Have you ever 'ghosted' a friend? (Or had it done to you by a friend?')

Lily-Rose_3

Giggidy wrote: »

A close friend who I grew up with just stopped talking to me one day 20 years ago, and avoided me like the plague whenever I tried to talk to her. Things were pretty awkward because she lived across the road from me, to this day I still don't know why. I was really gutted because I thought we had a really good friendship and had loads of fun together. I kind of wish she just told me whatever it was that made her end things so I could move on, rather than just shafting me with any sort of closure.

I have had to ghost a couple of friends over the years unfortunately, I seem to attract really narcissistic type people. I consider myself a good listener and happy to let you talk about things that may not always be that interesting to me but matters to you. But I never got the same back, whenever I tried to talk about something, it would be as though they just listened to reply about something that happened to them, it would always inevitably end up about them. It has crossed my mind, maybe I'm the narcissistic one, or just really boring :rotfl: Even so friendship is about sharing, so if I got to listen to your boring crap its only fair you listen to mine

Well I think you sound lovely. I'd be happy to have a friend like you.

I have a pal (Rachel) who was ghosted by a friend (about a decade ago,) who she had known for 12-13 years. They had a great laugh all the time, they had lunchtime drinks, they shared similar music and film tastes, they got on at work, and yet she just dropped her like a red hot poker out of the blue when she left the job.

Rachel was pretty upset and confused; the girl didn't answer texts or emails or anything, and wouldn't answer the phone to her (or return voicemails.) Long story short, about 10 years later, she discovered (from the girl's sister,) that she had dropped her because her husband made a comment about Rachel... He said 'your mate Rachel is a hottie isn't she? Nothing like big boobs and a good pair of legs to turn heads!'

So because her husband seemingly had the hots for Rachel, she was incensed so much, that she cut Rachel off completely... well as soon as she left the workplace, (which was about 6 months after this.)

Poor girl did nothing wrong! :rotfl: Needless to say, the girl and her letch of a husband split about 5 years later!

poppystar

Not sure it is exactly ghosting but I had a friend who I'd known for almost twenty years. She was going through a bad time at work and phoned every night for months to moan. I listened even though at times it wore me down and I felt low after talking to her. Anyway she decided - so I found out later - to leave that job and celebrated by taking two other friends out for a slap up meal! So I'd got to deal with all the bad stuff then wasn't even told about the good thing let alone invited to celebrate with her. I wondered why the moaning phone calls had stopped! It really hurt to not be told or included in the good news after listening to the bad for so long.

Maybe some people think when their life changes big time that they need to drop everything that reminds them of their previous lives?

tesuhoha

I was standing chatting to a friend I had bumped into in the supermarket when suddenly she said. 'Excuse me, I have to get on.'. Then she just walked off. It felt very insulting the way she did it.

I never heard from her after that. I didn't feel that I should contact her after she walked away from me. She had sent me a Christmas card for the years I had known her but suddenly I was off her list. It was as if she had suddenly decided I was a bore or annoying. Maybe I am but it is very hurtful.

Another one who I used to be friends with at work always says we will meet up for coffee and makes promises to attend events I have invited to but she never takes me up on it. I have taken the hint now. It certainly makes you start to question yourself.

tesuhoha

poppystar wrote: »

Not sure it is exactly ghosting but I had a friend who I'd known for almost twenty years. She was going through a bad time at work and phoned every night for months to moan. I listened even though at times it wore me down and I felt low after talking to her. Anyway she decided - so I found out later - to leave that job and celebrated by taking two other friends out for a slap up meal! So I'd got to deal with all the bad stuff then wasn't even told about the good thing let alone invited to celebrate with her. I wondered why the moaning phone calls had stopped! It really hurt to not be told or included in the good news after listening to the bad for so long.

Maybe some people think when their life changes big time that they need to drop everything that reminds them of their previous lives?

That reminds me of this woman who always calls me up and pretends she is my friend when she wants something. She is always applying for jobs but she is not very computer literate so she always asks for help composing her CV, filling out application forms and writing application letters. I have spent whole days round her house helping her because she needs so much help and she goes through everything in minute detail.

However, once she got her dream job I found out that she went out to dinner with some people I also know without extending an invitation to me. These people were from her previous job so I can't use that excuse for her.

Lily-Rose_3

tesuhoha wrote: »

I was standing chatting to a friend I had bumped into in the supermarket when suddenly she said. 'Excuse me, I have to get on.'. Then she just walked off. It felt very insulting the way she did it.

I never heard from her after that. I didn't feel that I should contact her after she walked away from me. She had sent me a Christmas card for the years I had known her but suddenly I was off her list. It was as if she had suddenly decided I was a bore or annoying. Maybe I am but it is very hurtful.

Another one who I used to be friends with at work always says we will meet up for coffee and makes promises to attend events I have invited to but she never takes me up on it. I have taken the hint now. It certainly makes you start to question yourself.

tesuhoha wrote: »

That reminds me of this woman who always calls me up and pretends she is my friend when she wants something. She is always applying for jobs but she is not very computer literate so she always asks for help composing her CV, filling out application forms and writing application letters. I have spent whole days round her house helping her because she needs so much help and she goes through everything in minute detail.

However, once she got her dream job I found out that she went out to dinner with some people I also know without extending an invitation to me. These people were from her previous job so I can't use that excuse for her.

I think most people have a 'friend' like this! (Or have had in the past.) The ones who only bother when they want something. I have had several, and tolerated them for a year or three, and then gradually just phased them out.

Is the woman in your second post here a different one to the one in your first post here? (The one you said told you she 'has to get on....?' and ran off rudely...) Or is it the same woman?