Sashybo - Back Again

beanielou

Cars are the pits!

sashybo

They are definitely money pits Beanie! Luckily my tyre seems fine so far, it's been a week and the low pressure warning hasn't come back on in the car. Fingers crossed it stays that way.

We had a lovely sunny few days over the weekend - DH & I got out into the garden with the kids and gave it a good tidy. DH cut the grass and I potted on some sunflowers, courgettes, sweet peas, petunias and lobelia. I have two hanging baskets all planted with my seedlings but have kept them in the greenhouse as it's still cold at night and the temperature has dropped again during the day now).

We also planted the main-crop seed potatoes and refilled the kids sand pit and drained the water from the other side (it's a dual water/sand table with a lid). The kids had great fun with the sand and ended up covered in it. 😂 

We just need to sort out the front garden, we need to loosen up the soil again and add a bit more and then get my sweet peas planted out and the climbing rose secured properly.

The sunny weather seemed to bring out the idiots though - they were all crowding onto trains to go down to the coast and I mean crowding as in there was literally no room and people were pressed up against the doors. 😱 I mean !!!!!!? 🤷‍♀️ In a pandemic that's literally insane behaviour!

Money is no better - we just seem to keep needing things! Both DH & I need trainers, the kids needed shorts and sun hats and we also need to measure DD's feet and get her some proper shoes. She was running about in the garden in DS's old Batman crocs. 😂 

DS is a nightmare to buy shorts for - he is so skinny that they fall down constantly - his age 2-3 shorts still fit him on the waist but are too short to wear to nursery - they'll be fine for the garden though.

I have managed to get some more outgrown kids clothes out of the house by donating them to the nursery charity collection and there is another charity collection bag being picked up on Thursday that I have things to put in.

I have managed to keep up with the bedtime yoga, it was day 20 today so I'm pleased with that. I'm hoping to try and add some morning yoga in at some point but it's difficult with shift work, small children and generally not being a morning person.

beanielou

Well done on day 20 of yoga 

Honeysucklelou2

The plants are all coming along nicely 🙂

sashybo

Thanks Beanie, I'm still managing the yoga every night, it's only 15 mins so not much but better than nothing.

Thanks Honeysuckle, I need to sow some runner beans soon. It's gone cold again so the tomatoes, courgettes & cucumber seedlings are all still inside.

So my tyre started going down again the other day - I've been driving about with a screw in my tyre for at least two weeks. 👀 I must be blind, I didn't see it when I was checking the tyre the other week, DH found it. Waiting on a guy who repairs tyres & lives round the corner to come and have a look, hopefully it can be fixed. 🤞 

DS & DD both have a wee bug, just both feeling a bit warm and sleepy. Poor DD had to go for a nap at 10am this morning and she dropped her morning naps months ago. Poor girl was just screaming even after calpol and when I asked if she wanted a nap she ran to the door to the stairs and started banging on it. 😂 I took that as a yes.

The outlaws are coming to visit in about 4 weeks time, thankfully they are staying in a hotel and not at our house. They have already started their nonsense by arguing with DH about the date they could come up - note that DH started the conversation with the words "This is the only date that will suit us, after that it would be into July".

MIL kept saying "But isn't there another date?" i.e. she didn't want to come up on the date we said suited. 🙄 She wanted to come up about 3 weeks after that but DH said it wouldn't suit as I would be working 3 days then instead of 2. Her rely was oh but we'll still see her.  🤷‍♀️

I thought it was funny as just further proof that they're actually happier if I'm at work when they're visiting as it makes it easier for them to pretend I don't exist. They can also take over in the house and tell DH he's doing everything wrong. 🙄 DH was actually quite upset with them though.

I've had to request to use 2 annual leave days for their visit *sigh* I'm not guaranteed to get the days off though. Don't particularly want to be dealing with the outlaws and their bulls***  after getting up at 5am and going to work and don't want them trying to take over whilst I'm not there. They'll be even more stuck in their ways and inflexible after being in lockdown so I'm really not looking forward to it.

Their visit also means I'll have to reschedule a get together for DS's 4th birthday as DH refuses to have a wee party at our house whilst his parents are visiting. He doesn't want them mixing with my family and our friends. 😳 So I'll need to do it the weekend before or after, both of which DH will be working. 🤷‍♀️ 

janb5

Oh wow- I feel your pain especially as I`m probably closer in age to your outlaws than to you
At least you are presenting a united front and explaining what you are doing as a family.  Well done!
I think you are all doing so well with full time jobs and two youngsters...that`s just brill!

Honeysucklelou2

What a good job you spotted the screw. Hope its easily fixable.

How long do the outlaws visit for normally?

What Jan said in her last sentence 🙂.

beanielou

Your outlaws don't improve sadly.

sashybo

Thanks guys, I think we've just had to accept that the outlaws are very unlikely to change, they are very selfish in a lot of ways and always put themselves first. I'm sure they wouldn't agree with that and would think it's the other way round. I have to try to grin and bear it because I know they love DH & the kids but they have never really accepted me.

My DH has been bullied by them in one way or another for his whole life and moved here (over 200 miles away) partly to escape them but I'm the one they blamed, consciously or not, and they've never liked me since then.

When DH had counselling a few years after moving up his counsellor told him he didn't need to speak to his parents if he didn't want to and he did actually cut them off for a couple of years. It was nothing to do with me but again his parents blamed me, they sent letters to DH accusing me of telling him lies and making him stop talking to them. 🤷‍♀️ Then came the threats to disinherit him and phone calls from family friends begging him to speak to his parents. The outlaws are big on emotional blackmail. 😑 

They seem to forget their own crazy behaviour but think I'm Satan. 👀 I struggle to be friendly with them and actually think I probably have a lot of suppressed anger towards them and they probably sense that too. That they live so far away is both a good thing and a bad thing - a good thing because they would be even more interfering if they lived nearby and a bad thing because they've never had to really get used to me and can just pretend I don't exist except for a few times a year when they have to see me.

Jan I had to speak to DH a couple of years ago to tell him to stop letting his parents make all the decisions. Now we agree beforehand what dates etc suit us then DH speaks to his parents. They still try to have it all their way and once even ignored what he said and just booked the dates they wanted! 😱 I seriously considered booking us a weekend away so we weren't there when they appeared that time. 😂 

Honeysuckle, luckily it's usually only 3/4 nights that the outlaw visits last and when both of them visit they stay at a hotel. When MIL comes up on her own she stays with us which is harder as she's there all the time and we don't get the down time at night. Mind you when they were staying at a hotel after DS was born they used to appear at our door around 8:30am and not leave until 11pm. 😱 I spent that whole visit in a rage with their behaviour, not helped by post-natal hormones!!

Beanie, you're right they don't improve, I wish they would!

sashybo

Money is dire atm, we are back in the O/D by at least £700 every month so are stuck in that vicious cycle again. We do have the option of another 0% money transfer but we've done that several times and always end up back in the same position but with more debt! I just don't know if it's a good idea to do it yet again. 😔 

We're going to have to really cut down, especially on food spending ( I'm too scared to add up how much we have spent on it) and buying anything unnecessary. Unfortunately we have a few birthdays coming up, including DS's next month and the kids always seem to need new clothes or shoes.