The perils of being a cat lover!

OldMotherTucker

It's been sad times for many posters on here so, for a little light relief, I thought we could share some of our favourite cat stories! Whether it be unexpected gifts you've found in your slipper or under your bed or a cat with an unusual quirk or habit that non cat-lovers just couldn't comprehend!

I have so many to share and I could talk 'Cat' all day! I've truly loved having a few months off work and spending my days with my 3 surrogate kids! It's like therapy! My cats are not simply pets to me - they are so much more - a raison d'etre if you like:o:o

Just this morning, I reached into my desk for my Actimist spray to relieve my dry and crusty, unseeing eyes but mistakenly grabbed the Feliway instead:eek::eek: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Or when I couldn't worm all the cats at the same time so I left a pill on the counter and my son thanked me for leaving his Thyroxine out for him:eek::rotfl::rotfl:

Or cats like my sweet Millie who tries to groom you when you're ill, but has a tongue like an industrial sander:eek::eek:

Please contribute - there is so much joy to be had in these little beings:)

Deep_In_Debt

I have two old ladies who have given me so much joy over the years.

One of them, Suzy, loves sleeping under the duvet with me at night. I regularly wake up to upside down cat with both her back legs on the pillow. I'd love to know what she dreams about too as she makes some very strange noises and wriggles a lot in the night.

She also loves plastic bags so she rolls around the living room inside the bag, then gets bored and rips it to shreds! I often find myself trying to step over the cat shaped bag on the floor and finding bits of plastic bag around the house!

iammumtoone

I came home once from work to find one of my tampax on the stairs :eek: seems like cat thought it was a mouse, well they do have tails :rotfl:

After that it became a regular thing, I caught said cat at it one, they managed to jump up on shelf to get them out of the box unwrap the packet, and then play, as they played they had worked out how to get the "mouse" out of the cardboard outer.

ERICS_MUM

When my Eric was younger he would wake me up every morning by creeping under the duvet and biting my toes. Ouch, so painful.
I started wearing my slippers in bed (not very romantic !)

Now he's 19 he just stands by the bed and meows loudly - loud enough to wake me up from a deep sleep !

FreeBear

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

Suzy, loves sleeping under the duvet with me at night.

I used to have one that did that - Had to be very careful when rolling over in case the claws came out.

My current mog will peer round the top of the stairs when I get home in an evening to make sure it is me coming through the door. Once she is sure, she will lollop down and greet me as I take of my shoes.

mellymoo74

Tomcat - we are his main hone but he has anther he visits.
Loves kisses but only when on his own so no other people or cats.
Won't go in the bedroom if tiger is in there but is fine if tiger comes in when he's settled.
Like one on one conversation is mute around other cats

Pickles - comes with me whenever I leave the house or room, with a running commentry.
Loves kisses, cuddles, belly rubs and nose bunks
Loves tomcat
Loves tiger
Hates kevin
Will leave the room in a stalky disapproving way if your touching another cat when she comes in lol.
Likes to play with dog chews?

Tiger - loves pickles a lot
Loves cuddles
Since being cat napped and neutered will not leave the house unless it's dark, then runs round super fast to get home.
Systematically steals all other cats beds, then look's innocent
Sleeps under covers with OH

Kevin - comes in, eats and leaves
Will stand and stare until you bunt
Steals (not as well as pickles who has brought me sausages and sliced turkey?)

viv0147

How to give a cat a pill


Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down the straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

jhgkp

Oh THANK YOU ALL

You made my lunch time a wee bit brighter with your stories - getting weird looks in office at !!!!!! is she giggling at.

My late cat knew sign language it felt. She would paw you when she wanted petted and pawed again when to stop.

My current furrball she sits on window and watches for me coming home and mews as soon as get in door to let her out of bathroom.

She is still a kitten, so she is still hair, claws and teeth - I am trying to pet her and she will start to fight - keep telling her no you let me pet you, love you - bless her, she is only 6 months old - sure to get some funny stories to come as she gets older. Oh, when it comes to feeding she will just stare up at where the food is kept until you get it down and bounce down the hall to her food ball and sit patiently by it till you pour and get her head in the way as you pour.

Keep these stories coming and thank you OP.

Silvertabby

How to give a cat a pill


Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down the straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. Posted by viv0147

How to give a dog a pill.

Place pill on hand and ask the dog if he wants a sweetie. Job done.

That said, give me a cat any day!

jenny-wren

You could set your watch by our cat. She could be curled up in a ball apparently fast asleep and suddenly 'ping', her internal food alarm goes off. Then 'food face' starts. She glares at me with that 'human slave, even though I cannot see it, my dish would appear to be empty' stare. If I as much as shift my position on the sofa ... THUD ... she's down on the floor prostituting herself at my feet. If I look like I'm about to get up she shoots off 'come on, follow me, quick, quick, I'll show you where my food is kept'. If I try to tell her it's too early .... OMG, if looks could kill!

Latest favourite thing to do ..... wake mommy up EVERY morning by landing on the bed (another THUD, she's big, fat and lazy) and miaowing (usually right in my ear) to get under the duvet.. This is normally about 10 minutes before my alarm goes off. Crawls in, settles down, purr purr purr. She likes to 'spoon' ... my own kitty hot water bottle (great in winter, not so great in summer). Another dirty look when my alarm goes off and I flail about trying to turn it off without risking a projectile cat shooting out towards my face from under the duvet.
:rotfl:

fairy_lights

I have a grown up cat and a kitten.
Grown up cat has obviously noticed that the kitten gets extra attention (mostly because we spend so much time shouting at him to "get down from there!" "stop eating that!" "Don't you dare pee on that" )
So now he has started putting on the cat equivalent of a baby voice and meowing in what he obviously thinks is a cute and endearing kitten tone. It's hilarious but creepy, like watching a middle aged man pretending to be a toddler :rotfl: