Ready To Do This

catandy

NSD yesterday so I'm starting to get in the habit of them - which can only be a good thing. Today wont be as I need to put petrol in the car and get some bits of groceries that we need - I've decided this is an area that I need to work on cutting down so we are eating thru what is in the cupboards/ freezer and then meal planning and bulk cooking/ freezing extra portions is going to be the order of the day.


I also need to treat myself to a haircut sometime in the next week, what with starting the new job and joining an office environment its time to lose the 'beatnik look' - last time I had it cut was well over a year ago and I look like a wild haired loon (complete with grey streaks now...)

-taff

COngratulations on your new job, congratulations on sorting out your debt, and uncongratulations on your partner who, as much as you say the word team, doesn't appear to want to be in a team.

Thre are temping agencies he can sign up with, there is plenty of grunt work in factories, he is deliberately not helping at all and expecting you to do all the work. If he were a toyboy, it could be understandable, but he's not. You managed to find a job in week, yet he hasn't in months? Your priorities are obviously different from his....

I feel for you in your situation, I hopw he either starts pulling his wieght soon or you just stop doing anything at all for him, as he doesn't seem to be doing anything for you.
I would also make sure he can't access any of your credit because I'm cynical like that.

Anyway....well done on the positive stuff you've done so far! You've done so well

catandy

Just messed up and spent £9.25 needlessly on rubbish from T!5c0 - note to self must not go shopping when I am hungry - fatal! In the grand scheme of things its not too bad - I have £96 in my grocery budget to last me till the end of the month, son is away until Sunday and then the same again next weekend, so one less mouth to feed for 5 days of that time. Still have stuff in freezers and cupboards so should be able to do it easily - that being said I'm still mad at myself for spending money needlessly..

I'm waiting on payday (next Wednesday) and then D-day for my redundancy payment - following Monday - I want that payment in my hand now so I don't keep thinking something is going to go wrong

Treadingonplaymobil

I am open mouthed every time you post about your OH. I hope all of this is opening your eyes to how much he is adding to your life (that'll be nothing) and how much he is subtracting (emotionally and financially).

You are doing so well dealing with everything head on. Don't dwell on the overspend today, just save the feeling and next time you're tempted remember how much you regretted it afterwards.

catandy

He isn't all bad - I wouldn't have been with him for this long if he was. He has fallen into a routine of doing nothing and contributing nothing and I have let that happen by stepping up and keeping everything ticking over and making sure as much as I could that everything that was needed was provided. Problem is now I've sort of hit the wall with being able to keep the plates spinning - it's me that is looking to change the status quo so I cant blame either him or my son for wondering what has hit them, they haven't been asked to date so yes it is a bit of a sea change for them.

catandy

I've changed my electricity provider this morning and apparently will save £100 per year with new provider (plus have a smart meter installed so I can start plugging the gaps as to why we use so much). Not a huge saving in the grand scheme of things but every little helps so I will take it as a win.

.... and that was probably as exciting as my weekend is going to get - cooking and cleaning planned and that's about all...

catandy

and another 50£ pm saved - son is taking over his own fone contract and has offered to give me something towards board and keep - we are going to sit down when he gets back after his weekend working and 'come to an arrangement'. he's a good kid (but I am probably biased)!

Treadingonplaymobil

catandy wrote: »

and another 50£ pm saved - son is taking over his own fone contract and has offered to give me something towards board and keep - we are going to sit down when he gets back after his weekend working and 'come to an arrangement'. he's a good kid (but I am probably biased)!

That's great news! Well done.

Chrystal

Just read through your diary and wanted to say a massive well done on facing up to everything and the effort you're making to sort it out.

With regards to OH, does he have any income at all, ie sickness benefit, Job Seekers Allowance etc, and if not why not? If he's been too ill to work he must have been entitled to something?

As for worrying where he would go if you split up that would be up to the Council to rehouse him if he had nowhere else to go. Maybe one of his kids have room for him, then they can learn the lesson that help is a 2 way street.
To be honest I don't think that 'talking' will alter the situation. It sounds as though he's been enabled for years to depend on you and he'll probably think this is a flash in the pan and everything will go back to 'normal' anytime soon. Unfortunately you'll probably have to take drastic measures which will no doubt take some time for you to come to terms with.

I'm subscribing to cheer you on. Sending you (((hugs))) and wishing you well.

catandy

thanks for stopping by chrystal and treading .. makes it feel like I'm not talking to myself anymore ...

quiet weekend - went for a long walk yesterday to blow some cobwebs away and clear my mind a bit. I think part of the problem with my current set up is that I work from home, it means that I never get a break from OH and am on call for my kids/ grandkids and his whenever they need me. At least by me going to work in an office with the new job it means I have about 9 hours a day that I am away from it all which will create a bit of a breather - and that can only be a good thing.

last week at work and payday on Wednesday - woohoo!