When is infidelity infidelity?

System

What actually is facetiming? Does it mean meeting up with her on the sly?

glentoran99

avogadro wrote: »

What actually is facetiming? Does it mean meeting up with her on the sly?

Video Calling

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

How many times has he gotten naked whilst Face Timing with this woman?

Geoff1963

Does it matter if something bad, is more or less bad than something else ?

GBH isn't tolerated, simply because murder is worse.

maman

glentoran99 wrote: »

Infidelity is in the eye of the person on the receiving end, If the wife finds it unacceptable then it is

Personally I don't think the definition matters. What's important to me is that she finds it unacceptable and he's getting something from the relationship with this woman that's missing in their marriage.

NeilCr

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

If it feels like an affair to the betrayed spouse then it's an affair.

Nope

If I go out for an after works drink with one of my female colleagues (completely innocent) and my partner (not that she would) decides that is somehow an affair - it isn't

onlyroz

NeilCr wrote: »

Nope

If I go out for an after works drink with one of my female colleagues (completely innocent) and my partner (not that she would) decides that is somehow an affair - it isn't

But if you went out for an after works drink with a female colleague, but told your wife you'd gone out with a male colleague, then, innocent or not, it suggests that you know your partner wouldn't be happy about it.

maman

NeilCr wrote: »

Nope

If I go out for an after works drink with one of my female colleagues (completely innocent) and my partner (not that she would) decides that is somehow an affair - it isn't

I completely agree.


But (just using your example), if you were out regularly having a drink with female colleagues and never socialised with your partner then I'd be asking questions about the relationship (with your partner that is). The colleagues would be providing fun and company and conversation that somehow she wasn't. That's what would worry me more than having a strict definition of an affair.

maman

onlyroz wrote: »

But if you went out for an after works drink with a female colleague, but told your wife you'd gone out with a male colleague, then, innocent or not, it suggests that you know your partner wouldn't be happy about it.

That comes back to my point abut problems in a relationship, if your partner was unhappy about you having a drink with a colleague of the opposite sex then it would worry me. The fact that instead of talking through her jealousy/insecurity you lied about it isn't helpful it just compounds the problem IMO.

Mojisola

debsue wrote: »

A friend has discovered that her husband has been flirting with a random woman he met on FB. This has been done over messenger and has been going on for a while.

She knew that they were chatting but had no idea that it had become flirty, she has now discovered that they are facetiming when she is not home.

NeilCr wrote: »

If I go out for an after works drink with one of my female colleagues (completely innocent) and my partner (not that she would) decides that is somehow an affair - it isn't

But the friend wasn't worried about her husband chatting with this woman - so it doesn't sound as if she's neurotic about other sex friendships - it's only since he's starting being more secretive that she's worried.

Combine the secrecy with the move from messaging to facetime and I would be concerned as well.