Is this a lousy comment or am I overthinking it?

pinkshoes

I'm not keen on flowers - I feel so sad when they die!

(But nevertheless they are beautiful, and I would say thank you to anyone that bought them for me and enjoy them whilst they lasted!).

I'd say she sounds a bit self centered and needs a lesson on gratitude.

swingaloo

Thanks for the replies. Maybe I am over thinking it. She has told me many times though that she loves flowers and has done a couple of silk flower displays and given them to me as pressies.

To clear the confusion- she calls in twice a week as hubbys mate comes round to spend a couple of hours as hubby is disabled and he sits with him so I can go out if I need to.

It would be difficult to cool the friendship with her without spoiling it for hubby and his mate. As I say we go away a couple of times a year as hubby and his mate like fishing and hubby can only go if his mate helps him. So we are sort of thrown together and I dont want to spoil things but she is definitely not the type of person I would enjoy spending time with if it were not for hubby and mates friendship.. I have noticed that she is quite rude in other ways as well so perhaps I shouldnt be surprised.

Lucyxx

She may have immediately walked away cringing at herself for saying it. I was in a similar situation once and I was moaning to one of the other school run mums about my part time job and finished up saying "well I guess it's better than nothing". As I walked off I cringed so much thinking she may have thought I was dissing her for not working. I honestly would never ever do that, but thought I'd end up making it worse trying to explain it the next time I saw her! Likewise she may not even have given it a second thought and I was stressing over nothing.

I do have a friend who says things that completely rub people up the wrong way. Others say to our mutual friend they couldn't be friends with her, but we are so used to it. I think some people just have no self edit button and don't realise how bad the things they say actually sound to others!

suki1964

I bet she's kicking herself over it

It's the sort of thing I come out with, a true foot in the mouth comment, but once said you can't take it back because that makes it worse

I do it all the time yet don't mean to hurt people. It just pops out

I remember telling my cousin on her wedding day her lipstick was a horrible colour. I was 14 at the time and I still cringe. I didn't mean any harm, I did think it was horrible. Didn't dawn on me that she would be so upset she was ball her eyes out

I won't tell you what I said to the Reverend who took a day out of his holiday to conduct my step fathers funeral service :eek:

Thankfully I do just about have some friends who accept this about me and know there's no harm or malice meant, it's just me being me. It's also a huge reason why I don't really do friendships

fairy_lights

suki1964 wrote: »

I won't tell you what I said to the Reverend who took a day out of his holiday to conduct my step fathers funeral service :eek:

Go On.....

Gloomendoom

suki1964 wrote: »

Thankfully I do just about have some friends who accept this about me and know there's no harm or malice meant, it's just me being me. It's also a huge reason why I don't really do friendships

You sound like my ex-wife. We've been divorced 12 years and friends, friends of friends, family, acquaintances and complete strangers are still telling me how outrageously rude she was to them.

They never said a thing while we were married.

Diary

I think it's a lousy thoughtless comment. My husband and adult daughter never buy me anything at all - no cards, flowers or presents. If I received a present of flowers I'd be very grateful, a little more so if someone arranged them by hand just for me and I'd be very careful to say so. Count your blessings and all that...

Sam_Fallow

Judi wrote: »

Tactless and ungrateful. A card will do next year.

I wouldn't go so far as a card. Maybe just a Terry's Chocolate Orange. Just make sure it's out of date.

tensandunits_2

suki1964 wrote: »

I bet she's kicking herself over it

It's the sort of thing I come out with, a true foot in the mouth comment, but once said you can't take it back because that makes it worse

I do it all the time yet don't mean to hurt people. It just pops out

I remember telling my cousin on her wedding day her lipstick was a horrible colour. I was 14 at the time and I still cringe. I didn't mean any harm, I did think it was horrible. Didn't dawn on me that she would be so upset she was ball her eyes out

I won't tell you what I said to the Reverend who took a day out of his holiday to conduct my step fathers funeral service :eek:

Thankfully I do just about have some friends who accept this about me and know there's no harm or malice meant, it's just me being me. It's also a huge reason why I don't really do friendships

Surely you just need to learn to think before you speak. I used to be tactless, and a bit outspoken too as a child, but as I grew up I learned to be more mindful what I was saying.

maman

It was a tactless remark but she was probably just speaking the truth. I don't think she meant she specifically didn't like your flowers but that she'd been inundated with them.

I don't agree with the posters who want you to drag it out even into next year. I'd say nothing and next year avoid flowers (although she probably won't have so many for a normal birthday)