Sexual harassment in the workplace

Kynthia

trailingspouse wrote: »

Interesting that we have the full range of common reactions here - amusement, it's not that bad really, worse has happened to me, don't make a big deal of it, don't tell your Dad, you're being dramatic, underplaying what happened ('tap on the backside') by someone who wasn't there, telling the victim to get some perspective.

Can I recommend the Everyday Sexism Project for anyone who thinks a slap on the !!!! is funny, not too bad, not a big deal, not something you should tell a parent, etc etc etc.

https://everydaysexism.com/

And many thanks to all the posters who said that this type of behaviour is not acceptable.

Thank you for your post. Reading posts trivialising unwanted sexual contact was making me feel very uncomfortable and dissapointed.

I'm not getting into whether the individual should have been dismissed or not, I'm just glad he was disciplined. There's still much to be done on making people realise how unacceptable this type of behaviour is and not to tell a victim they are wrong to feel however they feel about it after. Just because some would feel okay doesn't mean those that don't are wrong.

marliepanda

I can see both sides. Though, however, he has been disciplined. If the female employee feels this is not good enough, then she should report the other employee to the police for sexual assault. Ultimately it is not up to his employer to decide any further than this. They have disciplined him as they see fit.

I think calling someone who smacked someone's bum a 'sex pest' personally is a bit much, though we weren't there, and there are many ways that a bum slap could be carried out (I'm not saying any is acceptable, I'm sure you know where I'm coming from)

Ultimately if she feels he hasn't been reprimanded enough then she needs to go to the police. If she feels he sexual assault wasn't enough to warrant police action, then she needs to accept that her employers have decided that he can continue his employment.
Whether she then chooses to is up to her.

hyubh

xapprenticex wrote: »

I have no doubt you cant see why she can leave and sue, whats your angle? i though male-feminist blue pill white knight simp zealot initially. Im sure youll protect her so she's safe from the ebil man.

Be a good child and stay off the shandies - you sound a bit tipsy.

breakinthesun

Thank you for your post. Reading posts trivialising unwanted sexual contact was making me feel very uncomfortable and dissapointed.

I'm not getting into whether the individual should have been dismissed or not, I'm just glad he was disciplined. There's still much to be done on making people realise how unacceptable this type of behaviour is and not to tell a victim they are wrong to feel however they feel about it after. Just because some would feel okay doesn't mean those that don't are wrong.

Worth saying that I felt the same way reading this thread, to the degree that I felt it necessary to sign up to the forum to provide advice. It was quite stunning to me to read so many people think that the OP was overreacting, more still that the lady in question would have a weak case.

Undervalued

breakinthesun wrote: »

Worth saying that I felt the same way reading this thread, to the degree that I felt it necessary to sign up to the forum to provide advice. It was quite stunning to me to read so many people think that the OP was overreacting, more still that the lady in question would have a weak case.

Really?

The employer, who unlike you (or me) has heard both sides and knows something of the character of both parties, has taken action and issued a formal warning.

The OP describes himself as a "friend" of the lady in question. How do you know that he is not the one overreacting or allowing his friendship to cloud his judgement? He clearly is of the opinion that the man involved should have been dismissed and seems to me to have come on here in the hope of having that opinion supported.

So, you have signed up specially to support his opinion. How convenient.....

Rosemary7391

Undervalued wrote: »

Really?

The employer, who unlike you (or me) has heard both sides and knows something of the character of both parties, has taken action and issued a formal warning.

I don't see where the OP said what action had been taken - just that he'd been suspended during the investigation and not sacked. He could well be on a final warning, which seems quite appropriate if the employer has received no other formal grievances about him (again, not quite clear on that - "complained" is not the same as "complained to the employer formally").

Hopefully the person concerned has learned their lesson and the office is becoming more comfortable as everyone realises this. That's the outcome we're looking for, surely?

breakinthesun

The OP describes himself as a "friend" of the lady in question. How do you know that he is not the one overreacting or allowing his friendship to cloud his judgement? He clearly is of the opinion that the man involved should have been dismissed and seems to me to have come on here in the hope of having that opinion supported.

I suppose because I am not a conspiracy theorist.

The OP has presented the following facts:
-Male colleague spanked bottom of female colleague.
-Incident had multiple witnesses.
-Other female staff have complained about this person's behaviour.
-Investigation concluded - no dismissal, no relocation of colleague.
-Feeling in office now one of discomfort.

I am not going to speculate on what the employer found in their investigation; but it seems to me that unwanted sexual contact with several witness to corroborate would be a fairly straightforward dismissal or relocation at best. It's possible that there are other explanations, but shortcomings with the investigation and decision seem the most obvious.

breakinthesun

I would add that if I had been the victim of unwanted sexual contact, had raised this with the employer having already established that other witnesses saw it happen, and then I had to go back to work with this person, I wouldn't want to work there anymore and I would be looking to make a tribunal claim that I would almost certainly win.

rhobtaylor

Not to besmirch anyone but is there any history the OP isn't aware of that the employer now is for example? There could be a number of reasons dismissal wasn't the outcome and none of them would be to upset the lady concerned... they'd have weighed up the potential issues and had to make a balanced decision. That hasn't been given in the post so it leads me to believe that the OP perhaps doesn't have all the facts.

This guy will be on the shortest leash possible...but the employer will also be aware of any campaign to "get him out" and that could backfire on anyone being part of one...

Sometimes you have to grin and bear working with someone till they screw themselves over.

Undervalued

rhobtaylor wrote: »

Not to besmirch anyone but is there any history the OP isn't aware of that the employer now is for example? There could be a number of reasons dismissal wasn't the outcome and none of them would be to upset the lady concerned... they'd have weighed up the potential issues and had to make a balanced decision. That hasn't been given in the post so it leads me to believe that the OP perhaps doesn't have all the facts.

This guy will be on the shortest leash possible...but the employer will also be aware of any campaign to "get him out" and that could backfire on anyone being part of one...

Sometimes you have to grin and bear working with someone till they screw themselves over.

Exactly.

For all we know it is perfectly possible this lady had been winding the young man up for weeks with one sexual innuendo after another.

Whilst that wouldn't excuse his behaviour it may well mitigate it.

Or maybe she is as saintly as Mother Teresa?

The OP describes himself as a "friend" of the lady so it is most unlikely we are being given an impartial account of both sides of the story.

Who knows?