Weddings bring out the worst in people

Tammykitty

On the wedding invitations - recent wording I have seen is


Miss A and Mr B together with their parents invite xxxxxxxxxx


so this puts you and the OH first but acknowledges the parents contributions

firebird082

Tammykitty wrote: »

On the wedding invitations - recent wording I have seen is

Miss A and Mr B together with their parents invite xxxxxxxxxx

so this puts you and the OH first but acknowledges the parents contributions

Yes, this is exactly what we did - we had varying contributions of money from parents and in laws, but we did all the organsing, so the invite came us + parents, which seemed entirely fair.

Good luck with everything else - I'd suggest sticking to your guns and just saying "sorry, no, it's too late to keep changing" and let her figure out a way to live with that. I expect she'll return to her normal pleasant self after the wedding!

Izadora

GlasweJen wrote: »

the politest way to enclose a wedding registry list.

It doesn't bother me personally but I know that a few of my relatives, especially older ones, think that sending a registry list with the invitations is incredibly tacky and that the only polite way is to wait until asked for details.

Good luck with getting your day how you want it and I hope your MIL (to be) calms down soon.

7roland8

Actually it does make me wonder why everyone is !!!!!-footing around her as if she is some sort of god. Really its time your OH man'd up and told her in no uncertain terms it was your wedding and not hers.


She is the unreasonable one here yet you are all letting her get away with it for the sake of peace - but its hardly peace when you are so upset about it.


Hope we never have this when any of my son's marry but I will keep well out fo the whole thing.


Re invites - apart from looking at dates and times no one will care anything of the design apart form you. Same with favours - really an unnecessary item at a wedding and again no one will take any notice. Had almonds at one wedding but really cannot recall anything at any others.

lb364

7roland8 wrote: »

Hope we never have this when any of my son's marry but I will keep well out fo the whole thing.

Please don't! The OP's MIL sounds like a nightmare but no one's getting involved in my wedding planning and it's kind of upsetting! People can get involved without making a nuisance of themselves

As for the invitation wording we're going with 'Together with their families <our names>' - I think it sounds nice without being too formal and acknowledges everyone's contribution.

DigForVictory

Me, I hope when my sons find the right souls to tie the knot with that we *will* be involved, and not just as a cashpoint but in our other talents, cooks, printers, flower arranging & so forth.

And may I remember the greatest gift at times is to Shut Up!

Hoping that as the day gets closer she either dials it down &/or accepts the opportunity has passed, and that you & your husband to be get the day you mostly hoped for!

GlasweJen

Izadora wrote: »

It doesn't bother me personally but I know that a few of my relatives, especially older ones, think that sending a registry list with the invitations is incredibly tacky and that the only polite way is to wait until asked for details.

Good luck with getting your day how you want it and I hope your MIL (to be) calms down soon.

I didn't want the registry list mentioned on the invite but she is insisting and doesn't want to use the perfectly nice registry cards that John Lewis kindly sent us when we set the list up. I'm leaving her to it.

7roland8

lb364 wrote: »

Please don't! The OP's MIL sounds like a nightmare but no one's getting involved in my wedding planning and it's kind of upsetting! People can get involved without making a nuisance of themselves
.

Oh sorry to hear that - I can see what you mean - its good to know people are actually interested isn't it.
I phrased it incorrectly - I would certainly like to be involved - as much as they wanted me to be - but without pushing my ideas and opinions.

GlasweJen

So we went visiting with the invitations and a set of favours (they're edible). She liked the invitations but not the font (!) and decreed that the favours don't look expensive enough. She asked for my opinion and I said "well I'm not saying anything as I want the favours that I chose originally. Those ones that you said looked too big". So she's not happy with me, said she wouldn't eat a favour at the wedding anyway as she isn't eating sweets and she doesn't understand how we can spend so much money (£2/head) on something so small (pair of hand made chocolates). I didn't point out that hosts don't get a favour, maybe I should?

Back at the start she asked how much my dad is giving (lump sum plus wedding dress) and said she'd match it, then decided she wanted to pay for specified items (favours included) and asked for estimates. Some estimates have been wrong because things changed like numbers (she added people on) and she liked a different style invitation to the one I had quoted. We'd over estimated our cars by hundreds as we didn't realise the company would do multiple drops but we were £75 over on invitations due to her interfering and £10 on cake. My sister is now paying for favours but I'm not hearing the end of this £10 on cake, doesn't she realise we need more cake as she's invited more people to eat it?

I hardly said a word to her yesterday, I had a migraine and just wanted to be anywhere but her house with her sniping about this, that and the next thing. With the savings on cars and favours my side are now paying considerably more than his side but you'd think she was the ring master for the 6 ring circus that my wedding has turned into.

She doesn't like my shoes, they're too high. The fact that I'm in a wheelchair and no one will see the damn things is way up over her head.

I just want to scream. We had this wedding at home to keep her happy and I'm now wishing we ignored her protests about us going abroad and left her here as nothing I can do is going to make her happy.

Mojisola

GlasweJen wrote: »

We had this wedding at home to keep her happy and I'm now wishing we ignored her protests about us going abroad and left her here as nothing I can do is going to make her happy.

Having recognised this, reduce her involvement.