Is this a lousy comment or am I overthinking it?

suki1964

Sam_Fallow wrote: »

I wouldn't go so far as a card. Maybe just a Terry's Chocolate Orange. Just make sure it's out of date.

ROTFLMAO

That's a great response

suki1964

tensandunits wrote: »

Surely you just need to learn to think before you speak. I used to be tactless, and a bit outspoken too as a child, but as I grew up I learned to be more mindful what I was saying.

If only it was so easy

I wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone. In fact I'm very emphatic , just read my posts to see.

With online and having time to read, re read, listen to what I'm saying before hitting send, I usually avoid making a gaff. Also reading other relies can help me with tone. Sometimes that gets me in more trouble as I'm accused of backing up someone else, but that's another story altogether

I really am a genuinely nice person but don't get social skills so I avoid them

tensandunits_2

suki1964 wrote: »

If only it was so easy

I wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone. In fact I'm very emphatic , just read my posts to see.

With online and having time to read, re read, listen to what I'm saying before hitting send, I usually avoid making a gaff. Also reading other relies can help me with tone. Sometimes that gets me in more trouble as I'm accused of backing up someone else, but that's another story altogether

I really am a genuinely nice person but don't get social skills so I avoid them

Do others say you are rude? Maybe you're being a bit hard on yourself, none of us knows really how we come across to others and we've all said something in our lives that we wish we hadn't. But still, we all try to treat others as we'd wish to be treated.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I love flowers.

When they're growing in the garden, that is.

At least you know not to do that again.

pearl123

Perhaps she just feels uncomfortable about receiving flowers from you. You say you don't like her much, perhaps the feeling is mutual. People do pick up vibes.

FBaby

Rude rude rude. Is it really so hard to consider the efforts people go through to try to please and give special attention and as such to think twice about what they say? Really?

What really annoys me is that it is often those people who show the least appreciation who moan the most that they get no special treatment!

She is the girlfriend of a friend, so really you had no reason to go beyond getting her a card if that. Not only you took an extra step but you made it personal and that's all she can say!

I personally wouldn't care to spend much more time with her after this unless she genuinely apologised. Better spend time with people who appreciate you.

getmore4less

You go away as a couple and the lads go fishing

What do you girls do.

Maybe the men should have some man time away fishing without the ladies in tow.

swingaloo

Thanks for all the replies, Im more chilled about it now. Sadly I know she wont be kicking herself though. The more Ive thought about the more Ive realised how embarrassed Ive been at times when Ive been with her.

Like the time we went into a new cafe which had opened in Worcester. They had just opened the day before and clearly hadnt quite got their act together. Everything was half price and there was a notice saying it was half price all week. We had coffee and a sandwich each and they were lovely, loads of filling on seeded rolls. Our bill came to just over £6. I remarked to her that they were probably not going to break even selling at half price all week.

She replied that they didnt deserve to as the service was too slow and she actually told them so as we were leaving. I was so embarrassed then.

I dont think she has picked up that I dont really like her, shes always asking me to go places with her and actually calls me her best friend.
I bite my tongue and would help her with anything if I could although as I said I do it because it would be extremely awkward for my hubby and her other half if I was to say what I liked in response to her. When we have our weekends away we have a set pattern where the men fish while we take ourselves off for the day then we go out as a foursome at night.

I will just make sure to buy her something different next year.

balletshoes

swingaloo wrote: »

Feeling quite niggled! Hubby and I have ha a mutual friend for a few years, lovely bloke and we think the world of him. He met a woman about 3 years ago and she moved in with him.

Lets just say that if she was not his girlfriend we would not bother with her at all. He has regretted letting her move in but thats another story!
Last week it was her birthday and as it was a 'special' one we decided to send her flowers. Then I decided to do them myself as I am a qualified florist so I went out and bought flowers and also a vase thinking hat when the flowers were gone the vase would still be a pressie. I made a gorgeous spring bouquet and on her birthday she called at our house on her way home from her morning job so I gave them to her. We got an 'Oh thanks' but nothing more, no 'they are lovely' or anything like that but that didnt really matter.

Today she calls again and I asked if she had enjoyed her birthday. She told me her son had got her a handbag, her daughter has got her some leather gloves and some flowers and the company she works for had given her a voucher and some flowers.

I said 'Ah thats nice' and got back 'Huh, not really, Im sick of the sight of flaming flowers'.

Now is it me or was that a horrible thoughtless thing to say? Hubby didnt hear it as we were in the kitchen and when I told him he said I should have said something but as we go away for weekends with them as a couple I dont want to spoil hubbys friendship with his mate.

honestly? sounds like a throwaway comment from an acquaintance, it more than likely was just an honest response to your question, without even thinking that you are a qualified florist and put a lot of care and time into her flowers. I wouldn't say it was a "horrible" thing to say, "thoughtless" yes maybe.

swingaloo

getmore4less wrote: »

Maybe the men should have some man time away fishing without the ladies in tow.

They have been without us on occasion and I love it when they do. As hubby is disabled he is home all the time so I love it when they go without us as I get the house to myself and can move furniture/decorate or just eat chocolate!

But our friend is self employed so never takes a weeks holiday so likes to go on these fishing trips as a foursome twice a year. We stay in a cabin and on day one she will join them fishing then days 2 and 3 we leave them to it and take off round the shops. Then at night we eat out.