The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

[Deleted User]

Speak for yourself Monna, I'm worse than I used to be (or do I mean better?) growing up is for other people, grown ups have no fun whatsoever.....Let's party on....and on....and on.....

monnagran

Nargle, If my memory serves correctly, which it probably doesn't,  being a bit flaky these days, the army was formed to march on Scotland and sort out mar's heifer of a consultant.
The details are a bit foggy after all this time  and my octogenarian brain (had to get that bit in) struggles to remember the finer points, but I know it featured steel colander helmets, sharpened rolling pins, dustbin lid shields and handknitted chain mail armour.  It is also where the heffalump made its first appearance.
I also believe that the heffalump was inadvertently left behind when hostilities ceased, only to be mentioned in reference to heffalump sandwiches, heffalump burgers, heffalump kebabs and leftover heffalump in mar's freezer. 

Excuse me, I must lie down and mourn the passing of said heffalump.

Nargleblast

Perhaps the heffalump is an ex-heffalump, but there's always......Son of Heffalump!

pollyanna_26

Nargleblast said:

Perhaps the heffalump is an ex-heffalump, but there's always......Son of Heffalump!

No just no! There could be hordes of them. I'm beginning to feel I'm banging my head against a brick wall. Monna has mentioned the grey thing six times in one post. She used to be so lovely. I'm beginning to suspect some have been taken over by aliens.

I have added the mincer reference from Mar to my dossier of evidence.

polly

[Deleted User]

The original heffalump who was inadvertently consumed in Ecosse had a twin brother who went to stay with Softstuff and GQ had to send Nursie down there because of a slight contratemps which led to an indiscretion and that forced the Heffalump whose name is Eric to return to the UK.  I believe at one point he was blown up as a hot air balloon and a huge basket hung from his legs to transport some of our number to the Isle of Wight but memory may be playing me false here.  The thing I do remember though in the proposed defence against the Zombie hoards was dustbin lid shields, rolling pins wielded by stoutly muscled cooks and what was sharpened was TOOTHBRUSHES!

Nargleblast

That sure was a bad batch of moonshine Madarthur brewed up that time, the heffalump nightmares continue to this day. She thought she would avoid prosecution by changing her name to Ming Vase, but you know what thought did!

[Deleted User]

We shouldn't have let him drink quite so much of it, poor Heffalump, nightmares are so hard to cope with!  Mind he still fantasises about the cocktail cherryonnastick that came with it! 

pollyanna_26

MrsLurcherwalker said:

The original heffalump who was inadvertently consumed in Ecosse had a twin brother who went to stay with Softstuff and GQ had to send Nursie down there because of a slight contratemps which led to an indiscretion and that forced the Heffalump whose name is Eric to return to the UK.  I believe at one point he was blown up as a hot air balloon and a huge basket hung from his legs to transport some of our number to the Isle of Wight but memory may be playing me false here.  The thing I do remember though in the proposed defence against the Zombie hoards was dustbin lid shields, rolling pins wielded by stoutly muscled cooks and what was sharpened was TOOTHBRUSH

I remember the inflatable rlephant . I think the flyladies sent us that. At some point we had one of the Discworld elephants which left the inhabitants walking on a slant. I worried for my favourite Sam Vimes and also dear Nanny Ogg. I'm beginning to think Nanny Ogg may have returned as a combination of Hester and Monna!

It's harder still to keep track because both the Tougher thread at that time and The SHTF thread were involved. One clear memory is entrusting Mar with our emergrncy chocolate hoard after she begged me to let her keep it safe while sounding very contrite and vowing to change her ways.. I think everyone can guess how that ended.

polly

[Deleted User]

Of such things dreams (or nightmares) are made eh?

VJsmum

I won't miss the Heffalump, truth be told, he got in the way....