First wife wants to take control of ex husbands funeral

Bath_cube

HI all. This bank holiday weekend I have been to see family in Sheffield ( where I was born and raised) and a cousin lost her husband a fortnight ago. He was 12 years her senior and they had been wed for 17 years next month. He had been married previously to meeting my cousin and had two children who are now 30 and 32 respectively. My cousin intends to carry out his wishes for the funeral and she told me that he mentioned a while back if he were to die he did not want his ex to attend his funeral or wake as she caused the marriage to end by cheating on him multiple times. However his son and daughter insist that she attends with them and is involved with the planning. His ex works at the local council run crematorium and cemetery although my cousin says the funeral will not be held at that particular one, it will be at another two miles from the one his ex works at instead. My cousins husbands ex wife called to see my cousin 3 days after he died and asked if he had made any will legal or otherwise and told my cousin that the house she lives in might not necessarily be going hers to stay in. His ex also asked to see any policies or life assurance documents insisting he had one drawn up whilst married to her for a large sum and it should go to her children. My cousin told her to keep her nose out and that she no longer is the next of kin etc but his ex says she will get a solicitor involved. The house is paid for with no mortgage remaining and his ex is aware of this. My cousin has the deeds in a safe back at the house. Can his ex wife cause trouble for my cousin and would she have to leave the house and his children get any policy and the property?. His ex tells my cousin that his family are on her side and think she should attend the funeral and the children get everything that he owned. My cousin isn't a very assertive 37 year old and I fear this woman and her children will get their way. What can my cousin do?. Is it just hot air the ex is talking or does my cousin really need legal help quickly?. Any advice from anyone who has experienced a similar situation is welcome.

Yorkshireman99

Did the deceased leave a will? If not the ex wife has no claim on anything. The ex wife has no legal right to organise the funeral.

Bath_cube

Thanks for replying to my post yorkshireman. From what my cousin has told the family it doesn't sound like her husband had made any sort of will or left any written instructions. Maybe she thinks because she was his first wife and had children she has a bit more authority.

TonyMMM

If he left no will then the rules of intestacy apply and your cousin (if she was married to him) will get the estate(up to £250K) and any more would be split between her and any of his children. The ex-wife would be entitled to nothing.

https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

There is no fixed legal definition of next of kin, your cousin (as his wife) and his children are his closest relatives. The ex-wife is not legally a relative of his at all once they divorced.

In practice - who registered the death ? They will have been given the "green form" that authorises a funeral director to dispose of the body -and therefore are in the best position to make the arrangements.

But like all family issues, it may be best to have to be some compromise on both sides.

jackyann

I picked up 2 things from your post:

1. Whatever the legal situation, your cousin needs someone on her side to support her emotionally (relative or friend). Although it sounds as if the legal situation is clear, who knows what 'paperwork' might get unearthed, so if he can afford it, a consultation with a solicitor might help her see her way clearly, and give her some confidence.

I understand that attendance at a funeral cannot be prevented,but obviosuly the 'wake' is private. I would think there is some old friend or reliable relative who could broker some sort of compromise, and maybe you could help this lady decide who to approach.

2. You have put some identifying details in your post, which I imagine you didn't mean to. I would use the edit button to take out the location, the exact ages (adult children would do).

Bath_cube

I spoke to my cousin on the phone this morning to ask how she is doing and the funeral is next Thursday. She has found a written will in her husbands wardrobe and it states she will keep the house and any savings or policy payments. She tells me it is a DIY will eg one you can buy from a post office or stationers. It was written by her hus band then signed by what would appear to be two people he knows as friends. My cousin went to a local citizens advice yesterday and they told her she is the legal next of kin and that as long as any estate comes to no more than half of a million pounds her husbands ex or grown children can't try to sue her for a share. As I'm aware their house is only worth just under one hundred and forty thousand pounds and any savings or policies combined would be less than thirty thousand pounds according to my cousin. Her husbands daughter lives with her partner and they took out a mortgage to buy their own house two years ago. The son went back home to live with his mum last year after splitting with his partner and mother of his young son. His son who is the grandson of my cousins husband doesn't live with either parent, his ex partners mum got custody of the child earlier this year due to social services being involved in previous incidents. Could either of her husbands grown up children try to make a claim against my cousin?. Citizens advice tell her they could have a try but would probably in all likelihood have no success because it's not a large estate and the children wouldn't get legal aid to do so.

Bath_cube

My cousin registered the death at the local council offices as is normal procedure.

thorsoak

One other thing: if the ex-wife claims that she has a will - that will have been rendered invalid by his marriage to your cousin. In England and Wales, a will is rendered invalid upon the marriage of the Testator. The will that your cousin has found will be the valid one.

Bath_cube

Thorsoak. I doubt very much the ex would have a will. She cheated on him many times and if any will was made during that marriage I'm sure he had it changed on divorce. Good job I'm off this week as my cousin has phoned me four times today as she has given me consent to post about her case on here. She has had a call from her husbands daughter who tells her that when her mum divorced her husband she doesn't think it was a clean break divorce and therefore his ex could have a claim to half of the property my cousin lives in. The ex kept the house they lived in on divorce and my cousins husband sold a over seas holiday property and took savings to enable him to buy another property and this was done through the courts. It sounds to me as though the ex wants to upset my cousin even more. And if my cousins husband didn't want her at the funeral shouldn't she accept that her wishes or wants no longer apply.

gettingtheresometime

Does your cousin have an answering machine?


If so I'd tell her to permanent have it on so that she can return the calls she wants to take and delete the ramblings of anyone she wants to ignore.


Also, and it may also be worth your cousin getting a copy of the deeds to see if there is any sort of charge on it (just in case ex isn't talking rubbish)


I also don't think the ex would attend the funeral but you may want to talk through what is to happen in the event that she does.

Yorkshireman99

Bath_cube wrote: »

I spoke to my cousin on the phone this morning to ask how she is doing and the funeral is next Thursday. She has found a written will in her husbands wardrobe and it states she will keep the house and any savings or policy payments. She tells me it is a DIY will eg one you can buy from a post office or stationers. It was written by her hus band then signed by what would appear to be two people he knows as friends. My cousin went to a local citizens advice yesterday and they told her she is the legal next of kin and that as long as any estate comes to no more than half of a million pounds her husbands ex or grown children can't try to sue her for a share. As I'm aware their house is only worth just under one hundred and forty thousand pounds and any savings or policies combined would be less than thirty thousand pounds according to my cousin. Her husbands daughter lives with her partner and they took out a mortgage to buy their own house two years ago. The son went back home to live with his mum last year after splitting with his partner and mother of his young son. His son who is the grandson of my cousins husband doesn't live with either parent, his ex partners mum got custody of the child earlier this year due to social services being involved in previous incidents. Could either of her husbands grown up children try to make a claim against my cousin?. Citizens advice tell her they could have a try but would probably in all likelihood have no success because it's not a large estate and the children wouldn't get legal aid to do so.

The CAB are wrong about the half million. There is no such limit. What date is the will, before or after the divorce?