Time to hit the reset button.

newlifeahead

I have done it. I have now hit my reset button and decided to start over again.
I still have debt but it was not the debt that was getting me down, it was just my whole life.
I am now out of a 20+ year on/off relationship and I think this was actually my biggest problem. I spent so long trying to fix things and completely lost myself in the process. So just before Christmas we broke up for the very last time and I am done and have nothing more to give.
Although I was happy with this I still felt like I had disappeared from life. I paid a serious price being in that relationship and I was no longer myself and I just hated what I have become.
Everything just got too much for me a few weeks ago and my anxiety levels were going through the roof. I spent 2 hours in a car park crying on the phone to my sister telling her how I just could not continue with how things are going.
After having this heart-breaking conversation and realising that I really could change things for the better I decided to take voluntary redundancy from work.
It's been 3 weeks since I made that decision and I feel so much better. I haven't shed a tear once.
I was due to leave at the end of this month but they have extended it to March 31st. My last working day will be 23rd March :j as I still have annual leave left.
So far only my sister and DS1 know about this and of course my work colleagues. My parents may just freak out though as my job is well paid for part-time and I have the benefit of working from home, but I am so bored and depressed with work and my life that I should at least try something else and find something I can enjoy. I have been there for 17 years and I just don't want to be there any longer.
Am I crazy? Maybe, but now that I am 40 and have lost my way and might as well start over again and this time I will do it my way
My redundancy pay will be £25715.59 it is a lot more than I thought it would be and I shouldn't have to worry for 12 months.

I will be self-employed for a while and review this in September. Any money earned now will go towards debt repayments as a couple of my 0% deals run out this year. So far, I have made over £200 in 2 weeks.

My current debt
Npower £738 0%
Lloyds CC £3133.88 0% - runs out Sept 17
Smile loan - £2971.31 5.8% Finishes Dec 18
Barclaycard - £7790.94 0% (different end dates Nov '17, Jan '18 and May '18
Bank of mom £6000 0% (no rush to pay this off)
Mortgage £21,503.59 - 1%

I will need to do a new SOA but I may just wait until I know for sure what will be my outgoings. Luckily I had already cancelled sky last month due to the ridiculous prices but I am keeping Netflix because it is my best friend on lonely nights.

If you have read this far thank you. I have so much going on in my head right now but this is the short version

(so glad to be back)

[Deleted User]

Hi, welcome to the boards.

Pmo2
X

Bobarella

Good luck with it all

newlifeahead

Thank you for the welcome Purplemumof2 and Bobarella

I woke up this morning with a headache but made my way to the hairdressers for 9:30am. 2nd time I have been in over 2 years so thought I would treat myself. Needed a treatment as my hair had been breaking due to the stress and I only paid £20 which is much cheaper than many places.

I have received a letter this morning from my employer confirming my last day of employment and leavers payment. The date can't come quickly enough :j

Bobarella

Fingers crossed it whizzes by for you!

jwil

Good luck and well done for making such big changes!

Drawingaline

Welcome to the boards, good luck with your journey.

newlifeahead

Thanks all. It now seems real, but I am beginning to wish I didn't agree to work an extra month as this would have been my last week.

Oh well.. 4 weeks to go. 18 working days. Not that I am counting or anything

Kittencat

Good luck with everything. You are going to AMAZING!!

newlifeahead

Good morning all

Saturday - Spent £17.50 in Primark.
Sunday - had my first kick boxing lesson which my younger sister roped me into. I really enjoyed this but I am paying the price now as I am aching all over. It was just nice getting out of the house.
Then spent £30.86 in Aldi for this weeks shopping. I had stopped going for a while and my shopping bill has shot up drastically. Time to return and cut the cost down.
£3 spent at the car wash

My mom invited the kids and I out for a meal that evening, so had a lovely meal with my kids parents and my brother. My mom paid so no expense for me

I have now told my parents about me leaving my job. They were very shocked and couldn't understand why at first. They are ok with it now but think I should pay my mortgage off in full. I don't really want to do this as my mortgage payment is only £300 pm and my monthly debt repayment is more than this. I really need some breathing space at the moment and don't want to put any pressure on myself just yet.

I am just glad they know now.

Monday - No spend day :T
Total spent £51.36
I am still waiting for a cheque to clear from last Tuesday. I need it to hurry up so I can pay my Vanquis card.

I now have £117.80 to last me until pay day next Tuesday. This should be enough and will be the first time in a few months I have not gone into my overdraft.

newlifeahead

I just wanting to write this separately so please fell free to not read.

I feel as though I am more on an emotionally journey than a debt free one. I had been feeling really positive over the last few weeks and thought I was coming out of a dark chapter.
A few weeks ago a friend and also one of my ex's best friend past away. For the last few weeks I have tried to be nothing but sympathetic and understanding that my ex is on a roller coaster. I have taken all his negative comments and side remarks without creating more of an argument.

I always knew that I was going to the funeral as he was a friend from school days and lots of other mutual friends and family members would also go. I never told my ex that I was going and he made a effort to not even tell me when or where the funeral was.
Yesterday morning he came to the house to pick something up for our son. I was already dressed for the funeral as I couldn't get the day off work so had to start work early (work from home).
I had to tell him I was going to the funeral and he was so nasty about it and asked why I was even going. He then went home in a huff and called me back asking if I was planning on meeting someone there. He says things like this all the time and I just don't understand why.

Anyway, I did go and was only able to go to the church service as I had to come back to work. He then dropped the kids off and didn't take them to the wake when his mom, sister, my cousins, aunts and uncle were there. The kids would have been with lots of family members and they are 15 and 12 so don't need any looking after.
When ds1 said he would leave his clothes on just in case his dad came back for them I just broke down in tears. I just can't believe he didn't come back to include them.

I got so upset about it and called my mom. I tried to pull myself together but ended up crying to her on the phone. All this time I have never spoken to my parents about what's been happening and this was the first time in my life that she has every heard me cry. I now know my parents are worried and I really don't want them to be.
I am sure things will get better but this is now the one thing that makes me feel like I am taken 10 steps back.

Task for today. Pack the remaining stuff he left behind and get rid of anything he gave me :mad:
I will not let him bring me down anymore

(apologies if the above is all mumbled. My head is in a mess right now.)