At the end of my rope totally

Dreaming~Lilly

What would you do.

I literally have no clue what to do. My whole life is a complete mess. Always has been. I've had mental health issues all my life, social anxiety and generalised anxiety. Have been on medication twice, no help, had CBT etc no help.

I've always been very dependent on those around me. My family and my friend I houseshare with, but I'm a burden, they're struggling paying the rent and bills now and we argue all the time, I try and earn bits online but it's not enough, the fridge is held together with duct tape, the oven doesn't work, have no money for prescriptions or dentists etc, my housemate needs new glasses but can't get them due to no money, everything is a constant struggle, I literally feel always on the verge of a panic attack. I hate waking up to this life.

I have a phone number to call for more therapy from IAPT I think it's called. But regardless of that I can't go on like this with the money situation as well, what do I do, try for benefits which I really don't want to be on and haven't ever, or try and again force myself to get a job? If the latter what do I put on my CV as it's full of gaps, I have been semi caring for a relative as well but haven't got carers allowance so can't prove that.

I just don't know what to do, I barely leave the house and usually never alone, I can force myself to but my anxiety is way up there and doesn't go down, I'm just so sick of not having any money, having nothing, and making everyone else's life harder for taking care of me as well. I feel totally useless and worthless and everything like that. I need to make money to help my family out and who I live with, they've carried me for too long because of these anxiety issues.

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago on top of everything else, so I'm back at the start there with nothing as well. I literally just want to sleep all the time.

I really don't know what to do. I'm 36 now and I can't live like this for the rest of my life. I feel sick all the time and scared and sinking feeling in my stomach. I just really don't know what to do, but need to sort out the money situation asap.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Make the IAPT call.

McKneff

You should be claiming some so rt of financial help. Do it tomorrow

Dreaming~Lilly

Thank you both for the replies.

I will call the IAPT people tomorrow, even that stresses me out.

Have been arguing for ages over me not claiming benefits, it's just so so stressful and they're not really that sympathetic about mental health issues all the time anyway.

I'm sitting here staring at my CV not knowing what to do with it. Or whether to try and apply to jobs again and see if I can stand it this time. I'm really so sick of everything, and having no money when everything around me is falling apart.

FBaby

I agree make that phone call asap.

What the IAP should work with you on is building a plan on the small steps that you need to make so that you can get out of the cycle of anxiety, but doing in a way that isn't going to be such a horrendous experience, it is only going to set you back. Instead, you need to make many little steps in right direction so that each time you go up, you feel better about yourself, and that positivism and energy that comes with it make it easier to go up the next one.

You are not going to wake up one day with your anxiety gone, your CV looking great and a job waiting for you, but if you break down what you need to do to get there, it will happen.

Wishing you well, you can come out of that cycle, you really can.

arbrighton

And frankly, I think you might need to consider GP and meds again.

They're not a quick fix but might just help enough to get you out of the cycle. THe doseage might have needed tweaking or you might have needed a different drug.

Pop_Up_Pirate

I am of a differing opinion.
Claiming benefit will definitely help with the money situation but will also allow you to feel more comfortable in staying as you are.

Your anxiety and fears will not go away by themselves. There is no magic wand to wave that leaves you anxiety free.
It is something only YOU can deal with and the longer you leave it, the worse it will get.

Try to look at your situation as a jigsaw.
Don't panic at all the pieces and scream "How the hell can I fit this altogether? It's too big/complicated/time consuming etc"
Look at the jigsaw and think "I can see all the edge pieces and I can probably put those together if I take my time and do it carefully"
Then you can step back a bit knowing you have accomplished part of your goal on your own through determination and effort.
Take each part of the jigsaw step by step, dealing with one small part at a time.
Eventually the jigsaw will be less daunting as with each piece in place, the next becomes easier and so on until near the end, you will be speeding though it without any trouble.
When the jigsaw is completed, you will have an enormous amount of satisfaction on your achievement and that you did it on your own.

So take life one piece at a time and don't worry about the things you cannot change right now.

There are hundreds of cleaning jobs out there, for example. Many of those jobs won't care about a CV or past history. So perhaps you can start out by tackling that small piece?
Take on a small cleaning job, maybe a couple of hours per morning.
As you work, you will gain confidence. You will start to feel better. When a wage is earnt, your level of self worth increases.

Then you can address other aspects of your life in the same way.

dragoneye454

Hi there,

I too suffer from anxiety, depression, BPD and PTSD.
Some days it is too hard to leave the house, but other days I push.

This is what you need to do. I know it will be distressing and scary, but you will feel a bit of achievement for everything you do.

See if they will put you on the list for counselling. One to one may be what you need.

I know the pills haven't worked, but I have been on six different pills until I found the one that works and even then when people asked me, I didn't know if they were working or not, until I stopped taking them- bad idea.

Don't worry about the holes in your CV, you are covered under the disability act and they can't judge you for that. Getting a job, even a part time one, will be a good thing. It will push you to do things and will help you start to feel better about yourself.

I know the more I stay in the harder I find it to leave again so this will help with that too.

Also, do one thing at a time. Book an appointment- ok done, now lets look at that CV, get that done. The next day see where you are. Walk to the corner shop, buy a cheap item- know that you did it and next time you can do it again. You can apply online for a while and then venture out. Be honest with your doctor. They cant help unless they know exactly what is going on.

Try 'Remploy' for help with jobs, they will assign someone and trust me, it helps.

PM if I can help at all.

fairy_lights

Why don't you want to be on benefits? It doesn't necessarily have to be a long term thing. If your financial situation is so dire that your housemate and family are having to support you and you still don't have basics like a working oven then no wonder your mental health is suffering.

meer53

Take the pressure off your family and housemate by claiming benefits, you can't expect them to support you financially if you're not willing to help yourself. It must be really hard for them too.

Caroline_a

What are you living on now if you have no job or benefits?