Are there any secrets to enjoying life after 50?

happyandcontented

Goodness, my take on this is that young twenty somethings just starting out can be very judgmental and know it all about what their parents do/don't do. Lots of women (not me, but I do know a few) want to go grey gracefully rather than have the fuss and expense of constant colouring.

Many people in their 50's are overweight but comfortable with it, it doesn't mean they aren't swinging from the chandeliers when they get the chance (when they aren't expecting a key in the door from an offspring!) Shock, horror many of us like a drink or two as well!

Encourage and or even organise activities for them if you wish ( and they are agreeable) but don't nag or judge. Maybe they like the quiet life?

War weekend.....haha, I am the same age and my parents were in the war, so not my generation.

We love to eat out, drink wine, walk, socialise and travel, but sometimes after a tough day/week at work relaxing with a book or the TV is just what we want.

justme111

annandale wrote: »

Think some pretty big assumptions being made. First it was evening sherbets. Now he's got erectile dysfunction because he's overweight?

Overweight people can and do have sex.

None of this has been said at any point in the thread.

And if you aren't having enough sex you've to separate!

The Op came on for advice and their dad now can't get it up, they are having evening sherbets and they've to be packed off to a war weekend even though they were born in the early 60s!

This thread is getting crazier by the post.

But that is the advice - we are giving op ideas as to what issues their parents could be facing (if any). Nobody makes a prescription for leg amputarion remotely, do not worry

FatVonD

I am 57 and like to leave my grey hairs, mainly as they form a streak at the front but also because the front streak is the only grey hairs I have and once you are past a certain age and have that 'same colour all over' dye job it looks like you are hiding a multitude of grey hairs.

Could it be that you mum is a bit glum because she sees her working life stretching out ahead of her for longer than any previous generation of women? We are the first generation of women to suffer from the hike in pensionable age from 60 to 65 (and then another year or two on top of that.) I know I think to myself that, if things had stayed the same, I would be retiring in three years but instead, for me, it's now nine which seems like an eternity.

Maybe they haven't made provision for a comfortable early retirement and can't afford to be going of on holidays or whatever else you feel they should be doing or maybe they just like being at home and comfortable, I know I do. Just because it wouldn't be your idea of fun doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. I actually consider myself lucky that I'm so easily pleased, it doesn't take holidays or expensive nights out to make me happy. The things that make me happy are cheap or free and I'd rather it be that way as I can do them whenever I want!

annandale

A big difference between giving advice than advising someone to ask his mum whether his dad is performing in bed or not. Come on..

And assuming that just because the dad is overweight that he'd have trouble having sex, that's ridiculous.

Its fine to want your parents to be fit and healthy.

But their sex life or lack of it is none of the OPs business.

Some people have very over active imaginations, that's all I can say.

justme111

annandale wrote: »

A big difference between giving advice than advising someone to ask his mum whether his dad is performing in bed or not. Come on..
.

Ah, I taken that line as if the poster meant " what could you do, I cringe at the thought of asking". Indeed asking would been barking mad I think

FBaby

I think posters are unfair to OP. They say that they are close to their parents and are upset to see them what is described as a bit depressed. It is understandable, and commendable that they should be concerned and wishing to help their parents being happier.

One thing to consider OP is that it is winter and most people are feeling a bit down, so if it is recent, then it isn't much of a concern. If it's been going on for quite some time/getting worse, then I think it is indeed very likely to be due to the realisation that they will have to work for many more years.

What's their position? Do they own/rent, and if own, when will the mortgage be paid, if not already? Do they have debts? Do they enjoy their work, do they work long hours/commute? Do they get to enjoy their disposable income, go on holiday, or is it that they do nothing because they can't afford to do so?

Ultimately, whatever your age, working when you don't enjoy your job, especially if tiring, having little disposable income and not seeing any way out of that situation for many years to come will depress anyone.