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How to avoid meeting up

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Comments

  • spirit
    spirit Posts: 2,886 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    I don't know any of his family. I know their names, but never met them. His son rang me maybe 8-9 months after my friend passed to say he saw my letter to his dad but don't expect to hear from him.





    I wouldn't involve his family. Just nip it in the bud using any of the ideas we've all given you (or one of your own)


    Just don't let it drag on is my advice. It is taking up too much of your life. Why should you change your recreational habits etc just to avoid him?
    Mortgage free as of 10/02/2015. Every brick and blade of grass belongs to meeeee. :j
  • Sunny_Saver
    Sunny_Saver Posts: 3,068 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Yes, i agree spirit. I've been given good advice. Just need to act on it.

    Thank you.
    “It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.”

    F. Scott Fitzgerald
  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,439 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    If someone followed me to the gym and the swimming pool, I'd consider him a creep.

    His behaviour is totally inappropriate, sunny.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,917 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    annandale wrote: »
    Change gyms if you feel it's necessary and get on with your life..
    You've clearly never tried to cancel a contract with a gym
    pollypenny wrote: »
    If someone followed me to the gym and the swimming pool, I'd consider him a creep.

    His behaviour is totally inappropriate, sunny.
    I did think someone mentioned stalking but I can't find the post (am on the bus on my phone).
    I'm not saying this guy is a stalker but I think someone may have said that's unlikely because of his age.
    In today's Metro there was a 73 year old guy convicted of stalking.
    He was given dispensation to have his (black) cat in court.
  • Sunny_Saver
    Sunny_Saver Posts: 3,068 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 21 March 2017 at 9:58PM
    OH said he's over 80 he's not a stalker. My mum said he was just lonely, looking for someone to talk too/an audience.

    I also said he was lonely, I presumed as he lost his wife, but I bumped into my neighbour who lost her husband. God, she does so much! My head hurts just listening to her activities/social life.

    It's wrong to presume people are lonely because they lose their OH, sometimes they get a new lease of life.
    “It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.”

    F. Scott Fitzgerald
  • itsanne
    itsanne Posts: 5,001 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    OH said he's over 80 he's not a stalker. My mum said he was just lonely, looking for someone to talk too/an audience.

    I also said he was lonely, I presumed as he lost his wife, but I bumped into my neighbour who lost her husband. God, she does so much! My head hurts just listening to her activities/social life.

    It's wrong to presume people are lonely because they lose their OH, sometimes they get a new lease of life.

    Or they may have to fill the time somehow .... and you can be lonelier with other people than on your own.

    I'm not trying to have a 'go' at you, just hoping that you'll maybe rethink making any assumptions in this area. Appearances can be deceptive and I don't think it's possible to know what it's like without experiencing it - I certainly didn't.
    . . .I did not speak out

    Then they came for me
    And there was no one left
    To speak out for me..

    Martin Niemoller
  • Sunny_Saver
    Sunny_Saver Posts: 3,068 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    No, that's fine, itsanne. I know you're not.

    I read a proverb once that you can be in a room full of people, but unless a certain person is in that room, the room is empty.

    Everyone reacts differently. Also, no one knows the relationship when both were alive. Maybe husband abused wife or wife abused husband, so it's a weight off their shoulders to be on their own.
    “It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.”

    F. Scott Fitzgerald
  • System
    System Posts: 178,374 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 21 March 2017 at 10:51PM
    OH said he's over 80 he's not a stalker.
    Your husband is wrong... granted at the age of 80 he's not going to be able to do much I would have thought but he's still a nuisance when the attention isn't wanted.

    Quoted from Dictionary.com

    Stalker:
    1. a person who pursues game, prey, or a person stealthily.
    2. a person who harasses another person, as a former lover, a famous person, etc., in an aggressive, often threatening and illegal manner:
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Sunny_Saver
    Sunny_Saver Posts: 3,068 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    I know see Pollycat's post earlier - that guy was 73, not 80, but close enough.
    “It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.”

    F. Scott Fitzgerald
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