Fallen out with parents

Robin9

As its now March have you been brewing this all up since Christmas?

bertiewhite

tea_lover wrote: »

You say he's always been opinionated and stubborn - so where on earth has the dementia idea come from?

Because he is noticebly more silent these days whereas years ago he would have made his opinion known, no matter what. If he didn't like someone or something, he'd tell you.

UKTigerlily wrote: »

Sorry but i'm shocked that you've taken the time to write this, and haven't told your Dad in no uncertain terms that how he treats your Wife is unacceptable!

It's been mentioned to my Mum many times before and she's sworn they haven't got a problem with her. The one time I've asked my Dad if he could try talking to her as she was under the impression he didn't like her, he denied it and said he thought she was great. This was about 4 years ago though.

lisyloo wrote: »

My MIL has dementia and I can confirm that this is not a symptom.
People with dimensia can be very forgetful even not recognising offspring.
They can have sudden dramatic changes of mood and also be vile, but that doesn't fit what you are talking about.

I have mentioned it to a work colleague who said it was how it started with his aunt. I am talking about early stages - 3, possibly 4.

happyandcontented wrote: »

Is he like this with everyone or is it just your wife? Does he have reason to dislike her? Is she pleasant and polite to them? You say this is your second marriage, could it be that he regrets how your first one ended (was your current wife the cause of the break up for example?)

It's hard to tell how he is with other people because I live so far from them. She has always gone out of her way to be pleasant but as time goes on, she is understandably reluctant, hence the comment when they left. No she wasn't the reason.

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Do your parents have strong religious views?

They are possibly the most unreligious people you could meet!!

bertiewhite

Robin9 wrote: »

As its now March have you been brewing this all up since Christmas?

I have

As some have rightly said, it's not acceptable behaviour and I've made the decision (the day after they left) that I don't want them back again but the original question was how do I go about bringing it up with my Mum, regardless of the reason? It's so easy just to ignore it, I've got my own life and I know it sounds horrible because they're my parents but if something did happen to them, my life wouldn't change, not in a physical way at least. I just feel that if I ignore it and let them see the error of their ways (not likely), I wouldn't be defending my wife then.

justme111

Dementia basically is not treatable. So why you are so bent on telling your mother dad may have dementia ?

fairy_lights

He just sounds like a bit of a !!!!. Even if it were the early stages of dementia, what's your mums excuse?

chesky

Could you utilise your brother to mediate between you, or at least discuss it with your mother. Do you ever have him to stay - how does he get on with your wife?

Do you have children or are there children from your first marriage?

AylesburyDuck

How can it be early stage dementia when basically he's acted towards your wife like this for several years?
Now YOUR enableing there behavior, i now feel sorry for your wife.

bertiewhite

justme111 wrote: »

Dementia basically is not treatable. So why you are so bent on telling your mother dad may have dementia ?

Because a) I don't want her to ask in a few years, why nobody mentioned it.

b) I don't want her to bury her head in the sand when she could be asking for help.

I'm not "hellbent" on telling her, I thought it might be wise to ask if she thought he did which would explain his behaviour. If not then what does she suggest the reason is?

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

How can it be early stage dementia when basically he's acted towards your wife like this for several years?
Now YOUR enableing there behavior, i now feel sorry for your wife.

She's the one who suggested it might be the reason as she's worked as a carer some years ago.

chesky wrote: »

Could you utilise your brother to mediate between you, or at least discuss it with your mother. Do you ever have him to stay - how does he get on with your wife?

Do you have children or are there children from your first marriage?

I see him even less, due to distance again. Might be worth a phonecall though.

Grenage

You're a grown man!

You can't pick your family, but you've picked your spouse; they can either get with the program or jog on. It really is that simple.

chesky

What kind of distances are we talking about? My son and daughter live miles apart but they talk on the phone regularly and generally meet up at least every 2 or 3 months. 'Might be worth a phone call'? You're discussing your father's possible dementia on a website, why haven't you talked to your brother about it?