Mum lent me some money for 3 days - Get phone call from HA threatning police?

Dialation

Hi,

I'm not sure what to make of this situation but I will explain it as best as I can...

Last night around 9pm (Which my mum has always said was an ok time to visit) I asked my mum if she could lend me some money until Saturday - which she said was fine - and at 12am when the money went into her bank we went to get it - it was around £60 and I asked her will she still be ok until saturday with what she has in there.

She said yes that was fine - so she proceded to lend me the money - and she was ok mood wise and there was no argument or anything of the sort.

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Today at about 11am I get a phone call from the housing association saying my mum is going mad about coming late and taking her money (Which as I say was not late - she was fine with everything last night - and the money is a loan as agreed - and i will be paying the whole amount back to her Saturday as agreed - that has not changed.

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I wish it wasnt relevent but my mum does have mental illness so one minute she can be normal and with it - and the next - well probabbly how the housing association woman from where she lives saw her.

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The housing association woman (And it is the same HA i am with as well) - Basiclly has a massive go at me saying im taking my mums money and coming at all sorts of times (Which I did not) - And that the neighbors don't like it - and if it happens again she will be rining the police.

I tried to explain what had happend and how everything was fine last night - and that I did not take her money at all - she lent it to me - and she is still getting it back Saturday.

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It was even all writen down what we was getting and what she is getting back saturday because my mum wanted me to so she knew - which is the same amount she lent me and was agreed to.

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Now I am worried the police are going to turn up at my door - to I don't know what - I imagine they will also have a go at me and warn me off - when I do not even know what I have done wrong.

As far as I know - asking someone if they could lend you money and them agreeing isnt illigal?
Especiialy when I have not changed anything - even with all this going on - I will still be giving it all back on the date we said (Saturday)

The HA woman would not even listen to me - even when I said you do not even know the full story - she just kept saying next time ill be contacting the police - it was nice speaking to you.

What she was saying I did is not what happend at all - Even when explaining I got nowhere.

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I would also like to add here - there was no threatning behavor by either of us - so its not like I somehow got her to lend me it like that (I would not anyway) - But there was not so much as a raised voice - or even a disagreement of any sort - as I say - everything was fine last night.

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I'm not sure where I should stand on this - both legally and emotionally.

Any help or advice would be highly apprechiated.

Dialation.

[Deleted User]

The police won't be coming to see you.

Pay your mum back on Saturday (earlier if you can) and get a receipt from her.

marliepanda

Your mum has a mental illness. You know her moods change.

Therefore don't lend money off her. She clearly isn't made of money, as she had to wait to get the money from I assume benefits and you were concerned that she may not have enough til saturday.

Emotional, Leave your mum alone and fend for yourself.

Legally, no the police aren't going to get involved

StopIt

Don't borrow from your mum.


Honestly there's no other solution.


Head to the DFW boards also, if you're in financial distress you need to be looking at other ways to get help than using your mum as a PDL facility.

Dialation

I was asking her to make sure she was still ok until saturday as I do care about my mum - I just fell on hard times this week - usually I do not need to borrow anything from her.

Also I am sure it is not unheard of people asking their family for help if they needed it.

But yes I am still paying it back as soon as possible.

Candyapple

I second the advice from the post above. If you are in that dire straits that you need to borrow £60 for 4 days, you need to head over to the DFW boards and post up a statement of affairs and organise a budget.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

You should be able to budget your money accordingly and not use your mum as a stopgap payday loan lender.

Candyapple

Dialation wrote: »

I was asking her to make sure she was still ok until saturday as I do care about my mum - I just fell on hard times this week - usually I do not need to borrow anything from her.

Also I am sure it is not unheard of people asking their family for help if they needed it.

But yes I am still paying it back as soon as possible.

Yes, however most people wouldn't be doing that if said family member had a history of mental illness which could cause situations like this to happen.

Or, they would have some savings put aside / use an overdraft / sell possessions / ask a different family member or friend / use a payday lender.

Chapuys

Dialation wrote: »

I was asking her to make sure she was still ok until saturday as I do care about my mum - I just fell on hard times this week - usually I do not need to borrow anything from her.

Also I am sure it is not unheard of people asking their family for help if they needed it.

But yes I am still paying it back as soon as possible.

My mum has mental health issues and she gets mighty annoyed at my eldest brother (who is 38 btw) asking for money. She is annoyed to death with it, however, when he comes calling she gives it to him politely. She doesn't want to see him suffer without money even if she has to suffer without it. She wouldn't tell my brother she needed it to pay her rent, she would just give it to him. Took me a long time (15 years) to convince her to let him fend for himself.

Now I'm not stating you have made your mum suffer but look at it from an objective point of view. You arrive late at night (10pm is late) and you get your mum to go out at 12am (which is definitely late) to get money for you just after she has been paid herself. You didn't even wait until the morning for this. I would be annoyed to leave at 12am to get someone money which I could get at a respectable hour. Also, just because your mum says it will not push her into hardship, doesn't mean it won't push her into hardship. She may not want you to feel bad or to let you be without like my story above states. Most people pay the majority of their bills when they get paid. The fact the Housing Officer called means she said something to them about it. I would check if she is struggling silently with something.

In the end, you will not be arrested by the police unless there is a repeated pattern to it over a period of time. E.g. you are taking advantage of your mentally ill mum for financial gain. As someone else states, get a receipt when you pay your mum back.

Dialation

I will at least go and appologise for all that happining. - I am by no means perfect so I don't always make the right decisions - But I will talk to her (not late this time) and see if I can sort things out between us.

And as I say I will be paying the whole amount back saturday (So hopefully that will make her feel a bit better as well)

Dialation.

StopIt

Dialation wrote: »

I will at least go and appologise for all that happining. - I am by no means perfect so I don't always make the right decisions - But I will talk to her (not late this time) and see if I can sort things out between us.

And as I say I will be paying the whole amount back saturday (So hopefully that will make her feel a bit better as well)

Dialation.

Good call.


And head to the DFW boards for help with budgeting, including saving an emergency fund, help with any debt you may have and general financial support.


It's a friendly bunch down there, honest!

Dialation

It's not that I don't think they are friendly - Its more - if a week like this ever happens again it feels like I will have to magic money out of nowhere - and I don't see how thats possible haha.