What puts you off?

Gloomendoom

toffeentom wrote: »

What has put you off dating a boyfriend or girlfriend to the extent you finished the relationship?

Most of the things mentioned on here would have put me off asking for a date in the first place.

Surely people can screen out the uncouth, the smelly and the smokers long before it gets to the "finishing it" stage.

BarryBlue

Primrose wrote: »

Smoking would be an utter deal breaker for me. How could I live with somebody who was prepared to physically endanger my life for years into the future by inflicting their passive smoking on me?

I could never live with a smoker either. Living in a house that permanently smells would be bad enough. The idea of intimacy with someone who also has that smell about them all the time is a huge turn off.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Most of the things mentioned on here would have put me off asking for a date in the first place.

Surely people can screen out the uncouth, the smelly and the smokers long before it gets to the "finishing it" stage.

You would normally think so. However, I was in a relationship with a girl in the 70s, although not living with her. I knew she had smoked as a teenager but given up. She got a new job and I noticed that she had started to give off a smell of smoke which she said was from her office. I suspected she was smoking again and caught her out in a pub one night. She admitted that being surrounded by others smoking at work had got her into it again. I told her I had no interest in a relationship with a smoker and ended the relationship.

Pollycat

BarryBlue wrote: »

I could never live with a smoker either. Living in a house that permanently smells would be bad enough. The idea of intimacy with someone who also has that smell about them all the time is a huge turn off.


You would normally think so. However, I was in a relationship with a girl in the 70s, although not living with her. I knew she had smoked as a teenager but given up. She got a new job and I noticed that she had started to give off a smell of smoke which she said was from her office. I suspected she was smoking again and caught her out in a pub one night. She admitted that being surrounded by others smoking at work had got her into it again. I told her I had no interest in a relationship with a smoker and ended the relationship.

Having never smoked (not even tried one) I once worked in a small office (large organisation) with 4 others who all smoked - a lot.
My clothes stank at the end of the day.
I was so pleased when the company introduced a smoking ban in all buildings.

heartbreak_star

I absolutely hate smoking, my partner was doing very well with an ecig but I suspect he's sneaking the odd few now and again...I hate it but I love him so much

HBS x

prosaver

bad teeth...
falsie's might be ok never tried it..snogging I mean.

joeblags

blue waffle.

AubreyMac

Long term depression or mental health issues.


As much as I try to be sympathetic, it does eventually become a drain.

svain

Fattie
Depression or aggression
Smoker, drinker, drugs, any addiction
Drama queen/poor perspective
Chavvy
Poor hygiene, poor skin, poor hair etc

High maintenance (financially and emotionally)

to name a few

System

Keeping me a secret. He refused to tell his parents (and his ex lived with his brother and was still pally with the family). I got sick of playing second fiddle, reaslised it was making me unhappy, and got out. (As it happens he got back with his ex after we split, so maybe it was a gut feeling)

I remmeber seeing a saying "don;t be someone's option when you can be someone elses priorty" and it struck a chord with how i felt.

System

AubreyMac wrote: »

Long term depression or mental health issues.


As much as I try to be sympathetic, it does eventually become a drain.

Having bipolar this was one of my biggest fears when dating, not everyone can deal with it. It can be a very big drain (especially in depressive episode). Luckily the bf is ok with it.

But i d understand why it would be a deal breaker. And its not to do with stigma etc. I hold my hand up, mentally ill people can be very hard to deal with and if you're not happy you should never stay with someone because society says you should so thank you for your honesty. I think if people are honst about it then thats the best way.