We can't afford to live together and have children

kelpie35

JPB156 wrote: »

What sort of plans do you suggest?

Do you actually want to live together?

Do you actually want to live life to the full?

If you can truthfully answer these two questions, then you have your answer.

I know that I could not live with someone like you who worries about the smallest thing.

I do realise that you are taking responsibilities seriously but you need to draw a line under where the worries stop and the enjoyment begins.

euronorris

Erm, not really sure what the problem is here.


We survive on just my salary (£28k), for myself, hubby and 10 month old daughter. Rent is £695 per month. I pay into a pension for him (not a lot, but it's something), and we save a little each month.


Would love to have a £40k deposit, and would snatch up any opportunity to buy a property.

meer53

Here's a thought. OP and girlfriend move in together in dream home. Girlfriend can't stand OP's constant moaning and worrying about "what if......" and leaves him. Not beyond the realms of possibility going on his posts on here.

My point is, no-one knows what life will throw at you, so, to coin a common phrase.... JUST DO IT !

JPB156

When I'm thinking rationally I agree with what is being said but I know I get anxiety sometimes and this is one of them.

It's self confidence as well, I feel it's such a nice house that it's too good for us and so we must be stupid for thinking we can afford it. I know this has held me back in my job aswell, I worked up to team leader but doubt myself to go any further. I have got myself on a list for something called cognitive behaviour therapy so hopefully thats the first step

warby68

If you have so much fear about a fairly normal life move, how on earth have you made a firm decision to have children?

Having children is MANY times more scary than buying a flipping house!

If it goes wrong, you can sell a house, children are forever.

BucksLady

Try to have a little confidence in yourself . Remember that 'positive things happen to positive people'

pollypenny

JPB156 wrote: »

When I'm thinking rationally I agree with what is being said but I know I get anxiety sometimes and this is one of them.

It's self confidence as well, I feel it's such a nice house that it's too good for us and so we must be stupid for thinking we can afford it. I know this has held me back in my job aswell, I worked up to team leader but doubt myself to go any further. I have got myself on a list for something called cognitive behaviour therapy so hopefully thats the first step

Is this dream house a mansion or something?

If you and fianc!e love each other you'd buy an 'okay' house to start with. That's what most people do.

Anoneemoose

I cannot believe this thread is still going with what seems like the same repeated advice again and again.

I have only read this last page, so apologies if I'm wrong.

OP, you need to start living, not just existing.

arbrighton

Loz01 wrote: »

This is true but sometimes it is VERY difficult to actually move out. I'm 30 and I still live with my Mum, pure and simply because of the fact Im saving but can't afford to buy anywhere. Don't assume everyone my age is kicking back loving their life, I don't want to be here aged 30, its kind of embarrassing! The OP seems to like to dither a lot but it doesn't mean him and his girlfriend enjoy living home in their childhood bedroom.

But the whole point is he can bloody afford it.

And how have we had another three pages of this dithering today?

Angry_Bear

JPB156 wrote: »

I keep looking at worst case, which is our pay never goes up, apart from maybe pay rises to cover increasing costs of other bills, and that during the first 5 years the variable rate we will be on will go above what I could see as our limit of 9% and stay there for the rest of the mortgage

For the record, I don't believe this is a realistic scenario - I fail to believe that interest rates could rise about 9% (implying that inflation has risen quite dramatically) but that there hadn't been at least enough rise in the minimum wage to affect your salaries.
Even more that that, to go with the "and then you can't sell" scenario you were worried about - this rise in interest rates would have to be accompanied with a dramatic crash in the housing market to put you negative equity. I just can't see any realistic situation where that could happen.

You also seem very worried about repossession. Mortgage lenders rarely repossess - especially in the case of negative equity (as they'd lose out too). They tend only to repossess if the owners are burying their heads in the sand or seem genuinely unwilling to come to an agreement. It is in their interests to find a way to bend over backwards to find a way for you to pay your mortgage - as long as you engage with them.

And what realistically is your alternative? Do you wish to live with your parents forever? Renting is likely to cost a similar amount to a mortgage but then you are at the mercy of rent rises in future. Do you somehow believe that house prices will fall (or even stagnate) and that somehow you will have enough money saved to be able to buy without extending yourself so much? You ask whether it's sensible to buy now, but you don't seem to have really though about what your alternatives are.

The point I'm making is that your concerns and worries are neither reasonable or proportionate, that's why people are getting frustrated with your responses.