Daughter taken out of school.

Spendless

tawecdl wrote: »

Can anyone advise if there are rule regarding term breaks when home schooling? I have a feeling she will not do any education over the summer holidays as other daughter is not at school. I see this as a opportunity to catch up with what she has fell behind with.

There isn't. Times and dates are up to you as home educator. I can think of one poster who HE and her kids didn't tend to have hols off, but the days they did study were shorter than a schoolday, so it pretty much evened itself out and there was always the option of taking a break for longer if needed.

I'm not against home education per se, the best education mine have ever had has been 1 to 1, when I've paid for private tuition. Mine are in the school system, but I've paid at times when I've felt it needed for whatever reason (not grasping classroom work, subject not on curriculum etc), but this isn't what's coming across in your thread, it seems you believe that what will happen is your child will stay at home and not do anything much education wise. That's the concern you need to be making not that it doesn't adhere to a school timetable.

Geoff1963

I was "home educated" by my parents, and I think I ended up with some reasonable qualifications. However, this was in addition to, rather than instead of, state education ; just home education, sounds like a very difficult job. As others have said, learning to socialise, is as important as learning the subject ; there are few jobs for a hermit.

I think the response depends very much on the form of bullying, and where in the process ( travel, class, break times ) it occurs. Is she being picked on for a "difference" that ought to give her legal protection ? Growing up is about learning to cope with the adult world, when it isn't so severe ; bullying also occurs after leaving school, so learning how to deal with it, can be helpful.

Loz01

Sounds frustrating OP but if you home school you don't have to abide by any normal holidays/school days. My neighbour home schools and her kids don't have any set days/times for anything they just do as they please and go shopping and play out and go on holidays as and when they like, theres no rules regarding it from anyone. Obviously it will be a fun experience at the moment for your daughter, ask any 12year old if they would like to stay home all day and obv most would say yes. I'd just be worried about her getting in the same learning as she would at school. (Not saying she should be sent back to a school where she is bullied, BTW)

TBagpuss

Guest101 wrote: »

The short answer is you cant.


Just like you have rights, so does she. So you want to do things your way and she her way. The only thing you can do is seek a court order.


That said, there is no law requiring children to be registered in a school, so you need to show that the education the mother would provide would be insufficient.

Actually, this is not quite correct. It's true that you both have parental responsibility so she can chose to remove your daughter from school without your prior consent.

However, where there is a disagreement between two people about how to exercise parental responsibility, either of you can apply to court .

The application would be for a 'Specific Issue Order'. As the name suggests, this is where you are asking the court to make a decision about a specific issue. In this case, whether your daughter should be home-schooled or not and (presumably) which school she should attend if she is not home schooled)

If you want to go down this route, then it would be sensible for your to do your research, so that you were in a position to put a specific, thought-through proposal to the court.

e.g. to include:
- which school you propose your daughter should attend
- that a place is available there for her
- what enquiries you have made with the school, and what steps they will be taking to ensure that your daughter doesn't get pulled back into the cycle of bullying, and how they would support her if it did reoccur
- how any practical issues will be resolved (e.g., are there any practical issues such as transport which will make it more difficult to get to the new school, and how do you propose they are addressed)

Before you get to that stage it would be sensible to ask your ex whether she is willing to met with you, to discuss her proposal to home school. If you are not already past that point, try to make it non-confrontational, explain that you would like to better understand how she sees this working in practice.

If she agrees to meet up, listen to what she has to say, and ask questions.

For instance, is she planning to work with your daughter towards taking GCSEs. Has she looked into costs? Which things is she planning to teach herself, and how is she planning to cover other subject?Has she found a homeschooling group locally? Does she have plans for ensuring that your daughter does take part in some 'out of school' activities or activities with other home schooled kids so she has a peer group.

You could also do some research to see whether there are any support groups for parents who are home-schooling in the local area, and whether any of them would be willing to meet with you, or indeed with you and your ex together, to share their experiences (good and bad) .

if your ex has thought this through and has good plans in place, then having these conversations may help you feel more comfortable with the plan, and even to think about what you can bring to it. If she hasn't, then constructive questions and information from people who have been down this route may help her to understand what she is taking on and whether it is the best thing for your daughter.

tawecdl

TBagpuss wrote: »

Actually, this is not quite correct. It's true that you both have parental responsibility so she can chose to remove your daughter from school without your prior consent.

However, where there is a disagreement between two people about how to exercise parental responsibility, either of you can apply to court .

The application would be for a 'Specific Issue Order'. As the name suggests, this is where you are asking the court to make a decision about a specific issue. In this case, whether your daughter should be home-schooled or not and (presumably) which school she should attend if she is not home schooled)

If you want to go down this route, then it would be sensible for your to do your research, so that you were in a position to put a specific, thought-through proposal to the court.

e.g. to include:
- which school you propose your daughter should attend
- that a place is available there for her
- what enquiries you have made with the school, and what steps they will be taking to ensure that your daughter doesn't get pulled back into the cycle of bullying, and how they would support her if it did reoccur
- how any practical issues will be resolved (e.g., are there any practical issues such as transport which will make it more difficult to get to the new school, and how do you propose they are addressed)

Before you get to that stage it would be sensible to ask your ex whether she is willing to met with you, to discuss her proposal to home school. If you are not already past that point, try to make it non-confrontational, explain that you would like to better understand how she sees this working in practice.

If she agrees to meet up, listen to what she has to say, and ask questions.

For instance, is she planning to work with your daughter towards taking GCSEs. Has she looked into costs? Which things is she planning to teach herself, and how is she planning to cover other subject?Has she found a homeschooling group locally? Does she have plans for ensuring that your daughter does take part in some 'out of school' activities or activities with other home schooled kids so she has a peer group.

You could also do some research to see whether there are any support groups for parents who are home-schooling in the local area, and whether any of them would be willing to meet with you, or indeed with you and your ex together, to share their experiences (good and bad) .

if your ex has thought this through and has good plans in place, then having these conversations may help you feel more comfortable with the plan, and even to think about what you can bring to it. If she hasn't, then constructive questions and information from people who have been down this route may help her to understand what she is taking on and whether it is the best thing for your daughter.

Thank you, this is actually what I am doing at the moment. I have spoken to daughter and she want to go to school but I think her mother has a new job meaning she wants daughter to babysit her other son while she is at work. The school my daughter wants to go to is full, but I have found one with places availabe.

Mother does not want to discuss anything, she stated she has bought her 3 gcse books, (english, maths and science) and she lets her research the internet "what more can I do?" she said.

I am extremely concerned now, there appears o be more to this than I don't even know, so that being said I am applying awaiting a reply from the school in question (they had nearly 30 places available in Feb this year) and I will go down that route.

I am still in shock how social services and educational welfare are not 0.01% interested in my side of things, they stated that it is her mothers decision. I thought there would be checks in place or something but it appears any parent can take their children out of school for whatever reason and whenever they want.

I will not stop persuing this, I very much doubt a judge will allow this but you never know. I need to continue with this school application, ensure my daughter is on side then the second mother tries to put a stop to it I will apply for specific order with the court.

She knows her stuff she really does, stating things like "that school is not practicle" etc. any secondary is practicle when there is a bus going straight to it.

Does anyone know the cost of the court process? can I represent myself?

Fosterdog

It's been a while since I went through the family court system with OH for access to his kids but I believe it was around the £200 mark to apply to court with you self representing.

I'm pretty sure you have to go through mediation first (or at least show willingness to attend if she refuses). Search for family mediation in your area. I don't know the cost of mediation as OH got funding for it and his ex received legal aid so didn't have to pay. I know our local one does an assessment first and will try to secure funding from a relevant organisation, only if there is no funding for the particular circumstances for your mediation do they then charge.

When filling in the court paperwork it is important to remain factual rather than emotional.

I'd love to say OH had a good outcome but he applied for a contact order (4 granted but all ignored with no consequences for his ex) a specific issue order for his ex changing kids schools too often (she changed their schools just before the firs day in court so judge said pointless to move them at that stage as they were settling so no need to grant the order) and a prohibitive steps order as she had threatened to leave the area with the children. ( She lied to social services, CAFCASS, and the judge and told them no intentions to move, all believed her so judge also said no to the order as not needed. Less than a month after the final court date she took them out of school and moved them to the other side of the country). I don't mean to put a dampener on your plans, just want you to have a realistic understanding of how these things can go based on my experience. OHs ex just outright lied about lots of things but was just believed even when her stories kept changing. This was six years ago so hopefully there have been some improvements in the system since.

FBaby

I think there are different issues here and you need to separate them:
- Holidays: If she is going to be home schooled, she is going to adopt a completely different format to learning so going away during term time is irrelevant and has already advised, this should be the least of your concern.

- The issue of bullying: If the situation is so bad that it requires her to be removed from any form of formal schooling, then I would strongly advise a referral to counselling. My concern would be that DD experienced some issues with socialising (very common at that age) and her mother blew it out of proportion. School is not just about studies, it's also about learning to evolve in a social group. For some kids, this comes naturally, for others, it is a more painful process. However, it is still an important stage of life and taking her away from it could have some serious detrimental impact on her later life. What is your view of what has been happening? Is the bullying a recent event or something she's experienced since primary school? Have you been involved with the school and do you agree that the matter has been poorly dealt with?

- The issue of her mum potentially using her as a childminder. You need to be careful about this as you could be blowing the situation out of proportion BUT, it is totally unacceptable that your DD should be expected to look after her 3yo sibling for hours on a regular basis. If that is indeed the case, then I think you need to tell your ex that if it doesn't stop, you'll have to report it.

- The standard of education she will receive at home with her mum: I agree with the above suggestion, the best you can probably do considering the lack of communication from her mum is to provide some tutoring during the week-ends she is with you. Not fair that you should have to pay for this, but at least this will give you some understanding of her progress (as tutor will be able to assess) and some control over it.

tawecdl

Am I able to apply for a school as a parent with PR. She lives with her mother, but am I amble to make the application and sign? The application form states

“Parent/Carer address: (including postcode) at time of application.”
“What is your relationship to this child:”
“Do you have parental responsibility for this child?”

TBagpuss

Yes, you are able to make the application.
In terms of applying to court, details of fees are available here https://formfinder.hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/ex50-eng.pdf. It would be £215, less if you qualify for reduced fees.

You can represent yourself but I would strongly recommend that you do get some proper advice.

You are normally required to have tried mediation before applying to the court, so a reference to mediation now might be wise. If your ex attends mediation then you can try to discuss things with her, if not, you will ned to get the mediator to sign the relevant portion of the form (most will charge for this, typically around £40-£50 but that may vary by location)

Geoff1963

Can a decision to home school be reversed quickly, if things aren't working out ?
Could parents decide they are going to home school their children, have a two-week family holiday to start the bonding ; and then realise that in fact state schooling is best, and resume that ?