When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Toni'sfriend

Have to agree with everyone else. This is all about control. Do what is best for you and the children. The more independent you are the better

enthusiasticsaver

I would have to agree with the others. If your OH does not want you to take that job it is because he wants you dependent on him. Think of yours and your kids futures.

tori.k

Congratulations on the new job,
As hard as it will be for everyone to settle into a new routine at first, they soon will. You have done amazingly well to pay off debts from your tiny budget, but the extra income would make a massive difference. Run the numbers in the turn2us.org benefits calc and then check the snowball calc to see what difference it would make to your debts, your debt isn't huge just huge for your income this could make years worth of difference to your debt free date.

pennywisepoundstupid

Honey I'm not telling you what to do and only you know the real ins and outs of your relationship but some of what you say about your OH does sound like emotional abuse, please read the link, there is help out there for you.
https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/arguing-and-conflict/what-emotional-abuse

XSpender

Congratulations on the job. What a great opportunity, going back to a job at a place you know and like and having a choice of hours to fit around your family.

Having a regular income of your own may help reduce the stress caused by your current financial situation.

I think you do a brilliant job raising your kids and reducing the debt on a limited income.

UncannyScot

Hidden
What folks have been saying regarding control has struck a chord with me.
I agree, this is about control, he needs you to need him.
The truth is, you don't...
You prove that on a daily basis.

You are a fantastic and inspirational young woman who puts her kids first every time.
(((((HUGS)))))

GeorgianaCavendish

Hidden, I've got so much respect for you. You are doing an amazing job of looking after your kids, all that delicious cooking from scratch, keeping on top of the debt payments and finding ways to earn money etc and handle all the curveballs that OH's poor decisions throw your way. I honestly don't believe that anything would suffer from you having a job, except perhaps OH's ego.

I'm sure you will make the right decision, sounds like your mum would be a good person to bounce ideas off re: the best hours to take. And it sounds as though whatever contract you choose, you'll have the summer holidays to get ahead on any life admin before this job starts.

I know this can't be easy but keep the faith in yourself and everything that's been said here: YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN WHO IS DOING A BRILLIANT JOB OF RAISING HER KIDS. Don't let anyone else convince you otherwise.

Hiddenidenity

Thank you for all your replies

I think I will take the 24 hour contract. If I'm going to be working the 24 hours anyway I might as well get the benefit of 24 hours in the holidays too

Still need to speak to them though because O still has a couple of appointments that will be in work hours and won't be able to be moved out of those hours. Although the majority can be made after hours/school holidays.

Will need to think about her childcare though, she could go to nursery for the 24 hours, however 'we' meaning the nursery/nurses/her other teams thinks that amount of germs/care needs in a sudden change could make us take a huge leap back. So we need to try and stay to the 1 hour a day and slowly build up on how she copes/how nursery cope with her needs. Least we all agree.

UncannyScot

way to go lass
(((((HUGS)))))

pennywisepoundstupid

Fantastic news, I'm sure it will all work out for you.

Take care.x.