just the two of us. The other two had left home long before he was born so he was like an only child. I think you develop close relationship with an only child. He's made me see that I was an introvert all along trying to be an extrovert.

My sore mouth and throat are a lot better today.