Get a grip woman!

Humdinger1

@Suffolk_lass all good here thanks! No brain mass; some loss of hearing on one side that may well auto-correct.   Hearing aid beckoning for DD and she has deferred a year at uni, starting Yr 2 again in September.   Not wanting to be rude about your mother and sister but I may have no other option! You do know it's not you, I trust?! Love Humdinger xx 

Baileys_Babe

@Humdinger1 thank you for taking the time to update us on your DD, pleased to hear there is no brain mass and she is making plans for her future. I have been sending positive vibes to you both. I hope you have a better night's sleep, you must be relieved 🤗

Humdinger1

Crimped ferrules? I haven't lived...please explain, send pictures even.  Thanks and love Humdinger xx 

Watty1

@Humdinger1  so pleased to read your update.  I have been thinking about you. Hearing aids can be so discreet that DD will hopefully not feel to self conscious 

Suffolk_lass

@Humdinger1 What a huge relief for you and your daughter. I do hope the mitigations work in a really positive way for both of you x

My Mum is 94 and my Sis thinks I should make allowances. They are both incapable of walking in someone else's shoes. Both inward looking in the style of;
Me, "My leg fell off"
Mum, "Oh, do you remember when I did xxxxx to my leg, blah, blah, blah" and my Sis only cares about my Mum and the little nuclear family unit about which she is deeply secretive about, their health, wealth or happiness.

I am probably similar, to some extent, and particularly if I am under pressure (which I was). My assertion that I won't hear from, or see my sister, certainly to talk to, as opposed to receiving a brief thank you text, is correct so far. To be fair to her, I never do hear from her. Her husband is not a fan of mine, has not spoken to his own brother for over 30 years, and really wants nothing to do with me so it is what it is. We get on as if we were neighbours, meeting on the street to say hello to. I'm resigned (but not happy) that when my Mother does die, it will break the bond and I won't know her after that.

As to ferrules, they are the little caps that sit over the end of twisted copper electric cables, so that the connection is improved and you are less likely to seat the connection. Here's a picture. You can pinch it shut with pliers, you don't need a tool, and they don't always have plastic ends, just a little tube the live wire bits go into that you squash to improve the connection. Seating a connection is where you screw down too tight, fracture the wires and degrade the connection because it is up against, not secured under the connecting thing, if you see what I mean

foxgloves

@Suffolk_lass - These family rifts are not at all unusual - we have had one for years - it's upsetting at the time, but we came to the conclusion it wasn't worth wasting any more mental energy on it. From my point of view, the trouble-initiator isn't of my bloodstock & I didn't cause the problem so I'm damned if I am going to spend any more time fretting over folk wanting to cut their noses off to spite their faces. It's a bit different when it's your Mum & sister, but people can be funny b*ggers & sometimes you just need to remove yourself for your own sanity. 
F x

Suffolk_lass

I know what you mean @foxgloves. All is "back to normal" with my Mum, along with a slightly moderated tone when I cannot speak to her on any day, it remains her expectation that we do so, by default. She is slightly less resentful when I can't. She is 94 and her life is much smaller than it was so I know in proportion, it is more important. That said,  in true "my leg fell off", "that's nothing," style, she is completely oblivious to the fact that she wrecked the only chance I get to speak to my Sis over that period.

Apparently my BiL was in the room so any messaging about how foul I was will have been reinforced and I suppose it is some consolation that she would only have been that remote neighbour if she had stayed, because she is only ever friendly and normal when he isn't there. As you say, put it in a box and leave it there

Watty1

Sighing at the family troubles.  It is so sad, so frustrating and so beyond logic in many cases (having own family rifts I understand).  

foxgloves

I agree that these rifts are very difficult, usually as the perpetrator usually ends up re-casting themself as the victim. 
F

Suffolk_lass

This morning I have been baking and have made Butter Nut Fingers and defrosted the leftover Pigs and Devils, ready to cook the latter just  before we leave for our bee-chums "Xmas" social this evening. My bread is proving and a village chum is about to pop round to return some honey jars. 

I shopped yesterday and it took ages after the store chose me for a random check. I don't usually use a self-service option and this puts me off, but I couldn't see another way to secure the offers. I really go there only when I need things like 5k of sugar. I will need some as Spring approaches (for the bees, as thin syrup feed will get them drawing comb. I also used a fair bit when I made marmalade. We are approaching tomato fest. Only seven jars left and I am keen to replenish (two boxes of jars waiting!).

Still well under my average Grocery Challenge of £250 a month but I am over the target I set myself to start low. I shall not shop again this month unless DH runs out of cat litter (his job to refresh) or BranFlakes. I could not bring myself to pay £1.75 for 750g when they are a similar price for 1k in MrM. What am I like!?