When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

I think it will see us losing tax credits totally should the living arrangements remain the same. Not a bad thing but something to be aware off.

Need to round in all the bits I need to pay today Tv license/gas/school dinners etc and find the rest of the council tax payment. Good thing is I have until 28th to find the next lot rather than always looking behind.

Sun_Addict

Great news about the job. I echo what everyone else says - you are an amazing mum. Don't let OH dictate what you do, ignore him, you do what you want to do. You're doing so well despite everything that's going on with OH and him behaving like a spoilt child. Big hugs from me xxx

Hiddenidenity

I'm still not 100% on what to do.

Not doing it means 'failing' to improve our situation failing in other ways too I guess, on the same token I don't want to do it and it be the end of our relationship.

Lots of thinking to do about it.

Not much happening here today, been a NSD, pottered in the house and garden while the kids played outside and I think I had the whole towns kids in tow. Fun day for all 3 of mine though so no complaints, will need to bake more treats though as nearly the while lot I'd done for the next few days has gone

Sunday roast tomorrow so will get something in the oven at the same time.

Tomorrow is 2 months into debt busting.

Eager_Elephant

Fab news on the job hidden.

I know its a difficult decision to make but if OH is giving you an ultimatum then in my eyes you are not in a relationship you are in a master/slave relationship.
Your OH should always be supportive no matter what you do. I think he likes you being at home keeping house and looking after the kids while he swans about with no concerns at all.
I think he likes you 'needing' him to pay the majority of the bills and without him you wouldn't manage.

If you got a job you would then have money of your own and you wouldn't 'need' his money plus of course you meet lots of other people in 'normal' relationships and he is worried that your eyes will be opened and you will realise that what you have with OH is not 'normal'.

Can you not accept the job and see how it pans out? If it doesn't work out then at least you have tried and maybe it wasn't the right time but if it does work out then that would be brilliant!

If you had a job I hope that you wouldn't still be cleaning at all hours and washing the bedding every day?!!?

Hiddenidenity

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Fab news on the job hidden.

I know its a difficult decision to make but if OH is giving you an ultimatum then in my eyes you are not in a relationship you are in a master/slave relationship.
Your OH should always be supportive no matter what you do. I think he likes you being at home keeping house and looking after the kids while he swans about with no concerns at all.
I think he likes you 'needing' him to pay the majority of the bills and without him you wouldn't manage.

If you got a job you would then have money of your own and you wouldn't 'need' his money plus of course you meet lots of other people in 'normal' relationships and he is worried that your eyes will be opened and you will realise that what you have with OH is not 'normal'.

Can you not accept the job and see how it pans out? If it doesn't work out then at least you have tried and maybe it wasn't the right time but if it does work out then that would be brilliant!

If you had a job I hope that you wouldn't still be cleaning at all hours and washing the bedding every day?!!?

I think this maybe concerns him too, currently I do everything, for him too, from cooking, to running his bath!

However I wouldn't change this, I would still do what I do now just around work hours rather than the times I do things now. So it wouldn't change anything for him. Work would be roughly 9am-2pm give or take a bit but definitely between school hours obviously. He's out 6-6ish so I hope that this isn't on his mind as I'd not want nor need him to do anything different to now.

I'm going to sit and discuss it with him when/if he gets home tonight if not then tomorrow. Maybe the reasoning he will be able to afford some of his personal spends out his wage might persuade him.

Hiddenidenity

Totally not MSE but I really want a new book, but it's £8.50 on playstore and £8 on amazon I refuse to spend £8 on myself :rotfl::rotfl:

I have nearly checked out at least 8 times across the week.

emmie26

I'm gutted that such good news is not seen as such by your OH, at the moment he is really your only link to the outside world other than your mum and sister, if you were working you would be able to have a laugh, meet people, have a change of routine instead of being suck in washing bedding :rotfl: to me it is such a no brainer I can see no disadvantage. I really hope you can work some magic on him and make him see that. At the moment you are doing everything for everyone else and have nothing for yourself, I really hope that changes for you soon xx

P.s any chance the book is at the library??

armchairexpert

Imagine being a grown adult with full use of your limbs and expecting someone to run your bath for you.

Chandelier.

Hidden what book is it?

I'm part of an ebook group where we can download as many as we want and you give requests and they find them for you.

Send me a message and I'll give you details.

[Deleted User]

Morning HI,

Congratulations on the new job, it'll do you wonders to be doing your own thing and you'll still be there for the kids and get some other adult conversation.

Sorry OH isn't on board, I won't comment on your relationship you know that. I think that he may come round though once you've started.

With regards to tax credits and stuff, that I'm not sure about but when I worked in the school kitchen I could do 16 hours without being taxed for it, if that helps?

Which book are you after? If I have it here, I can send it to you x