AIBU Babysitter always asks for lift home?

freeisgood

Hello all.

We have being using a babysitter for a few months now, she has been to ours maybe 15 times. She is 24 yrs old, she is a childminder and has been an au pair,and came recommended to me via a friend. She is lovely with the kids.

The first couple of times sitting, she actually got her dad to come and collect her as she lives at home, fair enough. Then she asked us for a lift home ,via text prior to sitting job, and thats the way its been every time we ask her to sit, if I ignore the " can I have a lift home please" she sends it again.

We live in a nice large town that is considered very safe, her home is 25 mins walk and the bus stop is about 2 minutes walk away if she chose to use it, and one bus would take her straight home.

She charges £7 per hour.

I have no issues taking her home after 10.30 for example, but she asks every time prior to the babysitting, even if we are walking to our local from 6.30 to 8.30 for a quick meal out, it means one of us cannot drink.

It's got to the point we don't want to use her anymore, but we don't have another sitter.
Just wondering how to tactfully say "not unless it is late/ after 10" without offending her.

Do you think I should just reply "No sorry" and see what happens? help!

LannieDuck

Definitely say no if you both want to have a glass of wine at the pub!!

I would only agree to give her a lift if it's convenient for you. She's 24 - why should you be responsible for her transport?

She's probably only continually asking because you keep saying yes. So say no. In fact, probably best to let her know now that you won't be able to give her a lift in future (you don't need a reason), so she has time to arrange her own transport.

ognum

I think I would state at the start, ' please can you babysit on Saturday, sorry can't give you a lift home'

But really it depends on how much you need her services, personally the drinking bit is not important to me and I would be happy to ensure she got home safely at any time.

If however having a drink is key to going out then maybe you need to look for someone else or pay for a taxi for her.

Does she need your work, if she is that good she probably can get lots of babysitting elsewhere.

Silvertabby

That rather defeats the object of paying good money for a babysitter if one of you has to finish the evening by running a taxi service! Can't she borrow her dad's car?

freeisgood

Thanks for your replies

Ognum that is a brilliant idea, I think I will just say it first. Then she has the option of refusing the work.

In fact she often messages me to find out if I need sitting anytime soon so she is not busy, I don't think she drives.

pmlindyloo

freeisgood wrote: »

Hello all.

We have being using a babysitter for a few months now, she has been to ours maybe 15 times. She is 24 yrs old, she is a childminder and has been an au pair,and came recommended to me via a friend. She is lovely with the kids.

The first couple of times sitting, she actually got her dad to come and collect her as she lives at home, fair enough. Then she asked us for a lift home ,via text prior to sitting job, and thats the way its been every time we ask her to sit, if I ignore the " can I have a lift home please" she sends it again.

We live in a nice large town that is considered very safe, her home is 25 mins walk and the bus stop is about 2 minutes walk away if she chose to use it, and one bus would take her straight home.

She charges £7 per hour.

I have no issues taking her home after 10.30 for example, but she asks every time prior to the babysitting, even if we are walking to our local from 6.30 to 8.30 for a quick meal out, it means one of us cannot drink.

It's got to the point we don't want to use her anymore, but we don't have another sitter.
Just wondering how to tactfully say "not unless it is late/ after 10" without offending her.

Do you think I should just reply "No sorry" and see what happens? help!

I think this is a difficult one since you seem to have been giving her a lift home up to now and to suddenly change your mind may seem a little strange.

I am wondering whether you could use the 'now it is lighter in the evenings would you be happy to walk/bus home' if it's still light?

There are some people who are very wary of walking/bussing home alone and even if your town is considered 'very safe' they may just be that kind of person. May even have had a bad experience previously. Or maybe the parents are insisting on your taking her home - some parents are very protective even when their kids are grown up.

Can you have a talk with her and see what the problem is and then go from there. Taking her home after 10pm (or when it's dark) still doesn't solve the 'one of you not being able to drink' problem.

So........ could one of you go on the bus with her? Taxi, for special occasions?

Until you know why she is so reluctant to go home alone then there is no way of finding a solution that suits you both.

freeisgood

You are right Lindyloo, she has no problems walking to us, and that was in the dark in the winter, sometimes at 8 or 8.30, so I am not sure if it is just because we said yes once and she realised it was an easy option for her.

The last sitting we were back at 8.30 and she still wanted a lift. Yes we are feeling resentful and taken advantage off a bit

LannieDuck

pmlindyloo wrote: »

I think this is a difficult one since you seem to have been giving her a lift home up to now and to suddenly change your mind may seem a little strange.

I am wondering whether you could use the 'now it is lighter in the evenings would you be happy to walk/bus home' if it's still light?

There are some people who are very wary of walking/bussing home alone and even if your town is considered 'very safe' they may just be that kind of person. May even have had a bad experience previously. Or maybe the parents are insisting on your taking her home - some parents are very protective even when their kids are grown up.

Can you have a talk with her and see what the problem is and then go from there. Taking her home after 10pm (or when it's dark) still doesn't solve the 'one of you not being able to drink' problem.

So........ could one of you go on the bus with her? Taxi, for special occasions?

Until you know why she is so reluctant to go home alone then there is no way of finding a solution that suits you both.

She's 24 years old! :eek:

If she's incapable of catching one bus, I wouldn't want her in sole charge of my children.

tykesi

freeisgood wrote: »

Yes we are feeling resentful and taken advantage off a bit

Well that's nobody's fault but your own isn't it?

TBagpuss

I think if she asks you'd be fine to respond, "Sorry, no, we're going out for a meal so will both be having a drink"

or even "Sorry, no, we're going out for a meal so will both be having a drink, but one of us would be happy to walk with you to the bus stop and wait with you, if you are worried about walking home alone"

You could also offer to pay an extra £xx to cover the cost of a taxi if you will be back later than a certain time.

pollyanna24

What does AIBU in the heading stand for?:o