Family drama, 30 & pregnant.

LKRDN_Morgan

pimento wrote: »

Since when was 30 a milestone birthday?

Since you can't get away with the stuff you did in your 20s.
''Jesus LKRDN_Morgan you can't do that anymore you're in your 30s!''

It's taken over 21 as the official start of adulthood.

pinkshoes

So you booked a meal for you, your OH, and your parents because your sister couldn't make it?

I can't quite understand what happened next. Did your parents then cancel on the day?

Why did you not just go and enjoy a meal with your OH?

I think you are getting far too upset over nothing!! For most, 30 is just another birthday...

Andrew_Ryan_89

Not too sure I understand the story fully, but how I interpreted it was that you booked dinner for you and your parents. Your parents found out that your sister was not coming so they never showed up (telling you after you waited for 5 hours). If this is the case, though crying for hours may have been a result of you be "hormonal", being that upset about it is perfectly reasonable.

I have had similar experiences with my family which has led me to concentrate on my wife and son to be. My wife organised a surprise birthday dinner for me and called around to my family to see if anyone could come. It ended with my mum turning up with my brother saying he could not make it because the football was on.

Now, considering that his team was not even playing and all of my wife's family showed up (which was a little weird because of the circumstance), I was grossly dissapointed. This was the same brother who I found 2 jobs for, buy a birthday present for each year (he's 26), give him advice on all manners of life etc. Different people just have different standards and instead of being upset about it, I have just learnt to accept it and concentrate on my own family.

fairy_lights

I'm not quite making sense of what happened either, it reads like part of the post is missing and there should be something else in the middle about what your parents did/ didn't do.
If they didn't show up to your birthday meal because your sibling wasn't going then that's pretty crappy of them. We're they concerned about your sisters mental state that night?

Either way I think I would book a table for dinner somewhere this weekend, for just you and your partner, and have a 'do-over' birthday.

KRB2725

Whilst I don't really celebrate my own birthday, I do get why you're upset.

You organise a family meal and then your parents bail simply because your sister has decided not to come. It doesn't have to be an occasion for that to be considered poor manners. Especially when by the sounds of it they didn't bother telling you until a little while prior.

I do think that pregnancy hormones are playing a part, but they did let you down with no good reason.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I think the "family drama" is your sister's overdose and its aftermath. You can have a meal out at any time, but isn't her mental health the important thing here?

heartbreak_star

I am suspecting the parents bailed because the sister wasn't coming?

HBS x

hazyjo

Trouble is, when it's family, we expect them to act the same way as we would - and often they don't.


We used to always get together for birthdays and I remember one year my mum saying we weren't doing anything for (I forget whose) birthday that year. I was particularly sensitive to the fact they knew my then OH didn't particularly enjoy the company of my young nieces and nephew. I then got a call saying my parents were having Chinese at my sister's and I cannot describe the emotion. I was beyond upset. I scared myself at how much it affected me. I too was bawling like a child. It was so out of character.


My mum's at my sister's all the time, always doing something for them so I'm not sure why it affected me so much. I think I was just feeling so upset because I was unhappy with my husband and wanted to defend and blame him at the same time.


Just saying maybe there is a much deeper reason as to why you are taking it so personally. I too would be upset if they all cancelled though, but maybe more peed off than upset. Are you upset that nobody else (partner, friends) have wanted to do anything to celebrate?


Jx

Tammykitty

I used to celebrate every birthday - its really just an excuse for a night out with friends, but have stopped as over the last few years no-one has made any effort for my birthday.


Among my circle of friends most of us still have a birthday night out (And our circle ranges from 30 - 45!), and I always make a real effort to go to others, even going to one friends, straight off a plane from Australia!


My own birthday, falls between Christmas and the New Year, so to make it easier for people I used to celebrate the last weekend in January, however people still didn't come. It hurts, when you always make an effort for others, but no-one makes the effort back, so now I just celebrate with my husband (although still feel sad that I am not celebrating with friends too every year) - who knows maybe I will grow out of it!


I think you are right to be upset, but your parents probably didn't realize how much it meant to you, most parents don't want their children to be upset - and when your mum realized, she came round to see you.


Don't dwell on it!

Hermia

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

I think the "family drama" is your sister's overdose and its aftermath. You can have a meal out at any time, but isn't her mental health the important thing here?

I was wondering about that. No one seems to be picking up on the attempted overdose, but surely that is the crucial thing here. If that happened in my family I think it would have repercussions for a long time. If your sister attempted to overdose over a break-up it could possibly be that the parents are sensitive to how you being pregnant and having a big birthday might impact on someone who was recently suicidal. Is it possible that your sister has confided in your parents and not in you so your parents thoughts were completely focused on her? It is a shame that your parents didn't think to talk about this and maybe schedule a nice birthday event later on in the year.