Money Moral Dilemma: Should I agree to pay my mum more rent?

Aced2016

Edwina_May wrote: »

Wait till they are older and actually at work, and if you have boys, quite possibly eating you out of house and home:rotfl:

silvercar wrote: »

That is the first difference in view points. I don't think it a luxury to be able to provide a home for my children.



but you haven't done that, if you need to rely on your children to supplement your living costs!



sounds to me like it is, or why would you be charging them?



They will cope well, mine certainly do. They can see the values that we have, in providing a home that is always welcoming to our children. Making sure we can cover our own costs without relying on others. We made the choices on where we live and I wouldn't consider passing on any of the costs of that to my children.

I fully agree with this :T

Mojisola

Aced2016 wrote: »

I just feel adults need to make more provisions for themselves and their budget.

Unless those adults are your working adult children who can expect to have their living expenses paid for by their parents? :rotfl:

Aced2016

Mojisola wrote: »

Unless those adults are your working adult children who can expect to have their living expenses paid for by their parents? :rotfl:

No not at all ! They'll be living in their family home, which will cost me the same amount wether they're there or not. My council tax is the exact same price wether they're there or not. Using my broadband that will cost the exact same if they are there or not. They will be in a room which would other wise be sitting empty. They'll have a shower and use a couple of plug points. They will tidy their own rooms, buy their own clothes, toiletries and material goods and specific foods.

So no they won't be getting kept by their parents at all. I suppose if I was to really cost it I could charge them each £3.00 a week for electricity as that's all they're going to cost me. I'd buy veg and packs of potato, meat etc anyway so no difference all bar a small amount which I wouldn't pursue. So I cannot justify charging my children rent as there's no cost to me as you can see ! And like I say they don't rent from me I am their parent and they are welcome to live in their home, which I chose to buy and chose to have them.

scd3scd4

Fireflyaway wrote: »

My parents never charged me to live in the family home and I will never charge my child. I think its a weird and quite unfriendly thing to do. If an adult child decides to make a contribution that's great ( and I'd hope they would offer) but a parent actually asking for money? That's your child. Next we know parents will start presenting their kids with an invoice upon their 18 th birthday. £5000 for nappies and milk, £4000 for shoes and school uniform, £8000 for food, £2000 for haircuts, £3000 for laundry services, £5000 for causing parent to get up at an antisocial hour......
As you can tell I think its wrong. I worked with a woman who was fed up with work so reduced her hours and then promptly asked her son to increase his 'rent' to make up the difference.

Naaaa.............we put our girl through 5 years education after 16. 2 years A lever, 3 years degree. She never paid for anything, ever. Including phones and going out.


Then she finished Uni, went to work as a nurse and was earning 30k with over-time. She can give her mum £50 a week. While still having her favourite meals cooked and cloths washed and ironed and me used as a mini-cab. A little appreciation never did any harm. She got a big shock when she moved in with her boyfriend!

Thrifty_Spender

You & your mum need to work the household overheads. If you do not learn to understand how much it costs to live you are going to get a shock when you do come to stand on your own feet

GSXRCarlos

pay it, or move out!

next!

svain

silvercar wrote: »

That is the first difference in view points. I don't think it a luxury to be able to provide a home for my children.



but you haven't done that, if you need to rely on your children to supplement your living costs!



sounds to me like it is, or why would you be charging them?



They will cope well, mine certainly do. They can see the values that we have, in providing a home that is always welcoming to our children. Making sure we can cover our own costs without relying on others. We made the choices on where we live and I wouldn't consider passing on any of the costs of that to my children.

And there it is!! :T .... In a nutshell and blows all attempts of justification out of the water.

If you are charging more than a respectful nominal its nothing more than lining your own pockets no matter how its dressed up!!

gettingtheresometime

svain wrote: »

And there it is!! :T .... In a nutshell and blows all attempts of justification out of the water.

If you are charging more than a respectful nominal its nothing more than lining your own pockets no matter how its dressed up!!

Well I know for me, until our son came back, I was considering going onto a water meter.


I'm glad I didn't as he seems to spend his life in the shower !


Perhaps when we have the next similar thread after he's moved out I can comment as to whether I was lining my pockets!

happyinflorida

You've asked the question so there must be a reason for you asking.

Can your mum afford to continue taking £100 or is she struggling financially?

Can you afford to pay the increase or will it make things difficult for you financially?

Are you trying to save towards buying your own place and will this extra £100 put a big dent in your savings as it adds up to £1200 per year?

Talk to your mum as to why she's increasing, even though you've not had a salary increase.

ThriftyWoman

I'm stunned by the selfishness of anyone who expects to only contribute £50 per week or even less to household expenses - including rent, bills and seemingly food, washing etc. I gave my parents all my wages - £3 per week, when I started work at 15 over 50 years ago and they gave me 38 pence back for pocket money but paid for my clothes & bus fares. I got a £1 per week rise a year later which I kept but I then paid for my own clothes & bus fares. This was normal practice for young people starting work. I was also more than happy to do my share of housework.