The Nice People Thread, No.16: A Universe of Niceness.

GDB2222

SingleSue wrote: »

He doesn't accept digital cards or presents, nor does he accept Moonpig cards.

There was one year the boys spent hours designing a Moonpig card including a fully personalised and specially created poem plus got him an Amazon voucher as they thought he would love it as much as I do (guilt free book buying in my case).

Ex was telling everyone the boys hadn't got him anything as (in his words), Moonpig cards and Amazon vouchers do not count.

He is rather awkward. (I wrote childish, then changed it. Oops, that's let the cat out of the bag!)

Jackmydad

SingleSue wrote: »

He doesn't accept digital cards or presents, nor does he accept Moonpig cards.

There was one year the boys spent hours designing a Moonpig card including a fully personalised and specially created poem plus got him an Amazon voucher as they thought he would love it as much as I do (guilt free book buying in my case).

Ex was telling everyone the boys hadn't got him anything as (in his words), Moonpig cards and Amazon vouchers do not count.

I'm always pleased to get anything at all from people who have "remembered" me for whatever reason.
In other words "It's the thought that counts"
(I really do think that incidentally)

So I wouldn't even think about somebody who doesn't appreciate anything they receive!

LydiaJ

SingleSue wrote: »

He doesn't accept digital cards or presents, nor does he accept Moonpig cards.

There was one year the boys spent hours designing a Moonpig card including a fully personalised and specially created poem plus got him an Amazon voucher as they thought he would love it as much as I do (guilt free book buying in my case).

Ex was telling everyone the boys hadn't got him anything as (in his words), Moonpig cards and Amazon vouchers do not count.

What a numpty!

DD's favourite card ever was from Moonpig. I had lost the recipe for her favourite kind of chocolate pudding, which had been a favourite of LNE's too. We knew that DD's godmother had had the recipe from him, so we asked her to send it to us. What we didn't realise was that she had it in LNE's handwriting. She scanned it and uploaded it to Moonpig and sent it to DD as a card. Several years later it's there in our kitchen amongst the recipe books.

SingleSue

Childish yes although he sees it as standards. He believes less thought goes into a card done online even though the boys spent far more time and thought into producing that card than if they had bought one from a card shop.

He was lucky he got a birthday present this year after 'shaming' some of the presents the boys got him for Christmas.

Pyxis

I have mixed feeling about i-cards.

I think they can be fine for someone you know, but aren't really close to, and who isn't a close relative.

Indeed, I have sent them myself to various acquaintances.

From very close relatives, though, I suppose I'm a bit old-fashioned about it.


However, I was really hurt one year on getting a birthday i-card from one of my (grown-up) children, especially as it said "To Pyxis" and not 'To Mum'.
Knowing the person concerned rather well, it smacked very much of "Oh bother! I have to send mum a card! Oh bother! Oh well, I'll just send her a i-card"..... tap tap tap tap tap......."Good, that's that done" and promptly forgotten.

Besides which, it is nice to have a physical card to put on the mantelpiece. Even if you print out an i-card, it's not the same, and if you get one delivered, it won't be handwritten and signed.

These days I ignore my birthday (and Mother's Day and Christmas) otherwise it'd be too sad. Won't go into details.


I didn't know that there was the scope for designing your own card, though, so I suppose that does make it a lot different, and of course, a lot more personal, as you say, more personal than a shop card.:A

LydiaJ

SingleSue wrote: »

Childish yes although he sees it as standards. He believes less thought goes into a card done online even though the boys spent far more time and thought into producing that card than if they had bought one from a card shop.

He was lucky he got a birthday present this year after 'shaming' some of the presents the boys got him for Christmas.

I'm not sure I'd call it childish. Children don't usually have "standards" of that kind. I'd call it arrogant, entitled, and/or narcissistic.

Anyway, whatever he thinks of whatever the boys do or don't do in their relationship with him is Not. Your. Problem. Any. More.

If he's foolish enough to whinge to his friends that his sons have sent him nothing and to imply that this is in some way your fault, then some of the friends will see straight through him, and if there are any that don't, then their misguided opinions are also Not. Your. Problem. If he is even more foolish and complains to the boys, I imagine they're capable of standing up for themselves.

SingleSue

Pyxis wrote: »

I have mixed feeling about i-cards.

I think they can be fine for someone you know, but aren't really close to, and who isn't a close relative.

Indeed, I have sent them myself to various acquaintances.

From very close relatives, though, I suppose I'm a bit old-fashioned about it.


However, I was really hurt one year on getting a birthday i-card from one of my (grown-up) children, especially as it said "To Pyxis" and not 'To Mum'.
Knowing the person concerned rather well, it smacked very much of "Oh bother! I have to send mum a card! Oh bother! Oh well, I'll just send her a i-card"..... tap tap tap tap tap......."Good, that's that done" and promptly forgotten.

Besides which, it is nice to have a physical card to put on the mantelpiece. Even if you print out an i-card, it's not the same, and if you get one delivered, it won't be handwritten and signed.

These days I ignore my birthday (and Mother's Day and Christmas) otherwise it'd be too sad. Won't go into details.


I didn't know that there was the scope for designing your own card, though, so I suppose that does make it a lot different, and of course, a lot more personal, as you say, more personal than a shop card.:A

The Moonpig card is an actual card that is sent in the post. They have templates that you can personalise and add your own verses, photos etc to.

He got irate because it wasn't actually signed by them with their actual own hands with a real pen.

Jackmydad

SingleSue wrote: »

The Moonpig card is an actual card that is sent in the post. They have templates that you can personalise and add your own verses, photos etc to.

He got irate because it wasn't actually signed by them with their actual own hands with a real pen.

There's a word. . .
But fortunately it eludes me! :eek:

SingleSue

LydiaJ wrote: »

I'm not sure I'd call it childish. Children don't usually have "standards" of that kind. I'd call it arrogant, entitled, and/or narcissistic.

Anyway, whatever he thinks of whatever the boys do or don't do in their relationship with him is Not. Your. Problem. Any. More.

If he's foolish enough to whinge to his friends that his sons have sent him nothing and to imply that this is in some way your fault, then some of the friends will see straight through him, and if there are any that don't, then their misguided opinions are also Not. Your. Problem. If he is even more foolish and complains to the boys, I imagine they're capable of standing up for themselves.

You have to remember that this a man who sees himself as a proper father. No idea how he gets that idea but in his mind, spending 2 hours a year in their company (at most, youngest hasn't seen him for two years and although the other two saw him briefly last year, an hour or so each, it had been a two/three year gap) and sending Christmas and Birthday cards makes him a real dad.

Pyxis

SingleSue wrote: »

The Moonpig card is an actual card that is sent in the post. They have templates that you can personalise and add your own verses, photos etc to.

He got irate because it wasn't actually signed by them with their actual own hands with a real pen.

I'm sure there must be the technology to enable someone to write and sign something in their handwriting and for that to be used on the i-card thing? If that isn't an option, it should be!

That would be a good compromise, and be great with a personalised card.

There is something special, though, about knowing someone has picked a card, written in it, and stamped and posted it.
I know, I'm a dinosaur!:D

(And deffo not criticising your boys, Sue, not at all. Your boys' situation is very different from that of my offspring!
It sounds like they gave it a lot of effort and thought!)