The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

mardatha

Totally agree with you monna re graves and their ilk. Loved ones are not in a hole in the ground- they are in our hearts and heads and all around us. We think of them and they are there. And the whole haunted graveyard thing is rubbish as well - who in their right mind, after death, would want to come back and hang around a boring old cemetary? I'll be off to a sunny beach in the Caribbean, on a sun lounger. And I'll be in the penthouse suite of the best hotel - and I won't even have to pay! :cool::D;)

MMF007

Well, thursday was the day we scattered my dad's ashes - we walked about 1/2 a mile or so up a mountain path to apoint where he loved to sit and watch the wildlife and the weather and we waited for the mist to lift and scattered. I left him a custard cream and a drop of tea and we rejoiced in the stupendous view and the peaceful spot.
Yesterday we held his memorial event at a local hotel. 45 folk came, chatted, ate and drank. I spoke of his life story and how much he loved the village they lived in, and thanked the many folk who cared about him and who had helped out by ringing/visiting/fetching/carrying in his last few years of poor health, and to whom he was so grateful (as were we all). His 2 young grandchildren impressed everyone when they took it in turns to say something they had each written, and several friends stood to recount funny stories. The whole event was characterised by chatting and laughter and, if i say it myself, we really did him proud.
As we were leaving numerous people said they had loved the informal atmosphere, and that there was nothing maudlin about the whole affair.
I must admit I had to practice my speech to make sure i could get through 2 tiny bits that were the most sentimental but mostly we all recounted what fun Dad was, how generous he was with his time and skills, and how he loved his family and friends.
Do you know what? For a memorial service it was suprisingly enjoyable (weird?). Waiting a few months had got us past the raw grief.

In the evening we had a cold buffet (mostly cheese and pate and a bottle of port!) at home with a few relatives. Many of them had not seen each other for a LONG time. We had an excellent catch up.

The weather has been red hot and sunny for days, although we have had some sea fog in the mornings most days.

The next few days will be devoted to resting, leisurely strolls, and eating leftovers!

VJsmum, what a shame that your Dad's good intentions will likely cause problems in future.

It certainly shows how important it is to make a few careful plans.

Hope the thunder etc soon passes x

maryb

Nargleblast all my thoughts and best wishes go with you

Floss

My parents were both cremated and scattered in the same area of the Crem's memorial garden. I'm wirh Monna on the no grave, no tending thing. DH has been told whereabouts in the Lakes he's being scattered and is very happy...I've yet to decide where I'm going, currently torn between off the sea wall on the South Promenade in our home town and Bamburgh beach:)

Softstuff

Floss, the only thing with South prom is finding a day not so windy you get blowback

I'm so not worried about what happens to me after I'm gone. I wanted to donate my body to science, but after inquiring, don't live within the distance to do so (if I do in the future, they can have the lot). As it stands, my organs are for donation and my brain is heading to the Queensland Brain Institute. The rest of me is set for a quick cremation and no funeral.

The reason mum prepaid her funeral rather than keeping the money in an ISA was how fast the funeral costs went up. We had a few funeral bills to look at and over about 20 years, each 4 or 5 years the cost doubled. I don't know any savings account that'll give you that. To be honest, if she hadn't had the money to pay it, under that circumstance we might have paid it for her.

taurusgb

Thank you for all the welcome messages - only just caught up on the thread because I have been very, very busy spring cleaning. Yes I know it's a bit late, but my DH and youngest DS have gone off on their motorcycles to watch the TT on the Isle of Man, so rather than sit gnawing my nails down to my knuckles while I waited for the text to say they were safely at their camp site :eek:, I thought I would keep busy.



I shall be spending tomorrow packing, unpacking and repacking a small suitcase ready to take myself off on a train journey to spend a few days in York. I am a bit nervous because this is the very first time in the whole of my life that I have been on holiday on my own! As I am 61 and menfolk are away I thought it was time to get a grip and give it a try. :rotfl:

wondercollie

Organ donation is a tricky subject.

Organs can only be harvested for a limited period of time. You often have to be on life support to keep the organs viable.

I used to think that I would donate but I'm not going to. Not even my corneas. I've seen things that make me think twice. We all want to thin that our organs are going to save someone young and healthy.

Well, after seeing 80 year olds in for their fifth cornea transplant, I changed my mind. The transplants failed because they were non compliant with their post op care.

If I die in my bed in my sleep, my organs aren't viable.

I'm selfish. I've seen how many people need and want those organs but the donor pool in my area is getting smaller and smaller. Many ethnic groups will accept organs but are unwilling to donate! This was brought home lately when a family of Vietnamese origin was looking for a bone marrow donor. Very few Asians actually sign up to donate unless their is specific call for their community to donate.

Jazee

I have signed the donor register but they can't have my liver. I don't really drink (yes I know this is not the only reason for livers failing) so I don't want mine going to an alcoholic (despite being married to one). DH won't donate at all but also is very against the idea of receiving too.



Taurusgb, hope you enjoy your trip to York. I will be there too on Tuesday.

mardatha

Taurus I'd give a leg to be able to go to the TT !! You shudd've gone with the hubby and son!

silver-oldie

Welcome taurusgb, I don't post very often, but everyone here is so kind.

Nargleblast hugs, my thoughts are with you

LameWolf enjoy your time with Honey