Are there any secrets to enjoying life after 50?

theoretica

That's a point - what do they plan to do when they retire? Are they looking forward to something positive, or just the lack of work?

JIL

DigForVictory wrote: »

Can you go & stay with them for 5 working days, sheild them from the post, haul them off on walks, swims, golf (just get them *moving*!), ease them off the evening sherbet and get the cupboards & freezer sorted with food they will eat & get both pleasure & use from (rather than pure empty calories treats like tiramusu &/or peanut butter)?

Their GP naturally won't say if either are being treated for any condition like pre-diabetes or depression, but you may want to haul them in for a once-over/check-up and help get any prescriptions sorted?

You can't singlehandedly haul them into the 21st century and enthuse them that it'll be fun - just this weekends TV viewing will have many thinking it's time to book that plane to Switzerland &/or considering antidepressants &/or alcohol, but a holiday from the everyday might put a bit of pep into their step.

Have you anything with which to bribe them? Grandchildren or hopes therefore? Exotic garden plants? New sporting equipment, a dance competition (not Strictly, but perhaps attend a War Weekend in period authentic civvies and enjoy dancing to the music?)?

They're lucky to have you notice & care, but look after your own physical & mental health too!

I am in my early fifties, husband in his mid fifties, if any of my children turned up and suggested some of the above they would be out on their ear.
I have grey roots, I dress well for work during the week but come the weekend I'm a slob, I don't care what anyone thinks.
Maybe they are tired after working all week. Are they happy? If they are then you need to accept that's how they chose to live their lives.

hazyjo

I'm a young 46. 50 ain't old! Perhaps your mum is dealing with the menopause.

Do they have friends? I see mine a lot and that keeps you young. I was at Pete Doherty last year, and Goldblade and UK Subs a few years before that, and go for drinks and dinner regularly. Do they go on holiday?

Nothing wrong with 'pipe and slippers' if that's what makes people happy (it does me now!), it's just that don't wanna be old before your time.

Are you still living with them? Might that be an issue (perhaps financially)?

Sign them up to the anti-junk mail service.

Jx

Nicki

JIL wrote: »

I am in my early fifties, husband in his mid fifties, if any of my children turned up and suggested some of the above they would be out on their ear.
I have grey roots, I dress well for work during the week but come the weekend I'm a slob, I don't care what anyone thinks.
Maybe they are tired after working all week. Are they happy? If they are then you need to accept that's how they chose to live their lives.

I am in my late forties but was thinking exactly the same thing. If my son pitches up in the next 5 years and tries anything like DigForVictory suggested, he'll get the sharp side of my tongue!

In fact if he turned up anytime in the next 25 years and tried it, he'd get the bums rush. My own mother is nearly 90 and she'd be massively unimpressed if anyone tried that on her too!

pollypenny

I loved my 50s: no paying for kids in university, mortgage finished, work very busy but highly successful and being told by one class that they'd guessed my age - 42!

We had some spare cash for the first time and started to enjoy travelling the world.

Now it's cheaper to be entertained than ever, with vouchers for various restaurants and cinema offers. Tell your parents to ring these daft firms and be taken off their mailing lists.

Enjoy life.

chesky

Do they actually read those letters from insurers? I now recognise the names on the envelopes and they go straight in the bin - I'm surprised they don't do the same.

ThinkingOutLoud_2

All the steps you can take are here ...

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/consumer/post/stop-getting-junk-mail/

Note that no one steps is quite enough. But all are easy.

justme111

I suppose they are similar to enjoying life at any age - work or hobby one likes , happy in love life, happy with children , happy with money or having a plan on how to improve it , happy with the way one looks, interacting with friends, developing one's mind and soul , physical activity , health. Many of the listed items are more difficult with age. Do not be too hard on them, you are young and youth tends to be categorical, dismissive and not very thoughtful so any of your actions can grate on them rarher than help. In your post you come across as caring but a bit judgemental, watch it. How you can help boils down to how well you know them and how close you are. I would advise to become closer with each of them as a first step. It may be all that is needed- them feeling you like and value them. People florish when they are valued and being valued and loved by one's child is probably the highest positive experience one can get.

FBaby

OH and I are approaching the 50s (well him quicker than I!) and I have been questioning what there is to look forward in our 50s. That's because until now, I have always had goals to aspire to. I am now fortunate to have reached most of these, and the ones I haven't, I have come to terms than trying to do so wasn't reasonable or realistic.

Our goal is indeed to retire as early as possible now so we can enjoy to do things we have invested our lives to be able to do. All well, but that's still 10 years away, so what do we aspire to until then?

I think it is a phase indeed, that 'mid-life crisis' business when for the first time, you are expected to shift your mindset to being grateful for what you have rather than trying to better it. That's fine, but not always easy to do when you are indeed more and more tired and you start hearing more and more horror stories.

Still, I strongly believe that 50 is still very young. Even physically, they say that you can continue to improve your fitness levels until you are 55 and some will continue to do even afterwards. I am fortunate that my parents are in their 70s and still very active, both mentally and physically, and MIL is in her late 80s and even though unfortunately suddenly more limited physically (although still driving), she is incredibly sharp mentally, and able to do just about everything.

Your parents are probably tired from working and feeling gloom at the prospect of having to continue to do so for quite some time, but the way they deal with this is their issue.

Mr_Toad

I'm one of those who retired at 55 from a well paid job that I loved. My retirement wasn't planned, it happened for two very good reasons.

At 50 I was diagnosed with a neurological disease. There is no cure and it's degenerative but doesn't affect everyone the same way and can be managed with varying degrees of success. I might live to be a hundred I might die next week. I'm rather counting on the former and so far so good.

I had a year off work while they sorted out my medication and planned to carry on with work and my life. Then work made me an early retirement offer I couldn't refuse, I'd have been stupid to turn it down.

That was nearly four years ago and I couldn't be happier. I'm 59 and life is fantastic and I mean fantastic!

I have a great time doing all those things I wanted to do but didn't have the time. I play my guitar, Friday night is pub then off to a friends house where four or five of us have a jam session.

I've just fitted a pair of really loud exhaust pipes to my Triumph Bonneville which I love to ride now I have the time. In September I'll be doing the Distinguished Gentleman's Ride https://www.gentlemansride.com/

Age has little to do with enjoying life it's more a state of mind and finding contentment. My biggest surprise was finding that I didn't miss the job I loved at all.

All that said you can't force people to do more or lead the life you think they should. I have a friend who, at the age of 59, was made redundant. This was last October and rather than look for another job he decided to retire. He plays golf once a week and watches TV. He seems to have simply shut down and got 'old' overnight. I've tried to get him interested in other stuff and failed.

People have to want to live a full life, you can't make them.

Oh yes, there's one other thing that helps that feeling of contentment and that's lots of sex!