The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

lillibet_dripping

burtha wrote: »

Hi,
Sorry but after a couple of large glasses of wine tonight , my dear sil and brother turned up tonight with wine , first in a while ... and will probably have a think head in the morning lol , .thank god my family are pulling together through this , don't know what I would have done without them ..... .. and I have managed a cheese sandwich and some crisps tonight
Also did a run at tea time , was a bit fed up , reading posts about the ex going on holiday with gf ... shame he couldn't put as much energy into his kids
His loss ...
Still don't understand how someone can switch off from 20 years worth of relationship and just go ... never mind , can't waste time trying to work that one out ...
Plan on dragging kids somewhere tomorrow ... god knows where but we need to do it ...

Normal service tomorrow xx

From what you've told us, Burtha, he's been 'switching off' for a while, all the time planning how to do it! The quick house sale/work on the house etc. I know from experience, that my ex- didn't 'make a move' until everything for his new life was in place, including a flat, kids bedrooms, the lot!
You are doing so well, my lovely. I echo everything that has been said above - you WILL wake up one day and think that this was possibly the best thing that ever happened to you (apart from the birth of children, of course!!). I know that I wouldn't be the person I am today if I were still married to him - I am now a typical strong, independent woman - and have raised a strong, independent daughter and an understanding son.
You'll get there, I promise!! xxxxxx

Save

Hard_Up_Hester

Burtha I firmly believe that God gave men enough blood to work their brains or their !!!!s but not both at the same time.

burtha

Thanks all,
Well thankfully my head was ok this morning , honestly I am such a lite weight I normally don't bother lol . Was up and out at 8 15 , running 4 miles , the joy of teenagers is they don't emerg till mid morning ...
So back showered then shops before they made an appearance ....
Eldest ds took youngest ds to the pub to watch the match ....
Youngest dd is having a good day ,playing on game thing talking to friends , so didn't want to go anywhere .... but
so have music on quite loud and dancing around doing household stuff ...
only check his update stuff because kids are friends with him , and he's so stupid he forgets they can see it , otherwise I really wouldn't bother ...
but yes early days but know where I need to be and nothing will stop me from protecting mine and the kids future .... shame if I shatter his dreams

Hi to newbie, welcome to the best place to be
xx

monnagran

burtha, PLEASE shatter his dreams, PLEASE do that thing. You will hear the cheers from all over the country if you manage that.
I have to apologise for falling into the trap of urging you forward into the future with encouraging little cries. I well remember how I felt when people did it to me. "Now you can be yourself. You can do just what you want to do.now. You can build yourself a bright future."
The trouble was, I didn't know who I was any more. I didn't know who I wanted to be. I didn't want to do anything at all. The future looked like a long black tunnel and the mere thought of summoning the energy to start building or changing ANYTHING made me just want to crawl into a hole. So take everything I say with a huge shovelful of salt. I, with everyone else on here, am just hoping to give you some hope.
You sound a lot more positive in your last post, treasure these moments, they make it possible for you to go on.

I have been very tired today so apart from getting a load of washing out and dried I've done nothing significant.
I may do nothing significant tomorrow as well.
Because I can.
Because I. LIVE. ON. MY. OWN.

Just boasting.

nursemaggie

monna You do not have to be ON YOUR OWN to do what you like.

I have done nothing much but knit and watch some catch up TV. I planned dinner yesterday. luckily it was two chicken slices they are called but more of a sort of pasty. DS was very late today, I think nine hours when you are working for free and on a Saturday, is too much. Anyway he went to look round the Aldi shop next to the warehouse. He came home with a fresh version of what I was planning. Good job I did not take mine out of the freezer. His has a few mushrooms in it.

MMF007

Floss I see your DH is a Liverpool fan. I am an Everton fan, by marriage :rotfl: :rotfl:

We had an excellent meal with our friends. I knew they would love the food at the venue
We had a good catch up but got talking about how we will all hit our 60's within the next 7 years. It's a sobering thought, given that we were at University together!
They are like us, have a very small house, have worked fulltime since Uni and saved as much as poss. Now spending on travelling and 'experiences' rather than possessions (yep, I contribute to the Magic of Tidying thread, decluttering ). It seems like only yesterday we were discussing moving into our first homes and learning how to DIY.

OK, mustn't panic! I am classed as middle-aged and i feel young :rotfl:

burtha

I hear you Monna ...
God knows I don't really no where to start , but have worked to hard to let everything slide away , ready to kick some butt ...
Getting my head around finance stuff , doing all the stuff as a single parent , scary but need to do it ... how can I crumble when the kids need me , never going to happen ... whatever happens we are going upwards
So change of image slightly to more me , fake confidence but hopefully can pull it off till I am again ...
Long journey but he will not come out on top .... kids will be sorted , life will be better , don't know how long it will take him to realise but I don't care , it is to late now ....
Xx

nannywindow

Burtha You go girl, take the wind out of his sails good and proper. Loving your attitude. Sharpening my javelin, just in case !

burtha

Christ , I even apologised to the bank manager today , every time I have seen him in the last few weeks I have been in tears ... not today , ... best to get him on my side :rotfl: just in case ....
But he has been lovely ... think I have found someone in banking with a heart lol

monnagran

Burtha, everything today seems to be looking up. Loving your bolshie attitude and I could hug that bank manager.