A whole new world, for now

jwil

How annoying about losing the post. I hate it when that happens! I've got into the habit of copying very long posts before I post them, as it's happened to me before too.

Hope you are feeling better and Mr Wii was kind.

in_need_of_direction

My post was probably all self pitying drivel. I'm in a bit of a slump. I'm also in ranty form. Over the weekend, I watched killed by my debt. This should be mandatory viewing for all teenage school children. There have been times when I felt myself close to the end of my tether money wise but I think the difference was that I had my children at a very young pre debt age. That meant that I would have swallowed my pride and gone to family if I really needed to. That poor kid.

DH and I are in a weird place. I tend to worry and get stressed and he tends to saunter through life. Following on from a discussion he yesterday told me that his only real worry is about a no deal brexit! I think I probably make life too easy for him if that's his only worry. I worry about relationships with his family, about my mum, about isolation, about my children (they aren't his but he does have a good relationship with them), about an old, cluttered house that needs repair and cleaning, about what our neglect is doing to property value, about my lack of steady income, about my lack of pension, about health issues, etc., etc. but the only blot on his landscape is a no deal brexit. Really?
It's not like I haven't spoken to him about stuff getting me down or about what I'd like to do financially or housewise. It just doesn't seem to be of any concern to him. It may also explain why he doesn't really commit to Mse matters.

Yesterday I got one client close to up to date. I just need to get on top of the related admin. Today, I am in the nightmare client. On the plus side, I can leave my car there free of charge and walk to a meeting with a potential client that was referred to me.

Yesterday I lodged a business cheque via the post office and put dd's birthday parcel in the post. I included a scratch card and also bought myself a £2 one. I won £20 so this will give me £2 to invest in scratch cards, £3 to me to cover the cost of the 2 cards and £15 to the credit union to cover the excess miles on the car lease. This fell seriously behind last year when I had no money and couldn't even pay expenses. It needs to be addressed or in 2.5 years, I will have serious problems.

Mr Wii was not kind. I am up 1 lb. there is a serious trend emerging and I'm scared and when I get scared, I comfort eat and hide away. I really don't know where this will end. I have an infection around one of my toenails and am catastrophising about amputation given how little control I have over my sugar levels. My gp's surgery is short staffed over the summer and are restricting time with a dr if you manage to fit their criteria for seeing one. I know that this isn't rocket science. I need to move more and cut out sugar but it seems to be beyond me. I am not a stupid person, I can join the dots and see where this is heading so why can't I deal with this properly.

Today I am grateful for
Still having a semblance of life despite years of abuse
Having remembered to post the Percy pigs without which dd's birthday would be lacking
Money trickling in

doingitanyway

Your comment about DHs Brexit concerns is funny and such a guy way to think. That said, it must be frustrating.

Get the toe checked ASAP. Take care of yourself but also be kind to yourself. We are all human.

Cherryfudge

I wonder whether you are both doing some serious avoidance in the hope things will make themselves better? I may be completely wrong but that's what I do when things are hard. It's easier to focus concerns on Brexit which the individual is unlikely to be able to do much about, than finances which mean hard work. Similarly, food provides a comfort and a distraction so you do actually feel better for a minute, but it doesn't get rid of the things that are causing the stress. But you know that.

Doingitanyway is right (both in name and advice) - if you get yourself down to the doctor you can share some of those worries and take some of the stress away. And I know the nightmare client was very persuasive but if it's making life harder for you, please do consider pulling out. If they can't or won't replace you, and the certain member of staff is too big an issue for management to deal with, then they have problems that are not yours to solve.

Hope you have a better day today x

beanielou

With you on the sugar

Verbatim

Hi INOD,
I've been catching up having rediscovered your thread recently.
Have you heard of the Blood Sugar Diet Book? (Michael Mosely). It's
specifically for type 2 diabetics. Many people have reversed their diabetes and/ or brought their blood sugars down massively.
I like it as it's easy to keep to with full fat yoghurt milk etc and pulses, meat fish and nuts which keeps you full for longer. I've found it quite easy to avoid sugar and bread and other carbs although I'm cheating by drinking wine at weekends and I have the occasional cake or pudding. I managed to lose about 7 or 8 kg at first (having lost more on 5:2 previously)but am now maintaining rather than losing because of the cheating. But it hasn't gone back on which is important.
I prefer to weigh myself daily as I read that people who weigh themselves more frequently tend to lose more than those who don't. For me I don't dare leave it a week as I'd find it too depressing to have put on more than a kilo or so. But I love the food in the recipe book and have eaten from it happily for over a year now.
I'm not on commission, honestly!

in_need_of_direction

Thanks for all the comments, you're all on the money. Cherry, my user name should really be cleopatra as I am the queen of denial. DH however isn't in denial, he's oblivious. So, last night I had to work late. To make things better he sorted out the kitchen and hoovered hall, stairs and landing. That's great but isn't coming close to the big problems.

Verbatim, I absolutely need to do something and your suggestion seems to be the way forward. I will order today from the works as they have a good offer on. I've been scared of actually trying something for 2 reasons. What if I try and can't do it? Also, given the number of drugs I take each day, if I significantly reduce my sugar intake, will I be over medicated?
Despite being diagnosed 8 years ago, I truly have not gotten to grips with this illness. I just see it as another in a long line of failures.

So, met with potential client yesterday and it's looking good. More importantly, it's local. I also got a cheque from the low but regularly paying client which was good as I paid dd the balancing payment for the work she did up to the start of June. I can't believe how protective I am of the balance in my wee business account. Not least cos I have 2 big bills to pay in the next month.

So, need to get a wiggle on. Going to nightmare client this morning. Last night's work included getting formal approval for the parameters within which I work which can only be a good thing. Today I am grateful for
The wonderful Mse folks with whom I share stuff I cannot say out loud in real life
Free tiger bread given to me yesterday
A better night's sleep

doingitanyway

Verbatim wrote: »

Have you heard of the Blood Sugar Diet Book? (Michael Mosely). It's
specifically for type 2 diabetics. Many people have reversed their diabetes and/ or brought their blood sugars down massively.
I like it as it's easy to keep to with full fat yoghurt milk etc and pulses, meat fish and nuts which keeps you full for longer. I've found it quite easy to avoid sugar and bread and other carbs although I'm cheating by drinking wine at weekends and I have the occasional cake or pudding. I managed to lose about 7 or 8 kg at first (having lost more on 5:2 previously)but am now maintaining rather than losing because of the cheating. But it hasn't gone back on which is important.

Thanks for sharing Verbatim. I will be ordering the book today too. I wish you success with the plan too INOD. Have a good day.

beanielou

You are not a failure.
You inspire me as you just keep plodding xxx

misstara

Agree with beanielou. Hope nightmare client is not too bad today.