Sashybo - Back Again

minimuffin12

Hi Sashy, hope you are settling in well to being family of 4. I know all too well how hard it is to split yourself in 2 with a toddler and newborn..but you are doing a great job..my DD(3) is now the bolter/ wanderer here and she walked off from our childminder at a museum last week..:eek:

Oh ny word your inlaws sound like very hard work!! Im sure you were relieved to wave them off! Im laughing at the 6.30 meal..they def sound like kids who dont get their meal in time! You should plan an outing with MIL next time..like you say its unfair that the men get to go out..just announce you are going the way he does!

sashybo

Thanks minimuffin, I think we're all slowly getting used to having DD around now. Really she's no bother atm as she can't a) run away from me or b) answer back - unlike DS. :rotfl: Sorry to hear you have a wanderer as well! :eek:

Sometimes I feel like I'm neglecting one or the other of the kids but I'm trying to get more organised which helps.

I'm always relieved to see the back of the outlaws. :rotfl: Hard work in many ways. :eek: They do love the kids and have been very generous to us in the past with money etc. They helped us out with the deposit for our house and have given us money for both DS & DD to put away for their futures.

The only downside to the giving of money etc is it means they think they can tell us what to do with it. :cool: They are very stuck in their ways and have very fixed ideas about things and don't like to be challenged. :cool:

They're not keen on me because I can't hide how I'm feeling, so if they annoy me it's obvious. :rotfl: In their eyes I also took their only child away from them as he moved several hundred miles away to be with me.

A couple of years after DH moved up here he cut contact with them when he was going through counselling due to their controlling and manipulating attitudes towards him. Of course I got the blame as being a bad influence etc and they threatened to cut him out of their wills blah bah. He didn't speak to them for a few years although he still contacted his gran and aunt. His mum maintained some contact at this point through occasional emails to me.

Anyway, they're not my biggest fans and I think when we had children it kind of shattered their fond illusion that DH would eventually get fed up of me and move back down near them. Hence MIL's initial disappointed reactions to the news of each pregnancy. :rotfl:

sashybo

New post as last one was getting long!

We have finally had our smart meters sorted out! Only took six months and 3 engineers, the first and third guys knew what they were doing (first guy knew what was wrong but couldn't fix it without more equipment/certain tools) but the energy company were hopeless and didn't get it organised. Second guy wasn't interested in actually fixing anything!

We had to keep chasing and chasing as the meters weren't actually sending any info so we were getting estimated bills & the energy company didn't seem bothered. :mad: Anyway the third engineer finally got it sorted. :T

The energy company then tried to close our complaint off by bunging £60 credit onto our account as "a goodwill gesture". :mad::rotfl: Don't think so after sIt months of us chasing them - it wouldn't have been sorted out otherwise. :eek:

I spent ages writing another complaint email basically saying it was an insult, we wanted more money (& not as a credit on our account) and how could it be a goodwill gesture when the issue was their fault? We managed to get £150 cash out of them. :j :j

DH has been clearing out the garage & sold his fruit machine (don't ask :cool:) for £150 too. :j

I went out shopping with my mum on Monday whilst DH stayed at home with the kids. :T I mostly stocked up on new pyjamas (so will need to get rid of the old worn out ones now) and long sleeved tops for underneath dresses etc.

Have been doing quite a bit of online shopping, mostly for DS & DD and some Christmas presents as well. Need to make a list of what's still needed, hopefully not much.

Sun_Addict

Reading your story of the grandparents reminds me of my mum and MIL when my two were young. Each were convinced the grandkids spent more time with the other one. Now I've got grandkids of my own I'm very different. I accept that DS's MIL sees more of them than I do as they live near to her. I'm happy to see them less often it doesn't bother me.

Glad you're getting into the swing of being a mum of two now

beanielou

Good news on the dosh

sashybo

Hi SA, I just find it really odd how fixated MIL is/was about how often my mum sees the kids. She lives 10 minutes away, of course she'll see them more often than MIL who lives 300+ miles away. It's part of MIL's paranoia about DS not knowing who she is/not recognising her (he does) and her usual routine of how she's going to die before he's grown up etc. :cool: She's in her early 70s but is in excellent health - probably better than my mum who is 12 years younger than her!

Thanks Beanie - DH paid £100 off his big loan and £50 into the savings for the garage conversion, hopefully work will start on that within the next few weeks. Not sure what he's done with the other £150 but hopefully he'll use some towards Christmas.

I used £10 amazon vouchers towards some nice soaps for my mum and my brother's GF. I'm just making up some gift bags and putting an assortment of nice things in them. I need to go through what I have and see what else I need to get. My sister is quite hard to buy for though, usually get her slippers and socks but don't know what else she would like.

We will probably send a box of assorted things down to the outlaws as well - nice tea/coffee, biscuits, crackers etc, maybe a bottle of something and some toiletry bits. I got whiskey bubble bath and soap for my FIL who loves his whiskey and some sanctuary stuff for MIL. Need to go to Mr AL and Mr L's to get some nice food things, only have a chocolate orange for them so far.

DH & I have also bought my mum a refurbished laptop - partly for her Christmas and partly to say thanks for all her help recently - as she needs one for work and can't really afford to buy one.

Have bought a jumper for DH and another bottle of whiskey bubble bath (it was 3 for 2 and I got the beer one for my brother so DH gets the "free" one :rotfl:). Will probably get him a bottle of alcohol and some PJs but other than that I'm not sure.

Not getting much for DS & DD as they both don't really know what's going on. Have some books for DS and some small toys to open but he doesn't really need anything. Was thinking of getting some nice wooden memory boxes for them both with their initial on the top and their full names engraved inside the lid. I want to get them both a Christmas bauble each every year (they can choose them when they're bigger) and thought the boxes would be a nice place to keep their own baubles.

Went out for lunch with my school friends yesterday - it's a nightmare co-ordinating all of our jobs and childcare so we don't see each other as often as we should. Was good to see them both and we had a good laugh, we always go to the same local restaurant and the owner has been there for years and he always recognises us too which is nice.

Feeling really tired just now as DH is working really early shifts so he's up at 3/4am and away to work and I'm doing the night feeds plus dealing with DS waking up on my own. Was running between them the other night as one would wake as the other went back to sleep.

Makes me realise how much DH helps me out when he can. One of my friends has two kids with a similar age gap who are a bit older than mine and her OH refuses to get up and help her with them at night. :eek: So she settles the baby then has to deal with the toddler, then back to deal with the baby again etc etc.

Must be exhausting doing that by yourself all the time - I know so many mums who do, I'm lucky that DH is a good help most of the time and pulls his weight. Although I'll not go into the mental load side of things - I still have to do most of the planning/appointments/arranging childcare etc.

sashybo

Have been too lazy to post recently.

Paid another £10 survey money into my EF, so it's now at £100. :j
Cashed out another £30 am@zon vouchers from one of my survey panels and used them towards Christmas.
Bought a nice dress/tunic the other day that was marked as £8 and scanned through at £4. :j

Have got most of my Christmas shopping done, still a few bits to get and all the wrapping to do. Thinking DS might like a Mr Potato Head toy, not getting the kids much as neither really knows what's going on (especially DD!). Already have some books and small cars for him and have ordered the wooden memory boxes for both DS & DD.

Have also ordered a light shade and wall stickers for DS's new room to match the duvet cover he already has.

DS still hard work atm, very temperamental as 2yos tend to be! DD slept a bit better last night but still think she's struggling with trapped wind and poo being really runny. I think the milk she's on isn't agreeing with her so going to try changing brand.

HV and GP making me feel like I'm paranoid and making a fuss about nothing but her poo is really watery and not the right consistency and she's in pain after having a bottle. I think she's having problems digesting it properly although she's putting on weight and isn't dehydrated.

Trying my best to stop the house falling into wrack and ruin :rotfl: - just about managing the bare minimum, it's clean-ish and it'll have to do. :rotfl:

DancingInTheRain

Hey Sashybo, you sound like you're doing amazingly well. Certainly better than me at the same stage You definitely have nothing to lose by trying a different brand of milk, it might just make all the difference. Mothers instinct/intuition goes a long way so don't let your HV or GP sway you, you know your baby better than anyone.
Well done on surviving the in-laws and :eek: to a fruit machine, at least it's gone now. Take care xx

sashybo

Hi Dancing, thanks. I still feel a bit all over the place at times and feel stuck in a repeating loop some days - feed kids, change nappies, put a washing on, chase/shout/threaten DS, feed kids, change nappies, deal with DS's tantrums, try and clean something without one or the other child crying in the middle, causing me to leave it half done, change more nappies, try not to have a meltdown, stop DS from accidentally hurting the baby with his over enthusiastic love, feed kids, change nappies. :eek: Never mind trying to actually get out of the house. :eek::rotfl:

HV seemed very dismissive although the support worker was better when I called them and told me to take DD to the GP as she was so young.

The GP just seemed a bit annoyed that the HV team told me to take DD in and wasn't really interested, didn't examine DD as she's putting on weight and there's nothing alarming in her nappies apart from the poo being really watery. Both HV and GP made me feel like I was overreacting and DH thinks so too because of this.

I'm the first to admit that I'm a worrier, especially over my children but something is definitely not right. I'm going to try another brand of milk and see if the poo firms up. I've been reading up and the symptoms could be mild (temporary) lactose intolerance as well so a lactose free formula could also be an option if a change of brand doesn't do anything.

Feeling pretty tired all the time just now and like this stage is never going to end but I know it will. Just need to keep going and try not to lose my temper/have a meltdown or strangle DH who has been mostly good but at times a bit obtuse. :cool:

DH also shouts at DS too much and loses his temper easily because he's tired (aren't we all?). I worry about the emotional impact on DS of his dad being too hard on him/expecting too much of him. I spend a lot of time saying "Remember he's only two!". I worry that DH's messed up relationship with his dad could be affecting his mindset when it comes to DS. Not that I'm perfect and never lose my temper or shout at DS but sometimes I think DH takes it too far and I don't like the way he behaves or speaks to DS at those (thankfully rare) times. Just something I think I need to keep an eye on as I know DH would never want DS to feel about him the way he feels about his dad.

Honeysucklelou2

Is her weight gain following the percentile curve that you would expect?

Go with your instinct and go back to the GP if you are still concerned.