Are there any secrets to enjoying life after 50?

gladiolus

I'm asking because I'm concerned about my parents, who are both in their mid-fifties. I feel like they aren't enjoying life as much as they could be. I also believe they aren't making the most of the years they have left. My mum frequently complains about not having anything to look forward to, while my dad mostly complains about being tired and not having the energy he has when he was younger. They also don't make much of an effort with their respective appearances. My mum used to, but since she reached 50 she hasn't been trying as much. She often has grey roots showing through and when I remind her about it she just says she's not bothered. There was a time not so long ago when she would have been mortified at having grey hairs. My dad is overweight and doesn't seem to care about trying to lose weight. There are a few other issues at hand which I think might be contributing to the situation. One is that they keep receiving junk mail about life insurance for over-50s, which I think they find to be an unwelcome reminder that they are getting old. They also seem to be a bit resentful of people they know who have already retired before 55 with good pensions, while they are facing the prospect of working well into their 60s.

That is the gist of it - I think there is too much negativity coming from both of them. I'm an only child and I have always enjoyed a very close relationship with my parents. They seem to have decided that the best days of life are behind them and are seemingly just going through the motions without having any goals or ambitions. Is it common to act and feel that way after entering your 50s? I just wanted to ask anyone who is around my parents' age for their thoughts about the situation.

Amber_Sunshine

I think the secret is being grateful for being alive, and wanting to make the most of it.

Last year I was diagnosed with cancer. When I turn 50 next year I am going to celebrate the f*** out of it. Because having had a brush with death (and not for the first time), if I get to 50 I am going to be damn grateful to have got that far. So many people don't. Life is very precious. But even without the cancer diagnosis, I was still determined to enjoy my 50s, because I'm not scared of it. It's about attitude.If you're determined getting older is going to be awful - it will.

lincroft1710

1. I'm sorry but when you get to 55 your life is over,

2. There's nothing to look forward to.

3. Your brain and body just don't function like they used to.

One of the above statements is slightly true, the other two are total RUBBISH!

PS sorry, just seen you wanted comments from people of a similar age, I'm actually late 60s

boliston

I'm worried that grey roots are a problem as my hair is pretty much ALL grey, not just the roots, and I'm only in my early 50's.

[Deleted User]

boliston wrote: »

I'm worried that grey roots are a problem as my hair is pretty much ALL grey, not just the roots, and I'm only in my early 50's.

It's all about perspective - I started losing my hair in my early twenties and after stressing for a few years about it, accepted that I was going to be a baldie. :eek:
I'll take your grey hair if it's on offer!

DigForVictory

Can you go & stay with them for 5 working days, sheild them from the post, haul them off on walks, swims, golf (just get them *moving*!), ease them off the evening sherbet and get the cupboards & freezer sorted with food they will eat & get both pleasure & use from (rather than pure empty calories treats like tiramusu &/or peanut butter)?

Their GP naturally won't say if either are being treated for any condition like pre-diabetes or depression, but you may want to haul them in for a once-over/check-up and help get any prescriptions sorted?

You can't singlehandedly haul them into the 21st century and enthuse them that it'll be fun - just this weekends TV viewing will have many thinking it's time to book that plane to Switzerland &/or considering antidepressants &/or alcohol, but a holiday from the everyday might put a bit of pep into their step.

Have you anything with which to bribe them? Grandchildren or hopes therefore? Exotic garden plants? New sporting equipment, a dance competition (not Strictly, but perhaps attend a War Weekend in period authentic civvies and enjoy dancing to the music?)?

They're lucky to have you notice & care, but look after your own physical & mental health too!

Money_maker

A War Weekend? What's that?

SuzieSue

boliston wrote: »

I'm worried that grey roots are a problem as my hair is pretty much ALL grey, not just the roots, and I'm only in my early 50's.

I'm 50 and I have a lot of grey hair. I do not see why it is a problem at all. I cannot be bothered to dye it because once you do you have to keep doing it. I think it looks odd when older women have no grey hairs at all.

Torry_Quine

DigForVictory wrote: »

Can you go & stay with them for 5 working days, sheild them from the post, haul them off on walks, swims, golf (just get them *moving*!), ease them off the evening sherbet and get the cupboards & freezer sorted with food they will eat & get both pleasure & use from (rather than pure empty calories treats like tiramusu &/or peanut butter)?

Their GP naturally won't say if either are being treated for any condition like pre-diabetes or depression, but you may want to haul them in for a once-over/check-up and help get any prescriptions sorted?

You can't singlehandedly haul them into the 21st century and enthuse them that it'll be fun - just this weekends TV viewing will have many thinking it's time to book that plane to Switzerland &/or considering antidepressants &/or alcohol, but a holiday from the everyday might put a bit of pep into their step.

Have you anything with which to bribe them? Grandchildren or hopes therefore? Exotic garden plants? New sporting equipment, a dance competition (not Strictly, but perhaps attend a War Weekend in period authentic civvies and enjoy dancing to the music?)?

They're lucky to have you notice & care, but look after your own physical & mental health too!

A war weekend! They were born in the 60s, well after the war.

Savvy_Sue

You may not be able to help them, sadly, some people are just a bit like that.

If they've always been 'glass half empty' people, then unlikely to change.

But you say Mum used to care about her roots, and now no longer does. Can you talk to her on her own about whether something has happened to make her care less about her appearance? Or arrange for the two of you to go for a makeover or book a personal shopper session?

Gloomendoom

DigForVictory wrote: »

but perhaps attend a War Weekend in period authentic civvies and enjoy dancing to the music?)?

Dear God! How old do you think they are?

I'm in my mid-fifties and given half the chance (and enough alcohol), I'll pogo to the Sex Pistols.

Sounds like the best thing the OP could do for her parents is to get them to kick each other up the ärse