Ready To Do This

catandy

I've been starting to look at partial settlements with a view to the one I have already been offered and have started to make contact with a few of the companies to see what would be acceptable.


link financial - Halifax od - 2921 - defaulted - have confirmed they will accept 1500 and are confirming via writing the amount that it will be marked as partially settled on my credit file and that the remainder outstanding will not be sold on to third parties or attempted to be recovered in the future


Barclaycard - 3044 - defaulted - will accept 1522.50 (no idea why the extra few pence) and ditto for the above terms


I've already been offered 1st credit finance - MBNA - 1698 - defaulted and to be cleared for 509 which is a 70% reduction again same terms as others...


Truth be told I am wary about using part of my redundancy money to clear the smallest bill (just incase my new job doesn't work out) but I think I need to bite the bullet and go for it - if the job doesn't work out it will do me until such time that I find something else, I cannot live my life scared of what ifs anymore.


Other good news for the day is son has set up a DD for his mobile and we have agreed a monthly board and keep rate of £160 which he has set up a SO for. It's not a huge amount of money but it will help that's for sure.


feeling more positive overall

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on getting a new job and confronting your OH and son. I think you should keep a big chunk of your redundancy back in your own account (not accessible to your OH) in case the job does not work out. As you presumably don't want any more credit at the moment you can take your time sorting existing debts.

Can you stop paying for your Ohs car and mobile? Does he not get any benefits? As for supporting his children that is not on. Stay strong but I strongly suspect you would be better off without your oh.

-taff

catandy wrote: »

Other good news for the day is son has set up a DD for his mobile and we have agreed a monthly board and keep rate of £160 which he has set up a SO for. It's not a huge amount of money but it will help that's for sure.

That's a good result
Again though, I do have to ask, why is your son paying but not your OH?

How is the new job?
And you could always post on the main board and ask about settlements. I'm sure I saw advised you offer as low as possible to start with, then work your way up until they say yes, or feel that's enough, starting at 10% I think. Don't feel like you should start at 50% for example

catandy

my son has a job albeit a part time low paying job my OH doesn't have a job (and little desire to look for one it seems. son also made it clear this morning that he will not subsidise the lifestule of my OH that does nothing and expects others to pay for him to do so.


I think I need to pull it to an end with OH - there is nothing between us as a couple anymore and to stay with him just consigns me of the rest of my working life as being the work horse that provides for us all. That is what I feel like him and his family are using me as now - well me and my son to be precise,,,


don't know how I am going to extricate myself from this one or when its going to start I think that pretty much depends on OH and how much he pushes my buttons and gets on my nerves. I will need to replace some furniture when he goes as I am going to put his in storage for 3 months I don't know how much money I am going to give him to get out and go or when or how I am going to tell him

newlifeahead

You are doing really well sorting out you debt repayments and good news on the settlement figures.

Maybe only pay one or two of the debts who have given you the best settlement figure and keep the rest of your redundancy money until you are happy with your new job. You could always asks them again at a later stage for another settlement figure.

Sending you hugs re OH. I miss read you line about putting his stuff in storage. I read it as you were going to put him into storage:eek:

I now have this vision of you buying the mattress he wanted and putting it and him with his furniture into storage. Now I am thinking I will pay you to also put my ex into storage too. OMG I must stop thinking these thoughts.

I am very sorry

I have subscribed xx

-taff

catandy wrote: »

I think I need to pull it to an end with OH - there is nothing between us as a couple anymore and to stay with him just consigns me of the rest of my working life as being the work horse that provides for us all. That is what I feel like him and his family are using me as now - well me and my son to be precise,,,


don't know how I am going to extricate myself from this one or when its going to start I think that pretty much depends on OH and how much he pushes my buttons and gets on my nerves. I will need to replace some furniture when he goes as I am going to put his in storage for 3 months I don't know how much money I am going to give him to get out and go or when or how I am going to tell him

You could give him an ultimatum, get a job and be part of the team, or don't and go.
Why do you have to give him anything? You can gently tell him to leave, or you can ask him to go and if he doesn't, chuck him out. He has less rights than a lodger, you can phone the police if you really want to, put his stuff outside for him, change the locks etc.

If you think you can still make a go of it, try the ultimatum, or chat about what you expect from him.

If not, lots of different ways to do it.

As above, don't leave yourself short just yet, maybe offer a very little amount to a couple of debts to start with.
And again, well done

boxofpaws

Catandy, why don't you and your son just move out? Take your things (including your horrible mattress:D), and start again, and let him fend for himself.

Well done on everything so far, finding a job in lightning quick time and keeping on top of everything, what a legend!

I have subscribed

EssexHebridean

Just had a read through - following on from your other thread last week I hadn't realised you had a diary too. Chuffed to bits to hear that your Son is getting behind you on all this, and also that he has no illusions about the OH.

As for OH, only you can make the decision but everything you're saying screams out that you want rid. If you do decide to give him the car as you said then get in writing from him that he's accepted that in lieu of being entitled to anything else - if he really decided to push it that would be of limited use but it might convince him that he's satisfied. Personally and allowing that you can prove where all the income has been coming from I'd get that re-registered back into your name and let him go hang, but that's just me! (I'd also be very tempted to buy that new mattress and put it on the bed while he was sleeping there with the addition of a few heavy weights on top...but that might not be considered sound advice!)

You've done so well so far - and you've got such a great positive attitude in spite of the trial that is OH. :T

armchairexpert

Catandy, it sounds like you already know what you want to do, so I'm not going to tell you how to live your life! Just that you have everything going for you - you're facing your debts, you have a strong work history and you know how to run a household and budget. Once you're out from under the yoke of OH and his family (I cannot believe his 27 year old daughter wants you to pay for driving lessons: apple doesn't fall far, does it?) I think it's going to be all upwards for you.

Cheering you on (and subscribing) from over here!

catandy

thanks all - and yes I know what I have to do im just not sure yet how im going to do it....


anyway last payday from job im leaving today and all gone thru ok - bit lower than I expected so they stopped some of my final commission payment but I cant be bothered to fight it now. D-day to receive my redundancy payment is Monday of next week then I'm out of there and onto my new adventures.


YNAB is starting to look quite healthy it shows that I can cover my essential spend each month up to May already and that should be stretched to JUly once the other payment hits - meaning I have a good cushion for the new job to work out. It's weekly pay so I will know pretty soon if it works or not - I work in telesales so I am really untrustworthy to lots of the companies out there - its an industry rife with cowboys but I like to think that im old enough and have enough experience to be able to spot them and steer well clear by now - fingers crossed!


last consultancy meeting with employer today ref my redundancy which is pretty much a going thru the motions exercise but I'm playing along - I don't really have much choice otherwise. apart from that a quiet day and should be a nsd - which is starting to be a semi regular occurrence.