Sister's Wedding Day

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mrstemperton wrote: »

My younger sister passed away unexpectedly in October 2016 aged 26. She was supposed to be getting married in June this year. We feel like her wedding day should not pass without being recognised but I don't know what to do without it seeming morbid. I feel like some sort of get together with the wedding guests? Any suggestions?

It IS morbid.
She didn't marry on that day, so why remember it?

Very odd, sorry.

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ognum wrote: »

I disagree

Are you saying that the death of a spouse is 'worse' than the death of a child.

For some people the death of a friend is the most deverstating experience of their lives.

Who are we to say?

Maybe when posting on someone's Facebook page there is some kind of order or some people believe there is but actually everyone is allowed their own grief. Is the widow 'more mportant' than the mum, dad or sibling?

Child or spouse doesn't matter here.
This is not a funeral.

They were due to marry in June. That wedding day was the girl and her fiances day. Noone elses. Yes, family were invited but its not their day.
So when it comes to having a day to remember, if its the non wedding day then it is ONLY the grooms opinion that matters because it was HIS day too. Not the Mothers, or the Sisters, or the Cousions. The Fiance.

mrstemperton

Thanks to everyone that replied. It was more to get ideas as something to put forward to her fiance. At this time, I don't know what he would or wouldn't want to do, but I also had no idea what to even suggest. We are a very close family and she was my best friend. Her fianc is so lost without her. She was his entire world. They lived together, worked together, socialised together. He is broken without her and I don't know what to do to help when I can't even help myself.

The plant idea is an amazing one. I just want to keep her memory alive.

mrstemperton

Also, to people saying it's morbid... There were a lot of things I thought were morbid until I lost someone I loved so much. Weird how things change.

mrstemperton

Unsure as to why so many people assumed her fiance had no input? Don't get mad about your own assumptions!

mrstemperton

ViolaLass wrote: »

It strikes me that your sisters wedding day would not have been primarily about you and your relationship with her so why should it become so just because she is dead?

I'm not sure when I said it was? Chill out.

fairy_lights

mrstemperton wrote: »

Thanks to everyone that replied. It was more to get ideas as something to put forward to her fiance. At this time, I don't know what he would or wouldn't want to do, but I also had no idea what to even suggest.

I don't think it's necessary to put forward any ideas to her fianc! really, just let him know that if he does want to mark the occasion in anyway you will all be there for him.

lincroft1710

I can think of nothing more distressing than being reminded that this was the day you were to be married when your bride to be was laid to rest only a few months ago.

Red-Squirrel_2

lincroft1710 wrote: »

I can think of nothing more distressing than being reminded that this was the day you were to be married when your bride to be was laid to rest only a few months ago.

On the other hand though, someone else may be more distressed if the day is ignored, as though nobody remembered or realises how large it is looming in their mind. Grief and reactions to loss are very personal, it's impossible to guess exactly how a bereaved person might be feeling at any given time.

OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with fairy lights completely. Don't start making plans, just let her fianc! know that if he wants your help in marking the day at all he has only to ask.