The Nice People Thread, No.16: A Universe of Niceness.

Pyxis

michaels wrote: »

Doesn't work: 'If you throw my school shoes away mum will just buy me some new ones'

No, no, no, you've got it wrong! They have to live with the consequences! They go to school in the wrong shoes and get told off. Or worse. That's what happens in the real world.

It takes nerves of steel, I admit.

I remember once, my sprog, needed new school shoes. Their own were threadbare. Literally.

Went to shop..... strict school code re. shoes......... sprog moanin' and groanin' that didn't want those, wanted these (not school code).

Mother warns, carry on moanin' and groanin' and we leave shop sans any new shoes.
More moanin' and groanin'.
So, up sticks and left shop.

Sprog has to go to school in threadbare shoes.
Gets told off.

Sprog thinks again.

Result.

SingleSue

My first night on my own in the house after doing the final and belated drop off at uni today.

It's been a very stressful time since the beginning of September when Josh got news that he had been terminated as a student after everything went incredibly wrong for him last year after he made the decision to move out of halls and live completely independently (something we were told he would be unable to do....as it proved to be, sadly) for his second year.

Unfortunately the move out of the more supportive halls meant his mental health took a dip and his Aspergers went out of control, deadlines were missed and modules failed. As he became more to type Aspergic, he buried his head, cut off contact with everyone and just got worse and worse....he finally broke in around April in a very painful phone call home and we got the uni involved and we thought, got things sorted for him to resit the year, get the support he had been missing (not completely down to the uni, Josh played just as big a part in this as he became more cut off) and get him back into halls for this September.

You can imagine our shock then to get the email at the beginning of September to say he had been terminated with no warning. An appeal hearing was held 3 and a half weeks ago, decision given to us a week ago that his appeal had been upheld but there was still a question around whether he was fit enough to return this year, thankfully, a meeting on Wednesday decided that he could if he felt ready and hey presto, drop off today!

I'm too knackered to feel the impact of empty nest right now, I've cried far too many tears over the last month or so, spent far too much money on getting to meetings, travelling far too many miles and having to concentrate far more than I am able to...I even lost the ability to speak (part of my chronic fatigue when I overdo things far far too much)

Pyxis

Oh Sue....... big hugs.
And more big hugs.


What a dreadful time.

Now it's time for you. Stay in bed all day if you want to, or just read, watch TV and let your brain flop.
I expect you'll need at least a week of that, just to recharge your mental and physical batteries.

:A :A :A

ukmaggie45

Oh Sue, what a dreadfully worrying time you've had. :eek: Thank goodness it's sorted out now. But it must have been so very wearing for you, as well has horribly scary for Josh too. _pale_

Big hugs, and what Pyxis said - rest, rest and rest.

silvercar

Oh Sue! Another example where your efforts show real results!

Do make sure the student loan company know he is resitting the 2nd year or they will reduce his final term maintenance for this year. He should automatically get his loan extended for the next year as funding is on the basis of course length + 1 year, to allow for resist situations, but they need to be told.

michaels

Pyxis wrote: »

No, no, no, you've got it wrong! They have to live with the consequences! They go to school in the wrong shoes and get told off. Or worse. That's what happens in the real world.

It takes nerves of steel, I admit.

I remember once, my sprog, needed new school shoes. Their own were threadbare. Literally.

Went to shop..... strict school code re. shoes......... sprog moanin' and groanin' that didn't want those, wanted these (not school code).

Mother warns, carry on moanin' and groanin' and we leave shop sans any new shoes.
More moanin' and groanin'.
So, up sticks and left shop.

Sprog has to go to school in threadbare shoes.
Gets told off.

Sprog thinks again.

Result.

That would require teamwork and shared objectives in the parenting

zagubov

Sue that sounds dreadful! All kudos to you for sorting it out with such a positive outcome.

LydiaJ

Oh Sue!
So very sorry to hear how tough it's been, but all credit to you for getting through it to the right outcome, especially having to deal with all that for Josh while at the same time helping Joe get ready for his big move.
As Pyxis says, rest now. Rest as long as your body tells you to. One day, you will unexpectedly find you have some energy, and then it will be time to start a little gentle progress towards creating a new life for yourself as an empty-nester (well, a term-time-only-empty-nester, anyway). But try to resist that gung-ho mind of yours that will probably try to make you feel guilty about resting.
I've like listening to audio books while driving or doing housework, and recently I've been listening to this one. It has some interesting stuff about rest, and feeling guilty about rest, in one of the later chapters.

SingleSue

Thanks everyone, it has indeed been a very stressful time for all of us.

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

:hello: :hello:

Weather turned a bit carp lately.... Not looking forward to winter.