Daughter taken out of school.

chesky

Does your ex work?

tawecdl

chesky wrote: »

Does your ex work?

she does work part time but I dont think she does many hours.

She has a partner who is full time and I would expect him to be on an average wage (higher than minimum wage but only by £1 or £2 p/h more)

Fosterdog

Would you be able to get involved in her home schooling? Even if it's just for a few hours a week or in subjects you are stronger in than her mother.

Sit down with your daughter and try to find out if she has any idea what she wants to do with her life (but be reasonable at twelve she may not have any idea) if she has a chosen career path or field she wants to work in do research with her into the education levels and qualifications required to get there and use it as a way to either get her to want to go back to school or as a way to help with subjects she learns.

FBaby

I really feel for you. You are absolutely right to be concerned about your ex home schooling when she hasn't herself finished school.

It sounds like her decision to home school has been made on the basis of not wanting your DD to go to school rather than thinking she can do as good of a job.

Does it mean that she believes your DD is likely to be bullied in any other school? Why? If she has a problem that will impact on her wherever she goes, maybe she needs to consider the reasons for it rather than closing herself away from kids her age.

If I were you, I would take it through the court. Even if they agree with your ex, at least you would have done everything in your power to provide your DD with a proper education.

[Deleted User]

I've just read through the thread and like another poster, I'm shocked your ex can just remove your daughter from the school system and home school so easily...

Yet try taking your daughter out for a week in her early years to maybe go on a holiday and it's a total no-no...

If I was you I'd seek legal advice first and take it from there...

Doody

In Home Education, the parent's role is more to facilitate learning, rather than teach everything themselves. There are resources in great number from support groups, to online schools, individual tuition packages and real life activities in great number organised nationally and locally.

Why not ask your ex what research she has done and how she plans to approach your daughter's education?

I can understand your alarm if this is a new world to you, but it could be a very good thing.

I've just come back from a camp for home educated youngsters. There were young people of all ages and it was inspiring to watch them negotiate rules for games, to see the older teens getting involved with the younger ones. They had social skills far more relevant to life outside school.

The teens who had grown up home edded were doing a variety of things; college, university, working in different fields and generally were showing great coping skills with various issues that cropped up.

Sicard

^^ to this. I have always preferred life skills over education but this is probably down to my own circumstances.

I left school at 15 in the 60s with no qualifications. I'd also failed the 11 plus. Over the course of my life I worked in various jobs and ended up as a foot messenger in advertising. I worked my way up the ladder to run my own studio. When I changed career again I trained and became a psychotherapist. When I retired I became a writer. I'm not blowing my own trumpet but merely pointing out sometimes too much emphasise is placed on education. Sometimes parents unconsciously feel a need to place their own lost ambitions on their kids.

Don't forget that assuming you want your children to go to university they'll have the weight of a huge debt on their shoulders until well into their 40/50s.

My mum brought up 4 kids virtually single-handed and we could all cook, wash clothes, iron and all the other life skills by the age of 13.

Good luck.

pinkshoes

As a teacher, one of the most important things at this age is building relationships with peers.

If she is going to be home schooled, then she needs to be attending several other social groups such as scouts/guides, a sports club etc...

If yur ex is adamant that your daughter will be home schooled, then you need to sit down with your ex and ask her to show you the full program that she will be teaching your daughter, and make sure she is doing it properly.

I am all for home schooling, but only when there is NO other option e.g. Local schools are awful!

meer53

IMO i would do my best to ensure your daughter continues in school. My daughter was bullied between the ages of 13 and 15, the school helped to an extent but it only stopped when we involved the Police. Some of the bullying was outside school hours, a lot of it on the internet but some was face to face. It was the most difficult time for me, i'm a single parent, but at no time did i ever consider taking her out of school. She had good friends at school, some she'd known since she was a toddler and removing her from the daily contact with them would have been a mistake for her emotionally. I also felt that taking her out of school was giving in to the bully and i wasn't prepared to give this girl that satisfaction.

OP, if you're not happy that your ex is doing this for the right reasons, fight it all the way.

Doody

Schools are very limited by the NC which changes according to the whim of politicians. A young person who has the opportunity to follow a path of learning that really interests them will do far better.

Your daughter may well find herself in a thriving home ed community. My family are grown up now and I have lost contact with what is going on locally. We had groups doing the activities laid on for schools by museums and galleries etc, we had social groups that were also the basis for educational activities and so much more. we went away together on residential weeks and weekends. Socialising was NOT a worry. I say this because this is one of the biggest myths about home ed. It isn't HOME education, but community based education. In addition there are of course so many community activities that a young person can be involved with.

Out of interest I had a look at local groups last night. My goodness. They do so much now.

Of course this is dependent on location, but you might well be surprised in a good way.

I'd urge you again not to instantly reject the idea. From a negotiating point of view this isn't helpful anyway. Talk through with your ex about her plans. Don't be surprised if she has built in some recovery time. Known in that world as 'de-schooling'.

The skills one needs to cope with being with another thirty odd people of ones own age are not necessarily the social skills one needs in later life.