Getting into Debt because of Wedding Costs

firebird082

Absolutely don't borrow to pay for it. The poster above who suggested you and your OH writing down list of must-have and like-to-haves is essential so you can figure out the compromises. We spent about £8k on ours, which was more than I wanted, but we had lots of live music, and I definitely wanted lots of flowers, which bumped the price up. On the other hand, we had a selection of cakes - 2 made by SIL (victoria sponges - nothing fancy), and some extras from Asda! There are lots of compromises you can make, and your guests won't even notice.

Don't rule out village hall type venues - we looked at *loads* (at least 20!) before we found a nice one. I would have liked a marquee, but the prices were just extortionate unless it's already in place for something else.

Good luck!

spadoosh

ScarlettKitsune wrote: »

To keep saving for this particular venue would take us over two years. We don't want to wait that long... I'm 32, and we want to start a family before I hit 35; I know it might be an outdated notion, but I kind of want to get married first because it fits the life event order in my brain. We've already saved our mortgage deposit, which is the same amount as the venue - that really gave me pause. We looked at a lot of package deals, and they all worked out similarly. About 2 thirds of the cost is feeding people and providing drinks for the toast.

We don't want to get married in a registry office... and definitely not a church. We want to get married somewhere that means something to us and have our friends and family there to celebrate with us. Being in Scotland, we can basically get married anywhere with a humanist celebrant, who will charge £450. We're determined to do it outdoors, somewhere woodsy or by a loch. Finding somewhere that people could access easily with a reception venue and accommodation nearby proved impossible.

I've looked at so-called budget venues, and I'm coming up short. My partner doesn't want a community centre wedding and wants a sit-down meal. Personally, I think a classy buffet in a cute village hall would be nice. I found a nice one in Kinlochard, but when we went to see it, OH wasn't a fan. He also wasn't a fan of building the entire wedding from the ground up.

I don't know, I feel like I can't win here.

You sound quite similar to our situation. Ours is outdoor wedding with accommodation for the weekend. We went through must haves, then would likes and deduced from that.

We've got similar numbers and as mentioned looking to be around the £8k mark. We will be doing a lot of the decor and have had to organise more or less everything from toilet blocks to tables. The good thing is its allowed us to be quite flexible with suppliers, when you restrict too much with venue and their suppliers prices seem to jump up a bit.

For the most part ive enjoyed the planning but it can get quite tedious and theres been a few arguments but imagine its the same no matter what plans you make.

We liked the look of the forestry commission (guessing they will have similar in scotland if you havent tried?!) weddings and im guessing they wouldve been a lot more involved as to the organising but wouldve worked out more than we wanted to spend.

If we didnt have friends and family we wouldve definitely chosen the easiest cheapest option but unfortunately people like us so felt compelled to do a bit more. Its also rare that we get to celebrate ourselves and our lives so taking advantage to force everyone to do the things we like to do, we're normally people pleasers but for the most part we're pleasing ourselves. For us its not so much about the wedding (beyond the marriage certificate) or trying to impress (the guests will get slapped down to earth pretty quickly, nothing pomp about it) but a chance to get everyone we love to take part. Its more difficult for people to say no to a wedding.

Re the loan, it isnt crazy or ludicrous to borrow from tomorrow to live for today, just be aware of the consequences (cost of borrowing and opportunity costs and ensure its kept affordable)

@pollycat, it might be bonkers getting in to debt for a wedding but its no more bonkers than marrying the wrong person. People spend money on things they later regret, people spend time with people they later regret. A lot of my friends have spent close to £20k on their weddings and whilst they might resent paying im certain the majority would choose the exact same wedding they had if they where planning it again. But then that does include the friends who have spent less than £3k.

I hate spending money on anything but if it goes as i imagine, it will be worth every penny. It will be a lot of money for a day but will hopefully give ~80 people (hopefully good) memories that will last them forever.

Mojisola

ScarlettKitsune wrote: »

We don't want to wait that long... I'm 32, and we want to start a family before I hit 35; I know it might be an outdated notion, but I kind of want to get married first because it fits the life event order in my brain.

VintageHistorian wrote: »

The other thing to think about is - if you get a wedding loan then it will affect your mortgage affordability if you haven't paid it off when you come to buy a house. The money that goes out in repayments means the bank will deem you having less spare to pay for a mortgage, and will reduce what they offer you as a result.

Don't get in to so much debt for the sake of one day

Especially not if you're planning to reduce the household income by starting a family!

pelirocco

Actually it is bonkers getting into debt for one day
And no you wont be creating a day your guests will remember , or rather it wont matter two hoots to your guests what you paid for it , and you may very well end up getting extremely stressed when something ( and it will ) go wrong

If anyone has the spare cash , then its fine ( just about lol ) to spend it on what they want , but to get into debt is no way to start a marriage , god knows marriage is bloody hard work at the best time

murphy306

Dont get into debt for your wedding, bad start to married life.

Have a wedding that you can afford, not one aspiring to be something you can not afford. A friend of mine recently sunk herself into debt over having a wedding she could little afford just to "keep up with the joneses" so to speak. When will people ever learn to live within their means?

I would say save up really hard for it if you really really want it but dont leave yourself in debt for years afterwards where you cant afford to get a new car/go on holidays/treat yourself to nice things or nights out etc etc.

MrsTinks

Your wedding cost might directly impact the timeline for starting a family... Put that into perspective and work out which is your priority?

OK devils advocate here: What if you needed IVF? You could take a loan out for that but you probably wouldn't get it until you had repaid your wedding loan. I don't for a second think this is likely, but I think you're on the wrong track wanting to spend so much money IF you don't have it on just one day...

Is one day at THAT location more important than your future and family? If it is then that's fine That's a choice - but accept that that one day could cost you a lot of money and importantly stress.

*~Zephyr~*

ScarlettKitsune wrote: »

We've already saved our mortgage deposit, which is the same amount as the venue - that really gave me pause.

Ouch! This made me shudder! You mean that in two years time, you could save enough to DOUBLE your house deposit and you'd be happy to blow it on a party????

Sorry, but I think you're crazy!

I blame all these reality programs for giving people unrealistic expectations. A £12k wedding is for the kind of people to whom £12k is no big deal. Not half a house deposit!

What would you rather have? A better house / cheaper mortgage - something you'll live in for years; or a cookie-cutter, one day wedding that will be identical in every way to every other wedding held in that venue, and will be indistinguishable in everyone's minds to every other wedding they've been too?

Hire the village hall, the ceilidh band, the best buffet money can buy and blow a grand (or two) on booze and everyone will have the BEST time!

And you'll have a fantastic day knowing that you're not in debt, and that big fat deposit will get you a fantastic deal on your dream home.

Seriously, the first few years of marriage can be quite an adjustment and can be hard enough without throwing Debt and possible money worries into the mix!

Lavendyr

You're asking this question on Money Saving Expert. Not "borrow for your wedding" Expert.

Of course you are going to get advice to save! And quite frankly, if you are posting here, you probably know what you want to hear...

Pollycat

spadoosh wrote: »

@pollycat, it might be bonkers getting in to debt for a wedding but its no more bonkers than marrying the wrong person. People spend money on things they later regret, people spend time with people they later regret. A lot of my friends have spent close to £20k on their weddings and whilst they might resent paying im certain the majority would choose the exact same wedding they had if they where planning it again. But then that does include the friends who have spent less than £3k.

I doubt many people would say they had married the wrong person at the time they got married.

As per my earlier post, I did spend 10 years married to someone and that marriage failed.

But I don't actually regret that time.
A lot of time it was fun, we were young.
And the time with that person shaped me into the person I am now.
For example, my ex spent money willy-nilly.
I'm now into my 14th year of retirement aged only 63 with 3 or 4 foreign holidays each year to look forward to because I learned the hard way to be careful with money.
And that includes not spending tens of thousands on a wedding/honeymoon which we could easily have afforded the second time around.

I can't quite get my head round your point that some of your friends might resent paying £x for their wedding but would do it again.

Enterprise_1701C

Do not get into debt for a wedding.

If you need the piece of paper have a small church or registry office wedding and throw a party. Why hire a big venue and spend so much?

At the end of the day, you are obviously committed to each other, these days people do not need to get married to have children.