The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

Islandmaid

Burtha

Massive Hugs and a stiff drink from me - I had the same 16 years ago, as they say A woman is like a tea bag, you don't know how strong they are till you put them in hot water x

It's awful now, but you will come out the other side and have some big shoulders to cry on here xx Take care of yourself, and your kids x

MMF007

Burtha, that's awful. So sorry to hear. You are in shock but please, please take legal advice NOW before agreeing to anything.

I don't suppose it will help much but, if you don't mind I'd like to send you amassive virtual hug (((((0)))))).

M

karcher

Burtha I am so so sorry for the hurt, pain and betrayal you are feeling now. Please look after yourself and know we will always be here to support you xx

[Deleted User]

You're still in freefall BURTHA love and that 'carpet out from under your feet' feeling is dreadful BUT you will find firm ground eventually and you are a strong and capable woman so this is a 'blip' in life not the end. There will be a new life because you'll make one, you'll make it even better than what is ending and you and your family will be stronger and closer than ever before. It will be a different life and a different future than the one you saw a few weeks ago but that doesn't mean it will be a worse one, it might be immeasurably better in so many ways because when you are used to this new life that has been dealt you , the life you make will be of YOUR choosing, will have in it only the things that YOU want and although it might not be as materially comfortable it will belong to YOU and no one else, there is a satisfaction in that that overrides much of the pain and hurt that you currently have to bear. Head up girlie, YOU CAN DO THIS xxx.

VJsmum

So sorry to hear that, Burtha

You will need to grieve, don't deny yourself that. The advice to take legal advice is good, please make sure you do.

thinking of you

mardatha

Well pet, if he can do that to you then best get rid of him, then you might meet a better one. He'll do the same to her - or she will to him. Karma is always hiding behind a door waiting to jump out and flatten people like that. You stay cool and get you and the kids sorted out properly so he can't do any more damage or wriggle out from under his responsibilities. Sending you love & strength pet xx

camelot1001

Oh burtha, I can't imagine how you are feeling but am sending you my love.

As others have said, take legal advice and look after yourself. Much love.

fuddle

Well he's a bit rubbish and rubbish, burtha, no one needs. Go with your emotions because in doing so you will gain the resolve to deal with what comes your way.

Think as positively as you can because, lets face it, when all those angry, hurt and numb feelings go - there will be positives to living your own life, pleasing yourself.

Drat burtha, ruddy drat.

lillibet_dripping

Burtha,
I'm so sorry to hear your news. I echo everything others have said before me. I remember so well the feeling of utter shock and helplessness but mostly I remember the fear of the future and the 'what will happen to us now?'
Rest assured that you WILL get through this AND come out the other side and you will be a much, much stronger person.
Hang on in there and when the shock has worn off a little, get some legal advice (or CAB) and don't make any major decisions until your head is a little clearer.
Sending you love and strength .......

monnagran

burtha, can I underline what lilibet says - dont make any big decisions too soon.

This happened to me 2 years ago, not a marriage but overnight I lost my home, my life, my best friend, and my future.
Just like you I never saw it coming, didn't ever think it could happen so I do know the shock, darkness and emptiness that you are feeling.
I also know that you will be reliving things, trying to make sense of it. Well, there is no sense so don't bother with that.

Go inside yourself and do whatever you have to. Sob, scream, pull the duvet over your head and break your heart, rage and talk about it to anyone you feel comfortable with.
Nothing will make you feel better but at least it can't make things worse.

Just occasionally you will feel able to live in the moment and think, "actually, just right now, I feel OK." Those moments will become more frequent and gradually, horribly gradually, things will start to get a bit better. You won't realise it until you look back, but I promise you they will.

Do not. DO NOT, allow yourself to be pushed into something you're not comfortable with. While you are so emotionally vulnerable it's easy to go along with something that you regret later.

It's all about you now. You will do your best for your children but the future is theirs. I believe that they are not tiny tots so you don't have to pretend with them. Share your grief and you will be able to support each other. Don't try to force their relationship with their father, that is between them and him, Encourage, but try not to blame.

I'm talking too much. Just want so much to comfort you.
Two years down the line I am beginning to feel more like me. It will happen for you however impossible it may feel at the moment.

So much love, burtha. Stay in touch.

x